C Section or VBAC

[Malouka]

Hello

I will try to keep it short..but I am desperate for some good advice.

10 months ago I have had an emegency c section. Baby turned during labour...

I am now...7 months pregnant. 9 weeks to go untill due date. I have the option to go for a VBAC or elective c section.

With my first I was terrified for a c section. As I dont know anyone in my family whjo had a section I didnt think I would get one.. well I did and I was very depressed afterwards... Im terrified for surgeries, blood, stitches and everything that comes with it...A lot of people do not understand how huge my fear is. You can tell me that the doctors are experienced and that many many women have done the same etc.. it wont take my fear away. I am not stupid, I know I am in good hands thats not the problem..

So I am deeply traumatized by what had happened. What made it worse is thtat I had no help whatsoever from friends or family..absolutely none.. My husband luckily has helped me a lot, but he lacks on the emotional level... I needed and still need a lot of emotional help.

Back to my question.. I am due in about 9 weeks and have to choose for vbac or c section. VBAC sounds great on one hand because recovery usually is much quicker and I do not need a surgery.. On the other hand I am terrified to go through tha tprocess again and I think I will block when the time is ripe. I am also terrified that I will have a major tear and that everything down there will be ruined. In that case I'd rather have a c section since im ruined over there anyway.... I do not want 2 memories of traumatic briths.. 1 is already enough.

But if I choose for a c section I do not know how I will cope in theathre.. I will be all alone since my husband has to stay with our son at home. I will really freak out and fear they will even have to put me a sleep.. also worry that all that stress cannot be good during a surgery.... Yes I have a problem I know but this cannot be solved in a short time and reall y need some advice. Please do not advice to find someone to babysit or help around as this is just impossible. Its just me and my husband.... I am completely lost...

 

[Malouka]

My midwife also knows about my fear and everytime I speak about it I cant stop my tears. She has tried to get me a midwife counsellor it had been 3 months now and havent seen anyone... I did contact her about 3 times so I just give up as no one gives a ****

 

[SillyMoo1983]

Hi, I'm afraid I can't offer advice but I can offer a I too had an EMCS for my DD who was undetected breech. It really knocks it out of you as you have all these visions of a calm birth and then wham!you end up in theatre. And afterwards I did feel traumatised, felt a failure at not getting DD to BF too. She just never latched properly. Now, 2 years later I have just found out I'm pregnant and I'm excited but nervous all at the same time. I'm scared of another EMCS. If I'm going to have one I want to know beforehand! BUT I do have supportive parents. I am also scared of a VBAC as I've never given birth that way before so have no idea if I can do it. I might lean towards a natural birth but right now I just don't know. I will be spendimg a lot of time on google me thinks! I'll be keeping an eye on your thread and hope you get some useful replies

 

[Claudia83]

I think it is a really personal decision to make and no one on here can make it for you, but we can offer you commiseration, hugs and words of encouragement.
I had PPA/PPD after having a c-section with my first. I was always in tears and I did see a therapist for it because I had a hard time coping with the fact that I didn't have a natural birth. I was very resentful of my doctors and I hated the way I was handled. I needed someone to blame and in the end, I realized that the way of the world cannot be controlled and I did the best I could. I used all my energy to be the best mom I could and focus on the beautiful baby (now toddler) I have. We are TTC and I would LOVE a VBAC with #2, BUT I am also mentally preparing myself in case I end up with a c-section. I think that is the only way to go; try to let your body decide when baby is ready and if an issue arises, be prepared to go into surgery. Best of luck hun and just try to imagine what would make you the most happy. Also, about tears, they will stitch you up. All my friends who have had tears get stitched up and don't have any issues or are ruined down there.

 

[tristansmum]

I had emcs with my first for brow presentation and failed forceps delivery. I was so down afterwards. Took ages to bond with him, bf was awful and gave up after just a few days, in so much pain from the section etc. I'm ok with it now as for me the love I feel for him is greater than my disappointment over the birth (it took over half a year to feel that). However I hate my section scar.
So I knew vbac was what I had to go for second time. Luckily Midwife and doctors all supportive and I was considered a good candidate. Had a bit of a wobble at 39 week's pregnanct as I thought if I'd gone for section he would have been there already plus I was measuring big and I got scared. BuT I kept thinking just how import ant this was to me.
Spontaneous labour started at 40+6. 3 hours of painful contractions and a hour of pushing and he was born! Was bog at 9lb 3oz and I tore. Second degree and quite alot of stitches. I was shocked at my vagina afterwards. So swollen and sore. But way better than section. My all healed up now and visually you can tell. So please try not to worry. Hubby says he can't tell any difference. My friend had third degree tear and she says all is normal so it won't be ruined! Also my bonding with him was immediate and I breast feed fine.
This is just my experience and no one can make it for you but I hope it helps x

 

[RJsMum]

I had an EMCS after 42 hours of labour with DS who was 9DPD (failure to progress...got to 9cm). I have actually recently had a consult about a VBAC and found having that meeting about it very informative and helpful. They went over my yellow birth/hospital notes with me (the ones you don't get to see) and were able to answer any of my questions/concerns. They were totally in support of whatever decision I wanted to make, but strongly encouraged VBAC as it's the "safer" option. Since I laboured spontaneously the first time I was reassured that my body "knows what it's doing."

I think the best thing for you to do is ring the hospital and arrange a consult about a VBAC. Either way it cannot hurt to get info/reassurance.

 

[bb80]

hello there,

I too went through the same thought process as urself about vbas or elucs. I am a midwife/rn myself so i would always advocate for a "natural" labour, but im also a realist and know that thi sisnt always possible and having a healthy mother and baby at the end of it it THE MOST important thing second to a postive birthing experience.

Im 15+4 with my second i had a elucs 8 years ago because she was a breech presentation. i have opted to go through a obstetrician (private) this time around again and was quite adement about having a vbac at my 10 week appt. now i have changed my mind and this is how i saw it

* my abdominal walls have already been operated on so i would like my perinium intact
* i know unterine rupture is minimal but if it were to happen it has a catastauphic outcome

Im not sure how midwife training is where your from but here student midwifes (post graduate and undergraduate) are required to follow through with a pregnant lady antenatley intrapartum and postnataly so this may be an option if you choose to have the elucs he/she will be there in theatre as a support person for yourself. maybe contact the universities or colleges in your area and enquire?

please understand this is just my opinion i have chosen what is best for me
but know that your thoughts are valid and i can completely relate

goodluck with everything

 

[Malouka]

Its a very difficult decision and I dont think I am able to make that decision. Like someone earlier said in this post.. I will just wait untill labor starts and see how I progress.... I will leave it in God's hands. There's nothing else I can do and I will try not to think of it too much now. What will happen will happen.. it's not in my hands