Can somebody help snap me out of this state of mind!?

[squeaky1983]

Hi ladies,

I really need some help in changing my thoughts at the moment. It seems everyone is pregnant at the moment so I deleted my facebook account. Everywhere I go there are pregnant women most of them pushing a pram with a cigarette in their hands - I look at them and think why not me...I could do better than them! I'm becoming so bitter!

We have been ttc for 5 years and 2 months and never gotten a bfp.

I've never felt so low. It's not like me to be so sad. We've been to the drs and they say all is clear. I can't understand why we can't conceive! I just feel like constantly crying I'm snapping at DH for no reason - I just don't feel like me anymore.

How have you been able to pull yourself out of this state of mind??

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Pinkie3]

Sorry to hear of your struggles and that you are feeling so low at the moment. It's only natural to feel bitter and angry.

Well done on deactivating your Facebook account, you will find this a big help. I felt exactly the same and shut mine down New Years Day I felt it was having a very negative effect on me and I think it had been for a while. The good thing is that you can go back anytime when you are feeling more positive.

Have you thought about or discussed what you are going to do from here? Is an IUI or IVF an option for you? I found it helped me to have plans in place.

Do you have anything that can distract you from TTC or to look forward to?

I felt like this back in Oct when our IVF failed the only thing that worked for me was having a break from TTC and its been great. This is the first month that we are getting back on the wagon, If you can bring yourself to have a break I highly recommend it, we didn't try once so there was never that heart ache when the AF arrived, I didn't feel guilty about drinking too much and totally switched off, its really helped me re-focus.

Sending you positive vibes

 

[amy8686]

I'm with Pinkie: the things that have helped me are having a plan in place about what treatment we would try next, and also taking a break when it got to be too much.

I was initially scared of taking a break, like we would be wasting time while the clock was ticking, but my doctor actually encouraged me to do it. His thinking was that I'd have better chances (and better mental health) if I were less stressed, and that benefit would outweigh any downside of being a year older.

These past several months have been SO freeing, and I finally have been feeling like myself again. We've just started trying again and I have much better perspective than I did before.

One more thing that has helped me is to learn more about adoption and have some conversations with my husband (and friends and family) about what that would be like. We still really want a biological child, but I feel more excited about adoption as a realistic possibility for us, and having a decent backup plan makes there be less pressure right now.

 

[squeaky1983]

Thanks Ladies! I had a good old cry last night and feel a lot better today. I think I am coming to terms with the likelihood that it's not going to happen. We are running out of time now. Im 31 DH is 54 so we don't really want to be much older.

I think what's triggered it off is that my stepson and his gf just had their first baby. We were at the hospital and there when they came home. His other son has 2 boys also and they are coming home from America in April. I'm so excited to get them all together and to see them all - I suppose that's where these feelings have stemmed from.

It was so frustrating when we were at the hospital, there were women there in labour, having contractions smoking a cigarette! it just really upset me and made me angry.

If we opted for IVF we would have to pay as DH has children and I don't think financially we could afford it. I have made an appointment with my GP for next week, but I'm not holding my breath he's useless. To make matters worse my last AF was 4 days early and only lasted 1 day, so that got my hopes up as well!

I suppose that if I take the positive from our situation - I have a wonderful relationship with both of my stepsons (there's only a 2 & 3 year age gap) and their partners and their children - so I get to spoil the grandchildren more and spend more and go to America more often. They will obviously never see me as a mother but the children know me as a nanna! (I know it sounds odd!!)

I'm definitely going to take a break for a while, enjoy myself and easter with the family, let my hair down and get smashed and get back into my knitting & cross stitch! It's just hard trying to put it out of your mind, but I will find away before I throw myself into depression!

Sorry for the long post, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your replies it really has helped me XOXOXOX

 

[louimum]

hi huni hope your ok, just wanted to let you know your not alone. ive been ttc 5yrs now and just had a failed ivf cycle, i really dont think i can take much more. 7 babies have been born in just my little group of friends and i was trying 1st!! to say im heartbroken doesnt even cover it.
ive got a baby shower on sunday and another christening in a couple of weeks, im trying to lose some weight and chill out (not happening ) before my 2nd and final ivf cycle starts, i feel infertility has ruined my life, i avoid everyone, im always miserable and just dont feel myself anymore. im so sorry for the moaning negative reply but i just wanted to let you know your not alone. life is so cruel at times isnt it, i wish i could wake up tomorrow and not want or yearn for this baby, its like grieving for something/someone you have never met. xxxxxx

 

[squeaky1983]

hi huni hope your ok, just wanted to let you know your not alone. ive been ttc 5yrs now and just had a failed ivf cycle, i really dont think i can take much more. 7 babies have been born in just my little group of friends and i was trying 1st!! to say im heartbroken doesnt even cover it.
ive got a baby shower on sunday and another christening in a couple of weeks, im trying to lose some weight and chill out (not happening ) before my 2nd and final ivf cycle starts, i feel infertility has ruined my life, i avoid everyone, im always miserable and just dont feel myself anymore. im so sorry for the moaning negative reply but i just wanted to let you know your not alone. life is so cruel at times isnt it, i wish i could wake up tomorrow and not want or yearn for this baby, its like grieving for something/someone you have never met. xxxxxx

Aww hun there are no words to describe the emotion. I have just learned that someone I know have just had a successful 2nd round IVF! Hang in there sweety the best things come to those who wait! Good luck on your next cycle, be sure to let us know when you get your BFP!!xxxxxxxxxx