Casually Trying To Make Joshy A Big Brother & Other Things.

[BrokenfoREVer]

I think journals are allowed in here... I hope so :/

So yeah, little bit of background since I've actually never been in the TTC sections.

So there's

Me: Karlee. I'm 21.
OH: Carl. He's 23
Joshy: The little rocker. My first child, from a prev relationship.

So, we're NTNP. I guess thats what you'd call it. I'm just trying not to over think it. I don't wanna put pressure on anything at all. So we're just leaving it to fate.

The only thing that might not be on our side here is that OH has a 'issue' I guess, in so far as he doesn't always ejactulate during sex.

But I figure when its our time its our time.

We both really want a baby. I adored being pregnant with Joshy (even if FOB did make my life hell) & as mad as this might sound, I actually enjoyed my labour & birth. It wasn't unbareable agony or anything. Joshy was born into a calm & loving environment with me & my mum there to welcome him into the world.

I can't wait that experiance that with my OH. Pregnancy is so magical & I know my OH will enjoy it with me (which will be a lot diff from FOB, who was more interesting in games then feeling his baby kick)

So...Imma wrap this up now. I will probs use the journal for vent about stuff too. So I'm sorry if it needs moving & I guess Hi to everyone I'm joining in the wonderful world of NTNP

K x

 

[Pielette]

Hi Karlee! I've seen you around the madness that is Baby Club

It's lovely that you'll get to do it a second time with a lovely man.

We're NTNP for our second as well so bring on the chaos! Good luck!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

:wave: Hi Pielette! I remember you from that madness too.

Good luck to you. Its exciting!

Well, we're on week 3 of cycle & OH came over today. So ofc occured, twice with one 'finish' & he's here til friday!

I'm currently watching him playing with Joshy & thinking what a wonderful father he is ^_^ & I know he'll be wonderful through pregnancy & birth too. I think a newborn might shock his world a little though. We shall see.

In less happy news, the clock is counting down to Joshy starting to see his bio dad again. Just waiting on a date from contact centre as to when his first app is. I'm still not sure how to feel about that yet. I guess I just have a accept Joshy's bio dad in Joshy's life, but its difficult. If anyone is interested, you can find most of the story in the single parents forum.

Also, I'm starting to think more about telling my family I'm pregnant again after a happy revalation from my mum that my whole family have been judging me & they all thought I'd have Joshy & then let my mum do everything for him.

I'm sorta hurt that they would think that about me. So god know what they will do this time. I have an idea that all support I recieved with Joshy will be withdrawn & not offered for baby 2. My family is nice like that, all supportive when I'm alone & unahppy. As soon as I find someone who makes me happy...I'm on my own. Pleasent eh?

But at the end of the day. I'm happy & you do only live once. Being a mum is all I wanted to do with my life & I don't want Joshy to grow up alone.

Right, I'm away for now, since its nearly bathtime for a certain little rocker.

K x

 

[Pielette]

I can understand why that would hurt If they're going to be like that I'd probably distance myself a bit. I had to distance myself from my dad (long story but he's a bit of an asshole, excuse my French).

Sounds like your OH will be (and already is!) a great dad! Anyone can make a baby but it takes a man to raise a child

Where are you in your cycle? I've just ovulated so am now in the awful tww. Yawn.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I think I need some distance from them all. Well I'll get it when I get pregnant. Everyone will throw bitch fits (from my side) about it & hopefully leave us alone. More likely they will jsut bitch me out about work & money & stuff.

That phrase is so true. My OH is a thousand times a better dad than FOB.

I'm nearing the end of the 2ww. I will find out next week, whether AF show up or not. I'm seriously hoping not.

Um...no really venting today. Had a nice day with OHs parents. They adore Joshy, they've adopted him lol. He has fun with them, once he's over his initial fears. The only thing I would say is that I wish OH's mum wouldn't contantly try & embarress him. There really isn't a need.

Me & OH have been discussing baby names again today. We have agreed totally on a boy name. We want to name a boy after his dad & grandad ^_^ (since baby would take my last name, so the kids wouldn't have seperate surnames & Joshy is named after my grandad) We're just struggling with a girls name. We think we've come up with a couple. Rebecca & Alexis (Lexi) I love them both, Rebecca was my first choice, but now I'm leaning massivly towards Lexi.

Although ofc we need a baby first lol.

So tonight is a night of Ben & Jerrys ice cream & disney movies. What fun. So with that I shall go.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

And sadly its friday again & my OH has to go home ): Ofc when baby 2 arrives we will be living together, but its a hassle with money & stuff for him to move in now. I do miss him so much when he not here though.

Today has be fairly uneventful. Joshy has had a bad day ): dunno if it was teeth or temper of what, but hes been very vocal today. I've wanted to rip my hair out most of the afternoon.

I ordered some pregnancy tests from ebay today. 5 for a fiver. The ebay seller claimed they were the same as the NHS uses, but I don't think I believe that. If I did get a with one of them, I think I'd rush out & buy a clear blue anyway.

But since I had to test for over a week with Joshy before I got my I figured it would save money in the long run.

