Can I have a pep talk please?

[red_head]

Feeling really really really low. I see all these lovely BFPs and am so happy for everyone, and then I just imagine how it will be when I finally get mine, and I start crying happy jealous tears, and then I imagine the panic I'm going to feel when I get mine, as I'm sure with the luck we've had so far it won't stick, and it just makes it really hard to breathe sometimes! We've been trying for three years, had a miscarriage very soon after starting to try. Thought I might be lucky this month, but now 23dpo with a negative test, so what I thought was an implantation bleed was actually a really light period. I just really wish it was our turn. Some of our friends are on to their second round of pregnancies now (one couple had an oops and are actually on their third, much to her dismay!!) and as much as I am so pleased for them, it really does make my heart ache. I have tried to avoid forums etc as I try not to focus too much on it now - I was on net mums but left as the build up each month got too much. Think maybe joining here was a mistake, but just felt I needed some support. x

 

[ILoveme29]

@Red Im sorry your down today, I definitely understand how your feeling. I just went to an old thread I was on last year to find mostly all of those ladies have either had their babies or are currently pregnant. Its hard when ppl constant ask you why you don't have kids? or what are you waiting for?. And I have to hold my tongue because they don't know our struggles, its really not easy. But you have to remind yourself every time you feel that way not to give up. you keep pushing, you make changes and just when you think u cant you will. Just know you are not alone. Prayers you will get a bfp soon.

 

[red_head]

Thank you Iloveme29! I know, it's silly you feeling like giving up, but then I realise I can't really give up, because even if I went back on the pill or something, I still know every month I'd hope it was the 0.01% chance the pill didn't work!! lol! I'd probably have just the same chance of getting pregnant anyway!! Thank you, I hope you get one soon too xx

 

[MKaykes]

Hi red_head - it's a hard road to be on, sorry you are in a slump I find it so hard in "real life" to have people to talk about it with, because they just don't get it. I'm tired of hearing "it'll happen someday soon." I know people are just trying to make us feel better, but the reality is, it may not ever happen.

I agree too with the heartache of other people's pregnancies. On one hand, so happy for them that they get that joy and don't have this heartache, but it just seems so unfair sometimes!

I hope you can find some hope, and definitely support here! I always try to think of the positives of not being pregnant, like having time to myself, being able to come and go as I please (my hubby and I are very independent), and having a night out with my childless girlfriends without having to coordinate childcare/schedule with the hubby. And, of course a glass of wine or margarita typically occurs soon after AF arrives, because, why not?

Good luck to you, hopefully your time will come, and when it does, it will feel so right!