Can't do this :(

[Kians_Mummy]

Currently sat in hospital crying my eyes out. Sorry if this is long or turns into a self pity post but need some advice/support.

My baby girl was born last Monday at 34 weeks. I had Pprom and the hospital didn't listen to me when I said something wasn't right. She ended up being born with e.coli sepsis. She was swisked away as soon as she was born and I got rushed into threatre because of the infection I couldn't deliver my own placenta. I didn't get to see her until the Wednesday. Which was for a brief 10 minutes. She started getting worse and we were transferred to a different hospital. On the Tuesday I started expressing and was getting nothing at all.

Wasn't until after skin to skin on the Thursday that I was able to actually get anything. Was only 5mls but at least something. On Saturday my little girl had improved that much she was able to come on the ward with me and today I have been getting anywhere between 30-45ml in each expression (only 15ml coming out the left. The rest outta the right). I've tried her to the breast (shes currently being tube fed my ebm) and she will suckle a few times then will come off crying and then getting fed through the tube. She searches etc for the breast but can't seem to get her to latch on properly.

My breasts are really swollen, sore and hot to touch but I've just been getting on with it.

I've got so much going on my mind like it will be so much easier just to give her formula instead of the having to get up feed her, then express etc. But then I feel like a failure. Its something I've wanted to do all the way through pregnancy and I've am finally building up my milk and would feel like it was all a waste of time. They've said to just express and give her it in a bottle but that stil means constantly expressing .

My head is all over the place and I feel like the last hospital I was in ruined my whole birthing/feeding experience

 

[lau86]

Sorry you're little girl hasn't been well. You're doing such a good job! It's normal to only get tiny amounts at first. She may just be too unwell and too little to latch on at the moment but that doesn't mean she won't in the future. The best thing you can do is express when you can and rest when you can. There's always really good advice and support on here if you need it. Some of the other ladies may have similar experiences.
I hope your LO is better soon x

 

[shinona]

You poor soul, you two have had a tough start in more ways than one.
Don't be hard on yourself. Without a doubt breastmilk will be best for your lo. But expressing is tough work. Keep trying to see if she'll latch and she may just get it. It may be tricky if your breast is engorged and she's only little. Have you tried expressing some milk off and then latching her? Is there anyone around to show you other holds? Football hold maybe?
Also, do you have a hospital grade pump to try and be as efficient as you can?
Huge hugs xx

 

[lanet]

My baby boy (twins) was in the nicu and the first couple of weeks were a blur. I would breastfeed each twin and then pump (he would receive most of his through the tube) every 3 hours, leaving about 30 minutes to sleep in between before the process started over.
If breastfeeding is something you really want to do then keep at it. She will likely become a much better breastfeeder as her due date approaches. We had some hurdles but it just made me more determined. We are going strong at 4 months now.
However if you do decide to go to formula, that's ok too.

 

[lanet]

Also try a nipple shield, it really helps them latch when they have such a small mouth. We are just weaning off our shields.
You could also pump and give Gera bottle, we did that some in the beginning until they were better feeders too. It all gets easier

 

[confused87com]

Congratulations on your baby. I found that my milk came out to fat for my son's little mouth so he would take a little then scream and thrash as couldn't cope with the volumes. I pumping a little first helped slow the flow and pull my nipple out so he had more chance. I found it hard in hospital because they tried to stick to set feeding times even thoughi was trying to breastfed. Is so hard to begin with. My son left on boob and formula but once out I switched off formula. It can be done just keep trying and lots of skin to skin.

 

[confused87com]

I used shields for a short while too. Worth a try. Also try her at cost signs of hunger .I was never allowed to try in neonatal until he was screaming . By that point he was ina right flap and wouldn't latch. As she gets bigger it will get easier

 

[noon_child]

First off that amount of milk seems perfect. Your baby needs little and often. My first expressing session on the day my LO was born...0.6ml! Now your baby is 7days old her stomach will have just reached 30ml in capacity (maybe less if she is preemie).

If the hospital doesn't have a good infant feeding team with qualified lactation support, can you call La Leche League or some similar organisation? I'm sure they would come to the hospital with specific guidance and info for preemie babies.

 

[redneckhippy]

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job and your LO is such a fighter! Whatever you decide to do, you are not a failure! If you want to keep breastfeeding, others have provider some great resources. You also may likely qualify for donor milk if that's a route you want to pursue. If you decide formula is what's going to work best for you then that's OK too. Don't borrow worries, your LO is blessed to have her mommy there by her side as she fights thorugh this regardless of how you decide to feed her. The support is there for you to work through the breastfeeding challenges if you wish, but by no means are you a failure no matter what you decide.