Cant stop crying

[soulsister]

I had a natural miscarriage about 10 days ago, I was about 8 weeks pregnant. Last year we had to make the impossible decision to terminate at 23 weeks after our baby boy was diagnosed with a fatal genetic condition.

I am devastated and cant seem to hold it together anymore. I just feel like my body has given up on me.

I have the most wonderful little girl and I am desperate to give her a brother or sister - but now people have started telling me that the age gap would be too much and that it wouldnt be fair on her to have such a gp between her and any siblings.

How can they be so cruel - its not like Im doing this on purpose - If my stupid body wasnt so crap she'd have plenty of siblings...

I'm sick of it all - I just feel like a total failure - isnt childbaring the one thing us ladies are supposed to be able to do?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Laura x

 

[orange-sox]

What a load of shit (sorry) there's a 15 year gap between me and my little brother and I love it, I get to spoil him to bits

I am so sorry people are being so cruel to you sweetheart

I too feel like a failure, a failure as a mother, a failure as a partner, a failure as a woman and it tears me apart... the only place I can feel at peace is here with people that understand me.

What I'm trying to say is, cry all you want hun, and scream if you need to... we're all here for you xxx

 

[babytots]

oh hunni dont you dare listen to what other people say any age gap is a good age gap hunni and they shouldn't be so damn insensitive by saying that.

how old is your little girl? i have 2 girls one who is 3 in a couple of weeks and my youngest is 19 months so a small age gap and its lovely though they fight a hell of a lot! my friend has a son whos 7 and just had a little girl and her son adores his little sister and their age gap is just as lovely.

you are not a failure dont ever think you are hunni. its hard not to i know as we as mothers should protect our babies and nuture them in our womb but sometimes even our love for them just can't save them. i've lost 3 babies and i really felt like giving up after jessica but i look at my youngest and see how she is around other babies and how loving she is when playing with her dolls that i want to give her a little brother or sister and i want another child to complete my family.

if it takes me 1 year or 10 years i dont care and i won't care about the age gap either and neither should you sweetheart!

more coming your way x

 

[AlwaysPraying]

My heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry. First, the age difference thing is just crap, it's no ones decision but your own. Forget that!

I can totally identify with what your saying about your body. It IS NOT that your body is bad, please know that! Because if what your saying is true, then it's true for me too (just poking at you that's all). Honestly though. 1 in 4 pregnancies have problems, ONE in FOUR. Things ranging from severely rare chromosome problems, to miscarriage to birth defects. When they say giving birth and bringing a child into the world is a miracle, it is just that a complete miracle!! It is incredibly complicated and has a million trillion steps that it needs to go through just perfectly to form a healthy baby. It's not your body, it's the process. I was grappling so bad with the fact that all these people walk around the world accidentally getting pregnant over and over with no thought at all, and my baby had so many problems and died! I was raging mad. To me, it makes the process that much more special and sacred. You have done it once and that means that you can, and take that to heart. I don't have kids yet and I feel that pain of thinking that my body is a hell pit where no child will ever grow properly (as I roll my eyes, who am I to give you advice?). But I hope you see what I'm getting at.

As well, I think it's ok to be mad, just downright mad at our bodies, at the world, at others for a time. It's part of the healing process, sad as that may be. But once your through that there are many more better times to come, I promise.

 

[borntobeamum]

I agree with the other girls, the age gap doesnt matter, people would say something if there is 10 month or 10 years, everyone has a comment and an opinion, the key is to ignore the ones that you dont want to hear.


Babytots - I know what you mean about your wee one and siblings, I look at Erin (3) and see how great she is with other kids and with her dolls, she "mothers" all the younget kids, just like I did at her age. I am very close to my sister (just under 4 years between us)and I would like that for her as well, to have someone to play with and share things with.

Life Sucks.................

 

[laurajo24]

oh my heart goes out to you! i miscarried on sunday and its been devastating. to have had to make the decision to terminate as well is something i can't even comprehend. i also felt like my body was against me but you only have to read some of the success stories on B'nB to realise there can be light at the end of the tunnel, even after all hope seems lost

you cry as much as you like hunny. get it all out.

as for the age gap - what a load of old bollocks! (s'cuse the language!)

there is a 16 year age gap between me and my youngest sister and we love each other to bits. yes, she sometimes treats me as one of the 'adults' but most of the time we just mess around like sisters do which includes picking on her and doing silly things together (you wouldn't think i was in my twenties!)
i also have the fantastic memories of her when she was first born. I helped to raise her and that means the world to me.

i hope you can get through this difficult time and come out smiling the other end.

sending you bucket loads of PMA

 

[soulsister]

oooh ladies - thank you sooo much for your all your kind words - you have me in tears again.

I am so incredibly sorry for all of our losses and I just hope that everything turns out right for all of us.

Thanks again

Laura