wookie130
Momma to H, O, & C
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2011
- Messages
- 13,471
- Reaction score
- 30
So, I'm sure this is the 100,000th thread like this on this particular forum, but I guess I'm just really a nervous wreck these days. I am 34, and have suffered a missed miscarriage and a natural miscarriage within a year. I have no living children. I am now 5 weeks pregnant...and I find that my boobs hurt a lot less than they did a few days ago. I had my betas drawn 12dpo and 14dpo, and they went from 114 to 261, so they more than doubled. That should have comforted me a little, and I do get an early ultrasound two weeks from today, on the 30th. The problem is, is that I'm afraid I won't even get to that point. I'm on obsessive knicker-watch, and totally expecting there to either be an empty sac on that screen, or a baby that's been expired for quite some time like my first. I know people say that symptoms come and go...but I find myself a little obsessed with the new absence of breast pain.
These early days come and go so slowly, it isn't even funny. I wish I could just speed up the clock and the calendar, and make it be the 30th already. I completely had a meltdown in bed last night, because I started crying and telling my DH how afraid I was about this new pregnancy. There isn't a whole lot that calms me down when I feel this anxious you know? I'm afraid to pump myself full of hope, only to have it shot down yet again at my OB office.
Damn PARL. It really does a number on the pysche, huh?
These early days come and go so slowly, it isn't even funny. I wish I could just speed up the clock and the calendar, and make it be the 30th already. I completely had a meltdown in bed last night, because I started crying and telling my DH how afraid I was about this new pregnancy. There isn't a whole lot that calms me down when I feel this anxious you know? I'm afraid to pump myself full of hope, only to have it shot down yet again at my OB office.
Damn PARL. It really does a number on the pysche, huh?
