Co-sleeping "You're making a rod for your own back"

[Dream.A.Dream]

I might actually hit my mother the next time she makes a comment along these lines.

I'm getting so fed up of it. She had me in a cot in my own room by the time I was 4 weeks old. No matter how many times I point out that the guidelines recommend he stays with me until 6 months she just won't let it go. Apparently he'll never sleep alone, will be in my bed forever and I'm making it impossible for other people to ever babysit.

She's only ever had him overnight twice anyway so when it's that little it wouldn't bother me if she just refused to have him anyway! She even emailed my OH today to say he should tell me to put Edward in his cot as I'm making life difficult for everyone.

AAAARGH!

 

[jen1604]

Push her over.

No not really.I'm obviously not encouraging violence towards your mother.But ognore her.Its not up to her.Do what feels right for you x

 

[Char&Bump-x]

My mum is EXACTLY the same! I've taken to just telling her to but out now cos it really is nothing to do with her. I'm trying to get kyla into her cot now, it's not going too bad at all and she is one next week, it's not impossible so carry on with whatever you are comfy doing!

 

[x-li-x]

that would annoy me to hun, ive had a few people say the same too me, but i just ignore them,and tell them im happy shes happy i like it she likes it end off, i do sometimes get so annoyed i have to take a deep breathe so i dont snap, but at end of day its our choice what we do, there not the parents. i would just say to your mum, well if you think its a problem dont babysit, then hopefully she might be quiet x

 

[Dragonfly]

Well co sleeping now 18 months and everyone gave up saying stuff. The disapproving shakes of the head we got and how we would never get him out was all we got. but I have faith he will when he wants to, they say theirs wouldnt get out but they never started co sleeping they done it when we where a few years old and scared to be in room on own. My son hasnt slept in a room of his own, he isnt clingy like they say he is either! they have no idea. I just get on with it, we enjoy it, he sleeps and all is well.

 

[Rebaby]

Argh people are so annoying!

He's a baby! It's not like he's 15 and still tiptoeing into your room and clambering in with you in the middle of the night

I really feel for you as i hate fending off people's (unwanted) opinions about things that have nothing to do with them

Have some hugs

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

The trick is to try and ignore ppl's 'opinions' - especially those who do not know what they are talking about.

Edward is you and you're OH's baby. Raise him how you see fit and keep doing what you feel is best. To hell with everyone else

 

[ohmybabybump.]

i agree. just tell her to butt out. if it works then it works. if she doesn't like it then she doesn't have to baby sit.

 

[dom85]

My Mum was the same even though my youngest brother was in my parents bed on and off until he was 5 and there's nothing wrong with him. I just said to her that it's my rod and my bloody back. Brady slept in my bed from about 4 days old until he was 3 months when I moved him to his cot as we had stayed at my parents over Xmas and he had to sleep in the travel cot and he was fine.

 

[leighbaby]

I wish family would keep their views to themselves unless it is asked for. It causes the most uneccessary disagreements in my family.

I think most of us get grief for things hun, you're not alone!

 

[Serene123]

I heard that so many times, now at 2 she sleeps 12 hours in her own bed. IN THEIR FACE!!!

 

[faun]

I co-slept with my oldest till he was nearly 3 then he asked for his own bed and slept in it fine no problems with my daughter i co-slept for about 14 months then she went straight into a proper bed no problems and Billy like his own space when he sleeps so at about 6 months he went from my bed into his cot but he still comes into my bed if he wakes in the night. I have had no probems with my children due to co-sleeping in fact i think it has helped make them into the well adjusted children they are now. Do wha you want and don't let anyone's comments get you down or question your judgement. I got loads of nasty comments with my oldest as 10 nearly 11 years ago it wasn't such a common thing and i got called allsorts

 

[leighbaby]

Just to add - I think it depends totally on the child whether are clingy etc or not...Until I was about 6 I used to HAVE to go to sleep in my parent's bed and then they'd move me to my own bed...just for me to sneak back into theirs some nights. I was incredibly clingy to my mum. I have three brothers and none of them behaved like I did so I think it depends on the child (the old nature vs nuture debate!)

 

[trumpetbum]

I just said to her that it's my rod and my bloody back. .

Exactly.

 

[Mrs Muffin]

We got some right disapproving looks when we went to stay at in-laws when they found out we co-sleep. Darwin's sleeping so much better now so they can sod off. Mind you FIL told me I should leave him to CIO as I was just reinforcing his behaviour

 

[Dragonfly]

wasnt as bad as my parents surgesting locking my son in an empty room when he cries so I can have some ME time and that he would be ok in there. I codlnt get my head around it, what if he fell and apparently they said he wouldn't, why would I leave a toddler who was crawling at that point locked in a room on its own with nothing? this was our spare room they meant as it just had a few bits in it. Do him no harm crying it out in a lonely room they said,. No wonder i am how I am anyway ! and no wonder I dont get along with them and never bonded with my mum because she coudlnt be arsed either with me. All this stuff with "done you no harm" well it did clearly. I hate that answer!

 

[ellie]

Yeah, you awkward bugger, you're really inconvenencing everyone else in the world
I know sometimes itrs really hard to ignore the constant snipes and comments!
I'd get your OH to ignore the email if I were you ... no sense in getting into any discussions about it. I tend to make it very clear that MY parenting is not up for discussion in any way!! (unless I invite it that is!) I'm just waiting though for certain family members to start giving me this one as K gets older (I've already had my 5 year old nephew saying things like 'I was in my own room when I was his age, why isnt he in his own room yet, when will he be etc' - guess where he's getting that from!!)

 

[ellie]

I heard that so many times, now at 2 she sleeps 12 hours in her own bed. IN THEIR FACE!!!

 

[jms895]

I still sleep with Caine and I have had these comments from start he sleeps 12 hours straight through now every night I love it

 

[BeccaMichelle]

Wow... I hate having to deal with people saying that sort of thing but it must be 10x worse if it's your own mother. I've wound up just not telling people what our sleeping situation is. I just kind of nod and change the subject. My mother on the other hand is so much like me that she's so supportive of everything I do. I sometimes forget how lucky I am until I read posts like this. *HUGS* You're doing what's best for you and your baby! Your mother had her go, it's your turn now.