bossy - Ness & attitude .. how to deal with it. .

[EmziixBo0o]

So my nearly 4 year old keeps trying to push her luck with me... I tell her to do something like she will throw her rubbish on the floor, I ask her nicely and she won't put it in the bin! So eventually I end up doing it myself. When I tell her to do something she answers back with an attitude.. like "grace sit the table" then I get "no".. I know it's just a phase but I'm not quite sure how the best way to handle it is? Like I need to teach her it's wrong to leave rubbish on the floor and it's wrong to boss me around and wrong to not listen to me.. but I am also a soft touch :/ x

 

[Noodlebear]

If my son refused to do things for me I'd refuse to do things for him too.

I think I'd ask her why she won't do these things and then use her answer in my response....
Why won't you pick up the rubbish?
Because I don't want to
We all have to help out and do things we don't want to do sometimes. What if next time you want me to take you to ..... (Or give you/buy you/play etc) and I decide I don't want to?

If she wasn't very receptive to the conversation I might show her and next time she asked for something say no until she does whatever it was you asked her to previously. I wouldn't force her to do anything, if she doesn't want to that's fine, I wouldn't be having a big argument but there will be a consequence to the choices she makes. No matter how you handle it, it's important to be consistent.

 

[SarahP13]

I have a Grace with an attitude too!

Firstly I take a view on her mood in general before I respond, for example if she's tired I'm a bit more gentle with her and she's moodier when she's hungry so I give her a snack before expecting her behaviour to change.

If she's being rude I get down on her level and calmly say something like 'I do not like this attitude, you are being rude to me and you need to talk nicely to me'. If she then continues I say 'I warned you about speaking rudely, now you need to sit here until you calm down and can speak nicely'. I then put her somewhere close but not next to me or I leave her and go and get on with something else. It takes anywhere between 30 seconds and and two mins for her to come and see me for a hug, she usually apologises too but I don't make her (if she's sorry she'll say it, if she's not then there's no point making her say it IMO!)

I also give her choices, 'you can get dressed now or later, your choice. But if you get dressed now we'll have time to go the playground' or 'we don't throw rubbish in the floor, you can pick it up now or later but you will have to pick it up eventually' and walk away, let her think about it. If she chooses to put it in the bin then praise her for the good choice. If she doesn't then I leave her but if she then says she wants to paint or go to the playground etc, I tell her I need her to help tidy up the rubbish before we can do that.

I've been more consistent lately and it had definitely helped. She still gives me attitude but it doesn't go on for as long, she stops pretty quickly and apologises.