Confused .....

[littlepeps]

Im just slightly confused ... My OH and I had an 'accident' last year but that pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. We decided after that to try properly for a baby .. we are now a year on and havent had any success so we are guessing that its time to go and get things sorted out out by the Dr. as I was diagnosed with PCOS in my 20s..... and Im not getting any younger, Ive just past my 35th birthday !!

The thing that is confusing me that Im not too sure if I now actually want a baby .. I have a very full filled life .. I run my own business and have an active social life and My OH and love each other dearly ... Im thinking that wanting a baby was a reaction to loosing one I hadnt planned but then I think I should because of my age and my Pcos situation I need to be getting started before its too late !!!! .. ohhh confused !!!!

I really need to be making my mind up ... have you ladies any advise ???????

 

[Natsby]

Wow that is a tough one. Is your OH sure he wants one? If neither of you do then maybe it is better not to pursue it to actively, a life without kids can be fantastic and once you have one you can´t ever go back. I don´t know what I would do if I were you, but I´d love to get off this merry go round that is ttc and I wouldn´t put myself through it all if I wasn´t sure. Give your self a few months to think about it, yes you don´t want too much time to pass if you want to be a mom, but a few months won´t make a difference. I hope you decide soon if only so you can stop worrying about it.

 

[NorthStar]

Hmm well for myself my partner really wants one, and it's a now or never situation for me, but if I could guarantee that I would still be fertile in 5-10 years time hmm, there's still stuff I want to do with my life, you know?

I don't think I'm ever going to be overcome with maternal instinct, put it that way, my partner is a very involved uncle and I see qualities in him that would make a good dad, I also see my mum pining for a grandbaby.

Whilst I quite like older children (say 5+) I do find babies pretty tedious, and none of my friends have really had any kind of a life whilst having really small children.

Does this help in any way littlepeps, we could start a "TTC for people who dont really like babies that much" thread maybe?

 

[dachsundmom]

Hmm well for myself my partner really wants one, and it's a now or never situation for me, but if I could guarantee that I would still be fertile in 5-10 years time hmm, there's still stuff I want to do with my life, you know?

I don't think I'm ever going to be overcome with maternal instinct, put it that way, my partner is a very involved uncle and I see qualities in him that would make a good dad, I also see my mum pining for a grandbaby.

Whilst I quite like older children (say 5+) I do find babies pretty tedious, and none of my friends have really had any kind of a life whilst having really small children.

Does this help in any way littlepeps, we could start a "TTC for people who dont really like babies that much" thread maybe?

Omg, I thought I was the only one, lol! Give me a toddler & I'm good to go, babies are another story. I used to refer to my DD as "the newborn baby blob" lol. It's how I figured out I wasn't meant to be a SAHM.

I've never had the maternal instinct, but I love my DD! It's other people's kids that I'm hiding from, lol.

 

[Butterfly67]

Maybe the best thing is to go and get looked at by the doctor and see if there are any problems - if the doc suddenly says to you that you may not be able to have a baby naturally then gauge your own reaction to that. If s/he says that all is fine then maybe you can hold off for a bit until you are a bit more sure.

I don't think there is ever a right time tbh but if you are not really that keen then maybe hold off for 6 months or so and see how you feel after that.

 

[NorthStar]

Hmm well for myself my partner really wants one, and it's a now or never situation for me, but if I could guarantee that I would still be fertile in 5-10 years time hmm, there's still stuff I want to do with my life, you know?

I don't think I'm ever going to be overcome with maternal instinct, put it that way, my partner is a very involved uncle and I see qualities in him that would make a good dad, I also see my mum pining for a grandbaby.

Whilst I quite like older children (say 5+) I do find babies pretty tedious, and none of my friends have really had any kind of a life whilst having really small children.

Does this help in any way littlepeps, we could start a "TTC for people who dont really like babies that much" thread maybe?

Omg, I thought I was the only one, lol! Give me a toddler & I'm good to go, babies are another story. I used to refer to my DD as "the newborn baby blob" lol. It's how I figured out I wasn't meant to be a SAHM.

I've never had the maternal instinct, but I love my DD! It's other people's kids that I'm hiding from, lol.

Classic, you are one of us dachshundmom.

Well there you go, just be a mom that doesn't like babies all that much -no one ever said that be a mom you had to love ALL children, just your own?

 

[Natsby]

I teach kids and I don´t like some of them, children are just like adults, some good some less so, they are just easier to figure out which as they don´t know how to hide it yet. I´m guessing I´ll love my own...at least until they become teenagers then I´m shipping them off to live with oh´s mum, she can rule with a rod of iron.

 

[dachsundmom]

So I get to join the club? Where's my fancy membership card, lol. I might have mentioned it somewhere, but I am an only child & grandchild, never babysat a day in my life, & never wanted to. The first baby I ever held was DD. Lol. When I say I'm TTC again and even took Clomid, my friends just look at me like I just said I planned on eating my young, lol.

I am the person who is good w/ her kid, not good w/ kids. If that makes sense.

 

[Indigo77]

would your OH be ok without a kid?

 

[littlepeps]

would your OH be ok without a kid?[/QUOTE

Yes he would love kids, he is brilliant with kids and I think he has more maternal instinct than me !!! ... and another factor is that he is an only child which is adding to the confusion because I dont want to deny him a family.

And i do have to agree that you should have the option of being having a child that is past the toddler stage .!! lol