considering FF full time

[lysh]

I have been struggling with a low milk supply since the beginning. My DD is 3 1/2 weeks and I think I am just struggling with it all. I had big hopes and dreams of EBF for one year and then DD was born and it ended up being complicated. I had to combi FF and BF and struggled to get my supply up. The stress was getting to me, so my pediatrician and I decided that I would just continue to combo feed. I do not know if it is the blues setting in, but I am starting to get really stressed again with the whole BF thing. I tend to be hard on myself and I feel guilty, but part of me wants to stop completely and just FF. However, my DD loves to BF. She is use to a bottle, but there are times she refuses a bottle and wants to BF for comfort. I feel so bad because sometimes it is the only thing that comforts her. She feels secure BFing. I feel like I just want to be on a schedule and this combo thing is making me crazy. Plus of course, when she takes formula she is gassier and I feel guilty about that. UGH

Sorry, had to vent- I am just feeling overwhelmed and confused. And if I did decide to stop BFing, how would my almost 1 month old understand why mommy wont let her at the breast? I know she will cry for it and I will not have the heart to deny her.

 

[Sarachka]

Big hugs to you!! Your post could have been written by me a few months ago. I was struggling, hating it, but not sure if I wanted to move on fully or not.

Do really really think about whether or not you want to move totally to FF as it would be very hard to go back on that decision once it's affected your supply.

Just take it one feed at a time. Tell yourself "OK this one will be a breast feed, I'll make my mind up about the next one at that time" and just go easy on yourself.

If you do move over, do not fall into the trap of parental guilt. All we can do is what's best for US, which is you AND the baby.

I kept going for three months, having introduced a FF at 6 weeks at night. She's very happy and healthy and she is content with her bottles.

 

[Toes_crossed]

Totally agree with PP.

I had trouble with BFing but I was lucky enough to be able to do it exclusively until 3 months when I started combi feeding due to going back to work.
I'm glad i stuck it out for the 3 months however I felt a massive stress relief when I finally moved over to eff, although I miss the closeness of bfing.

Are you bfing first then topping her up with milk? What has the Dr suggested for getting your milk supply up?

xxx

 

[lysh]

Thanks ladies....I am trying to think to myself "just for today" and that seems to help. Well originally, the doctor wanted me to BF her, then top her off with formula, then pump. Once she started gaining weight, he wanted me to wean her of formula....only give her formula every other feeding, then every two feedings. WHen we got to every two feedings I started to stress out. She always seemed hungry and would gulp the formula down when I finally gave it to her. She was also incredibly fussy ALL the time. Being a first time mom, I freaked and decided I was starving her. I was getting so stressed out about it that I felt like I was more obsessed about my milk than I was with bonding with my daughter. At that point, the pediatrician and I decided to just stick with combination BF and FF. Once formula is added it is hard to wean off....it is doable, but I do deal with anxiety and I think that just tops it all off. If things started out differently, I might have been okay.

I went to a BF support group and debated hiring a lactation consultant to see about going EBF full time. However, I am currently undecided about what stress I am willing to put myself under. I want to do what is best for my daughter, at the same time my emotions are a bit tenuous right now. So I basically swing from wanting to EBF and give it another shot to wanting to exclusively FF. Or I could just continue as I am. It is hard doing combination because I feel like I can never get a 'hang' on anything. I feed her as much as I can with just breast until her cues tell me, "mommy I need more". That is stressful too!

Anyway, I am rambling. But yes, I am going to take it day by day.

 

[lozzy21]

Can i ask why you think you have low supply? From what you have said so far it sounds like normal newborn behaviour?

So many women regret giving up BF but i dont know one what regrets not stopping.

 

[lysh]

lozzy- At the beginning she lost more than 10% of her body weight and was becoming dehydrated. By day 5 of her life, she started peeing salmon colored urine with crystals. My pedi said that was a sign she was also dehydrated and I needed to, at that point, supplement. Believe me, I was devastated. Before LO came, I was determined to BF for a year. I had my pump (have to go back to work at 4 months) took a breastfeeding class, read books, got a DVD.....then all of that happened and it completely threw me off.

After she gained her weight back and we tried weaning her off, it could have been normal newborn behavior or it could be my milk was still struggling. In my mind, she was starving and I was not making enough milk. As a first time mom, it is hard not to panic over everything, especially since I do have anxiety. I probably should have seen an LC as soon as we tried weaning her off. Right now I am just at the "I am completely overwhelmed' stage. Yesterday was a bad day....LO was up ALL night, I was going on 1 1/2 hours sleep, and everything seemed complicated. Today I feel a bit better, so I am just going to take it day by day. I will go the BF support group again this week and see what happens.

You are right though...my biggest fear is giving it up and regretting it because once given up it is not easy to get back (especially if I struggled at the beginning).

 

[lozzy21]

I totaly understand how you feel, i had a nightmare time but managed to combi feed untill she was 4 months old when she refused to latch alltogether.

I would really recommend seeing a LC, even if it is just to help calm your anxiety. In your comfortable suplimenting every other feed then stick with that for a while. Baby will guzzle the formula because its easier to get than BM, it doesnt mean your starving her, she just doesnt have to work to get it.

 

[lysh]

Yes, the LC is at the support group. I should just call and make a private appt. At least with combi she is getting some breast milk. Day by day!

 

[Toes_crossed]

Bless you, sounds like you had a rough time to start with.

Yeah I would definitely make an appointment with the LC. I was lucky as I was in hospital for 3 days I had a midwife to help me alot with the early feeds. Then my health visitor was great with the advice.

I know for me, I started to stress she wasn't getting enough and it ended up affecting my let down. I had a very strong let down and LO would often choke in the early days. But when I started to really worry and stress about stuff my let down was very weak and my milk supply definitely seemed to decrease.

Who knew it would all be so stressful eh

You're doing great xxx