I'm feeling quietly confident this month. Only 4 days til AF is due. I don't know why, but I think we might have caught this month. I just have this little feeling. So fingers crossed.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Had a fairly chilled weekend. Stayed with my mom....Ugh never again! Joshy apparently can't deal with sharing a room with me anymore, he thinks cos I'm there its time to get up & play. Poor little guy kept us both up a lot of last night ):

Took him to a farm today though....as usually my mother took over. But still we had fun.

AF is due in 2 days & there is no signs of her coming Hoping to be able to test on friday with OH & hoping for a

Getting seriously worried about telling the family. I told my mum the name we had picked if we had a boy (although ofc, she doesn't know we're NTNP) & she didn't like it, she told my grandad today, since apparently no-one uses that name anymore. (Its Brian... its not that bad!) Grandad took it upon himself to punch my arm & tell me I wasn't to have anymore children I was to look after Joshy. Like I'm not going to look after my son if I have another baby!

I can sense some rage gonna happen here. Me & OH are both agreed we're not going to tell anyone that baby 2 was planned & if anyone asks we're going to tell them the condom split. Ultimatly its our life & we can do as we like. But we wanna keep the peace a little bit. So by telling a little white lie, hopefully we can avoid mass drama. Tbh, I think my grandad still thinks Joshy was a 'surprise' & Joshy was very much planned!

Ahh well, its whatever. People with either accept it or they won't. I'm not pandering to what people think I should do with my life.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Well AF arrived yesterday. Was kinda upset yesterday, but I've got over it now. It will happen when it happens. So its whatever.

The biggest downside to AF arriving is that there is no this week. That pisses me off slightly.

But, planning to make the most of this nice weather & take Joshy out tomorrow & I must admit, it is nice to cuddle up, without getting distracted lol.

So yeah...thats whats going on with that.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

And its Friday again. & OH decides to tell me he'll be leaving at 7am next friday to go & see the new batman movie. I think thats a little OTT, but hey...its up to him I guess. I'm just sad we will only get 2 days together next week. His mother can get ready if she thinks I'll be going over there next week. Not a chance.

I really hate being apart from him. We live seperate lives & such but, I do wish we could spend a little more time together. I'm coming to hate weekends, cos I'm stuck with my mother who seems to spend her time winding Joshy & leaving me to deal with the fall out.

I really do feel like I'm gonna have to put a bit of distance between me & my family.

In terms of NTNP we're into a new cycle. So fingers crossed this month. I honestly cannot wait to be pregnant & have another baby. Joshy will make such a wonderful big brother.

But I know I'm gonna find myself (yet again) seeking & getting support from my OH's family (I did get this with FOB parents....sorta) & that really makes me sad.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Wow, I've not been here for a while haha.

Umm...there's not a great deal going on. I'm just nearing the end of the 2ww. So AF is due next week. I have no feelings either way about this cycle. So its just a wait & see exercise.

I am starting to lose it a little with OH's family though. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely & hell, I could do a lot worse for ILs. But its the little things.

Like... OH is from leeds. The whole family supports Leeds Rhino's rugby club. Okay, fine. Home yeam & such like. I live in wakefield, Josh lives with me (ofc ) & I support Wakefield Wildcats. Understandable, I thought. But no....the whole family (well, OH sorta stays out of it, unless we're alone, but thats diff) are on at me that he needs a rhinos kit & they're gonna get him this, that & the other leeds gear. & When I stand my ground & say he's a wakey lad, then some...to be honest, quite nasty stuff gets said. Like apparently its child abuse to make him support a team that never wins.

Firstly...I don't make him do anything. He will support who he chooses.
Secondly... He's a 7 month old child, its pathetic to be making such a big deal over this stuff.
Thirdly...calling it child abuse is way OTT
Fourthly...I'm mummy! I say what he wears. Back off!!

I mean, its great they've accepted us, & I'm so happy that my OH feels like he's Josh's dad. But at times like that, I really wanna pull back & remind them all, that they've only know Josh 4 months & what I say goes.

Ehh...I'm maybe over thinking it.

K x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Wow, so I've not been here for a month. But I come with amazing news! I'm late!! AF was due today & always come around 7am. It's now nearly midday.

I've been feeling sick & sleepy for a couple of days now. I think this is it!!

We're waiting on the post to see if some tests I ordered arrive today, if not, OH is being sent to tesco for a test. So we'll know one way or the other today or tomorrow.

Super excited!!! I'm 150% sure I am. I'll update once I know the results. Keep fingers crossed for us please.

K x

 

[bloominbroody]

I didn't wanna read & run.... Hope you get a Bfp! Creating a journal thread is great i may give it a go! Fx'd 4u x

 

[bloominbroody]

I didn't wanna read & run.... Hope you get a Bfp!! Creating a journal thread is great i may give it a go! Fx'd 4u x

Oops dunno how to undo quoting!! Lol sorry

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

So we did a test.



Gonna test again in the morning just to be sure, but looks like I'm heading over to 1st tri

 

[CLH_X3]

Congrats!!!

 

[Ellberry]

Congratulations to you both!! I really hope everything works out with your family brokenforever!! x