'Charging' hubby for cleaning

[lau86]

I'm having a problem with hubby not doing his share of the cleaning. He is supposed to do the hoovering and mow the lawn once a week. He does it once every 3 weeks if I nag. It's gross. I do all the washing, change the beds, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, all the general tidying up and whatever dusting I can be bothered to do. So basically everything else. I'm getting sick of it.
I work 28 hours a week (I'm on mat leave at the moment) and he works full time. I was suggesting getting a cleaner but I'm not really sold on the idea of someone else doing it and paying them.
I was gonna suggest I do all the cleaning and he pay more bills or I put less into the joint account for bills.
Does anyone else have any ideas? This is an issue that has been with us for 5 years since we started living together. Hubby is a slob and will probably never change so replies saying 'sit down and chat about it' probably won't work

 

[maryp0ppins]

My oh is the same

We got a cleaner, life is so much better!

 

[sparkle_1979]

If you can afford it get a cleaner

I was going to but I didn't want someone in my house that I didn't know

He should be cutting the grass though

 

[Natasha2605]

If you're happy enough to do it, I'd price a cleaner locally and tell your OH you'll do it but will take the same rate as the cleaner to do it yourself.

Or if you don't want to do it, I'd get a cleaner.

I do think it's pathetic that he's not willing to help out though.

 

[AP]

I wouldn't to be honest, it's just giving in to his lazy attitude.

 

[lilyd]

I would get a cleaner and make him pay for it.

 

[aimee-lou]

I use the 'can you do me a favour?' approach. I ask 'can you do me a favour?' while I'm busy doing something else, and I'll then ask him to do a job that really he should be doing anyway and say 'while I'm doing xyz' at the end.

Works every time with hubby! lol

I'm a SAHM so do 95% of the household jobs but with 3 smallies and a small house, and endless washing and cleaning up after everyone, I do ask him for help most days. It works better rather than having a roster of chores.

 

[mummylove]

My fella is the same his just a lazy twat. I know he works but that is no excuse to never do anything. Thats like saying when both work full time the house doesnt get cleaned. When u make it on ur own with a partner its equal. Sitting down talking never works im sick of talking to my oh about it. I just get sick of it and i refuse to do it sick of being a mug. I dont feel like a girlfriend i feel like a slave

 

[Pearls18]

I can't really relate as we don't have separate finances, but if you do I would expect him to pay for a cleaner to do his share of things, I wouldn't directly or indirectly pay him to do anything in the house.

I think it is incredibly disrespectful, one person not doing their fair share at home is a bug bare for me, I don't understand how someone who is supposed to love and support you can sit by and watch you struggle to get everything done in the home, I think it's a lot more than laziness, thankfully hubby and I have a pretty good balance I think, it has taken a few years and sometimes I have to write a list and divvy out the chores lol, but the main thing is neither of us feels put out, I think resentment will build if not resolved but I'm not sure paying him is really attacking the issue at heart.

 

[mummylove]

Dont see why should have to pay ur husband to help clean his own house

 

[lau86]

Sorry don't know if I made it clear, I wouldn't pay him he would pay me! I think he thinks because he works full time he shouldn't have to do anything else. I usually work 3 days but I also work some evenings and weekends so I don't actually work much less than he does. He grew up in messy house, the upstairs of his mums could be on one of those hoarding programmes. So I don't think it bothers him.
I've tried lots of tactics including 'the dust will go on to the childrens chests and make them ill' and he still doesn't seem to do it. He's great in other ways just this is a constant issue between us. I think I'm gonna have to get a cleaner and make him pay it just seems annoying as there's better things to spend the money on

 

[Pearls18]

Oh sorry I misunderstood I thought you meant pay him, him paying you doesn't seem so bad lol, but I still think it's a plaster fixing an issue, but in that situation I would probably tell him to hire a cleaner if that's the best way of keeping everyone happy, I wouldn't except money for cleaning. I'm trying to convince hubby to let us hire a cleaner though so I'm biased!

 

[jd83]

If he grew up in that type of household as you say, he's probably not ever going to change his ways with cleaning because I'm sure it doesn't bother him in the slightest. I say this because, honestly, I am kind of like that too. I'm not a slob. But dusting and vacuuming, etc are not important jobs to me, in the scope of all the other crap I have to get done in addition to working full time. So they just get done when I get around to it. Like every few weeks, similar to your hubby. I think if its bothering you that much though, having him pay you to do those jobs for him, or hiring a cleaner if you can afford to are both valid options. Honestly, if I could afford a cleaner I'd be ALL OVER that. I hate cleaning, and don't have time for it. I love the house to actually be clean, I just hate wasting my time to get it that way, lol.

 

[Pearls18]

DH cleans up after dinner (I cook) but it annoys me the way he leaves until the end of the night, so I've hidden his iPad and left a note to say he can have it back when it's tidy (I'm upstairs feeding DS2 for bed) it's all in jest of course but the clanging downstairs sounds promising