Can't stop checking the TP!

[jrob]

When will I finally feel like I can stop doing this? I feel like I am getting obsessive and am super paranoid and have to check the toilet paper for blood every single time I go to the bathroom. I'm only 6 weeks 5 days so I know anything can happen and I'm just SO scared of having another miscarriage. Will I ever start feeling safe enough to stop checking? I think the paranoia is affecting my sleep too because I had a horrible nightmare last night that when I went to the bathroom I found blood and I woke up crying. I was in a lot of pain last night. Cramping that went back and forth between sides and it came and went. I woke up a few times throughout the night. I also had really bad leg pains throughout the night so I think that's the pain that actually woke me up, but when I'd wake up the uterine cramps were there too. I feel like every ache and pain is making me more paranoid about losing the baby. Is this normal to be checking so much, though? There are times that I am actually worried while other times it seems like it's just become force of habit. I just want to feel safe that I don't have to do this anymore.

 

[carebear1981]

Trust me, you are not alone!! I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and I still check every time. There was a thread awhile back and a lot of girls are doing it too

Try not to worry (I know easier said than done)

 

[Fit_Mama2Be]

I checked every single time last pregnancy and know I will for this pregnancy too (even though I never had any bleeding/spotting last pregnancy until after my baby had already died and I was induced).

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it doesn't cause you too much anxiety - I actually feel somewhat victorious every time I check and there is no blood.

Here is some silliness that will hopefully lighten the mood - DH and I went to the movies during the 9th week of my last pregnancy. I managed to get through an entire movie without leaving to pee(!) but of course had to race to the bathroom right after. As soon as I wiped I saw dark brown and my heart jumped straight into my throat. A couple of second later I realized that in my haste to pee (the dim lights didn't help either) I had failed to notice that the toilet paper was actually brown and not white...so of course it looked dark brown when wet.

 

[jrob]

Thanks ladies. It's good to know I'm not alone. I really hope I can get past this at some point though. Like I said, sometimes it feels like it's just become force of habit. I hope I don't get so used to doing it that I end up continuing this behavior post-pregnancy lol. That would just be super weird. But yeah, I feel better knowing I'm not the only one this happens to. And I do feel a little bit victorious every time it shows up with no blood. And I think I would have freaked too with the brown toilet paper in that situation!

 

[Nanaki]

You are not only one and there is others doing it included me!! I still doing it and I am 17 weeks. I had a MMC and it has scared the hell out of me.

Hugs xx

 

[mummy3ds]

Your not alone, I have had 2mmc (1st was oct, 2nd was feb) I've just found out im of again and I'm checking so much I am sore down there as I wipe so hard, on a positive note I'm peeing loads, excessively thirsty and have a touch of thrush which I had with ds4 so fxd for my sticky little bean.
Hugs Hun xxx

 

[pink_phoenix]

I'm 33wks and I still do it now! Not sure if it's habit now or not and still get anxious at ever pain or twinge or upset stomach!
I suffered awful nightmares too pretty much every night but they have tailed off to maybe once a week.
All the best with this pregnancy and I hope you manage to be a little more relaxed soon xXx

 

[EmpireBiscuit]

17 weeks here and still check it every time

After 2 losses I don't think there's ever a relaxing moment in a new pregnancy.

On the regular forum I can't chat prams and names, once you've had the loss it does change how you feel.

 

[Kellen]

I did the same thing after our loss. Although I'm not pregnant now we are hoping to be in the future. I did freak myself out around 10 weeks after I ate a bunch of beets and my pee was tinged pink. I ran out of the bathroom crying to DH that I was positive it was another MC.