Can't Stop Crying

[Lucy529]

Had my son on Sat Dec. 7th. I was so excited to have him and finally meet him. But now I feel so guilty bc of all the things he's going through in the NICU. I had HBP but turned to severe pre-e and after not progressing with induction they decided c section was best as I thought the same thing it was getting worse.

Nothing could prepare me for this journey. I hate leaving him in there bc I'm still considered high risk I'm still admitted so on limited movements, I'm wheeled to the NICU then wheeled to my room to rest, I feel like such a bad mom bc I can barely move from the section. I feel like I failed him and hate that my body failed me

Soon I'll be discharged and staying at a house that's for people that need assistance while family is in the hospital. My hubby needs to go back to work so I'll be on my own I don't know how I'll cope, without him and having our tiny baby in the hospital.
The only thing that comforts me is that he's breathing on his own can regulate temps, no sugar issues as I'm diabetic also, the only thing is he doesn't take a bottle once he does that and starts gaining weight he can go home I know there could be worse things but I'm just upset and needed to vent

 

[aimze]

I've never been in your situation Hun but my youngest sister was in ICU...

Spend lots of time with your tiny one, hold their hand and before you know it you'll be coming home with baby xx

 

[MommyGrim]

The discharge is the worst. I cried for two days straight. We were lucky to be able to stay in the Inn that the hospital had for 5 days and then a Ronald McDonald house for the rest of the time, but I spent 90% of the day in the NICU. (The nurses kept telling me I needed to get food and sleep because I would just sit in there for hours and hours) After those initial two days though, it does get easier. I highly suggest bonding with the NICU nurses as well. I found that I worried less about the twins when they were with a nurse I knew and trusted rather than one I didn't.
Nothing is worse than having your baby in the hospital but you will get through it!

 

[shellideaks]

Aw Lucy

As you know, I'm going through exactly the same thing with Nate. It is horrible and I hate leaving him at the hospital when I go home each day. I can't spend as much time as I want to with him cos I've got the other 2 kids to think of as well. I constantl y find myself wishing that I was still pregnant, that he was still safely tucked up inside of me until he was ready to come out by himself.

You will get through it, hopefully it'll only be a few short weeks and Ivan will be home. I hope you're starting to feel better after your section too. x

 

[Lucy529]

Shelli I wish I had some kind of distraction

I was just released today and can't stop crying I'm only a block away and I feel horrible wish I could take him home. Being alone doesn't help

 

[shellideaks]

I know. It's hard knowing you've left your little one somewhere else, it feels like a part of you is missing all the time

A block away is good though, means it's much easier for you to go and visit him x

 

[Lucy529]

The roads are icy so I get security to drive me here and back you described the feeling so well I does feel like something is missing

I keep feeling my tummy waiting to feel a kick or something ugh I hate this feeling