Can't stop feeling guilty

[mnjhowell]

My name is Melissa and I am currently on day 4 in the hospital after preterm labor started. I am now just waiting as my OB says she will come any day now. I just can't stop feeling like I could have done something to prevent all of this. I can't even imagine how this is going to go and how to care for a preemie.

 

[Honeybear1976]

Its really difficult to do but try to stay as calm as you can, stress will make it worse. You and baby will be fine Im sure of that. Have they given a reason for your labour starting? I have had 2 preemies. One at 31+3 weighing 3lb 4oz and one at 34+2 weighing 5lb 2 n3/4 oz, Do you know if you are having a boy or girl? The one born at 31wks spent 28days in special care before coming home and the other spent 7days there. Any questions feel free to pm or ask on here they are all great. Take care

 

[labmommy]

Hi Hun, I'm sorry to hear you are contracting early
You have made it pretty far though, and four days in preterm labor, well each day your baby gained something being inside. It won't be easy but on the bright side you made it to 32 weeks, four days in labor...maybe you can make it to 33 now? best wishes to you and your little one.

 

[stepmum]

Oh hun.

It's an age old cliche but "these things happen". It doesn't help much but it is true, there is still no explanation for my pre-term labour.

If it helps you are at a really good gestation, I was also admitted after my waters broke and was in hospital for 3 days waiting for LO's arrival, he was born at 32+6 and he spent just 16 days in NICU. A lot of premmies are just like any other newborn, just a bit smaller..a lot of the time they have only minor issues such as learning to feed as opposed to being able to do it straight away. Some premmies do have other issues but they are usually at an earlier gestation than you are. Wishing you and LO a safe delivery xx

 

[Sam182]

You cant blame yourself. It doesn't do anyone any good. 32 weeks is a good gestation. My little man came at 27 weeks and is now home and happy. Good luck with everything x

 

[vermeil]

you did absolutely nothing wrong. We can`t always control these things. Frustrating isn`t it? Like some people eat junk food and are always healthy, others are super careful and fall sick or gain weight.

32 weeks is already very good!! The brain completes development around 28, and the lungs at 32. Your little one will probably not even need help breathing. At worst they'll have to stay in the hospital a bit to gain some weight. 'feeders and growers' they were called at my hospital

 

[Honeybear1976]

you did absolutely nothing wrong. We can`t always control these things. Frustrating isn`t it? Like some people eat junk food and are always healthy, others are super careful and fall sick or gain weight.

32 weeks is already very good!! The brain completes development around 28, and the lungs at 32. Your little one will probably not even need help breathing. At worst they'll have to stay in the hospital a bit to gain some weight. 'feeders and growers' they were called at my hospital

Oh my goodness Vermeil, just read your journal. How amazing a journey you had, I smiled through the wonderful progress those pics showed. My third baby was 1470g and he did really well too. Those pics of your little one at 7months are gorgeous, he does not look at all like a premature baby.

 

[mnjhowell]

Thank you all!! I am feeling better today and I do know that we are at a good gestation and fairly certain she will be fine if she decides to come.
They think I had a small abruption that started the labor but I've gone now 30 hours without bleeding or contractions!!! So I think I am going to make it to term
Again thank you all for the support and words of kindness. Now any advice on how to survive the hospital stay!!

 

[stepmum]

Fingers crossed bubba keeps cooking a bit longer.

The only advice I have for surviving the hospital stay (bearing in mind mine was only 5 days!) is TV cards, internet, magazines etc and yummy food brought in! Are you on bed rest or can you walk around? They let me walk around even though my waters had broken so I just went for walks, when my LO was born July last year it was freakishly warm so I spent loads of time sitting outside in the sunshine.

 

[mnjhowell]

I did get to go home today but I am still on strict bedrest. Which is much better at home LOL!!

 

[vermeil]

you did absolutely nothing wrong. We can`t always control these things. Frustrating isn`t it? Like some people eat junk food and are always healthy, others are super careful and fall sick or gain weight.

32 weeks is already very good!! The brain completes development around 28, and the lungs at 32. Your little one will probably not even need help breathing. At worst they'll have to stay in the hospital a bit to gain some weight. 'feeders and growers' they were called at my hospital

Oh my goodness Vermeil, just read your journal. How amazing a journey you had, I smiled through the wonderful progress those pics showed. My third baby was 1470g and he did really well too. Those pics of your little one at 7months are gorgeous, he does not look at all like a premature baby.

aww thank you... that means a lot to me. It`s been almost two years now and I STILL feel guilty! Though my problems were caused by a rare blood disorder that I could never have known about beforehand. Crazy how we blame ourselves! Two years and I still cry randomly - at a sad radio song, a beautiful sunset, any silly thing can trigger it.

But yes my little guy is quite gorgeous now (not biased at all here haha)

 

[Jaylynne]

I still feel guilty even 10 weeks out from delivery. I had severe preeclampsia and I know there wasn't a thing I could really do but every time I saw him hooked up in the NICU i felt like an utter shit mom. It really isn't your fault and you will most likely feel bad though. My one friend told me I just got a gift of meeting and spending an extra two months with my son and a new appreciation of the small things. It's true- every milestone is celebrated extra now.

 

[Srrme]

I felt guilty too, but there's nothing you can do. Just relax, and try to stay positive (easier said than done, I know). You'll get through it!

I felt very guilty when Elias was born (he was a 28 weeker). It was horrible seeing him in the incubator, and knowing he was uncomfortable and in pain. I felt so bad, I didn't bother taking any pain reliever after I gave birth to him, because I knew my little boy was hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it, so why should I relieve my own?

You're at a great gestation though, and hopefully she keeps on cooking!