Crazy things you said in labor??

[winterbabies3]

So I was going over in my head of what I said during labor and feel quit embarrassed now that it's over...what were some things you girls said while in labor or pushing baby out?
I said:
*WTF, multiple times
*A few other swears
*Told my pregnant nurse to get an epidural
*Told my doctor not to effing touch me
*And my favorite, My croch is falling off...ugh

Make me feel better girls, what did you say?

 

[jessmke]

When the doc was sewing up my tear I told her I didn't want a "frankenvag". Then I told my hubby by vagina was getting "refurbished".

After labouring for 24 hours I told everyone in the room to be quiet because I think I need to have a nap. The nurse looked at me and asked how I was going to nap while having contractions every minute or two and I told her I was pretty sure I could just ignore them for a while. Yeah, that didn't happen.

 

[winterbabies3]

frankenvag!!!

 

[MindUtopia]

I don't think I said anything embarrassing in labour. Actually, much to everyone's surprise - my own included - I was incredibly pleasant and polite in labour. I am not on the whole a meek and mild and overly polite person in real life. I mean, I'm really nice and kind (I'd like to think), but when I do get upset, I have a real temper and I can be really mean. It takes a lot to make it happen, but when it does, it's bad. I'm also very direct and bossy. My husband joked he was going to make me write apology cards to the midwives in advance that he could hand out when they left to say sorry for what a you know what I was! Actually, when it came down to it, I was quiet and very polite. I had a home birth with no pain relief at all, but I was really calm, no shouting or swearing.

The only really funny thing that happened was after my daughter was born (we had been team yellow), I went to look to see what she was and even though I was obviously staring at a vagina, I was so in shock and exhausted that my brain couldn't actually tell me what I was looking at. I scooped her up, looked between the legs, stared for a bit, and then was like, "WHAT IS THAT?!?!" I seriously had no idea at the time if it was a penis or a vagina! My midwife was like, "um, she's a girl!". I think they must have just thought I was really dense.

Oh, and I also told everyone afterwards that next time I was having a c-section. I had a totally lovely home birth, but I was so tired at the time that I was like, "I'm never doing that again. Next one's a c-section. I don't have anything left to prove next time!" (Needless to say, definitely having a home birth again next time if all is healthy, it was wonderful, but that's just how delirious I was at the time).

 

[pinkpassion]

I love this thread...

During my labor with dd aft 13 hours and no progress they plugged me in to pitocin and after 3 hours of pitocin pain I was desperate for some relief. The nurse gave me stadol much to my dismay.. I still swear to this day I was walking around in a field of wheat looking for my L&D room and I kept telling dh to get the nurse because I wasn't breathing I really thought I wasn't breathing!!!

When I was in for the c-section I could feel everything, EVERY cut.. and a nurse had to push my daughters head from inside my vag while the dr pulled her out. I could feel my daughter wriggling wildly and I started yelling at them to stop because they were "squishing her head and she didn't like it" I literally demanded them to stop right now when that didn't work I decided it would be a good idea to start pushing so I could deliver her vaginally even though they already had me all cut open and dh said my insides started coming out and that's when they knocked me out and put me on general anesthesia. I'm sure I was quite a handful and it's kind of embarrassing now to think about but I mostly blame the weird drugs they gave me, I was delusional and I'd been up for 32+ hours and was exhausted!

 

[winterbabies3]

pinkpassion, your csection story is intense, I think I would have freaked too! And this is exactly why I made this thread! It's crazy how our bodies react! I am usually very well reserved, quite and never put myself out there, so when this happened it was very embarrassing! Glad I'm not alone and can't wait to hear more crazy stories!

 

[broodymrs]

I said many crazy things but the one that makes me chuckle as when I was having my Epi (I was 2 days into labour by this time and full of a cocktail of drugs) I tried to distract myself from having a giant needle in my spine and a hubby who was almost passed out in the corner, so I started listed all the foods I'd missed while pregnant, then told everyone in the room how to prepare the perfect Camembert!

 

[pinkpassion]

My labor/delivery/emcs was very intense and traumatic with dd! Hoping to have a smooth uncomplicated FAST delivery this time and vbac hopefully!!!

 

[winterbabies3]

My labor/delivery/emcs was very intense and traumatic with dd! Hoping to have a smooth uncomplicated FAST delivery this time and vbac hopefully!!!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!

 

[littlefishygg]

I was very polite, saying please and thank you constantly. But I remember being very amused by how deep my voice sounded to me when I started having gas and air so was going 'luke I am your mother'

 

[Misscalais]

Hehehe!
With my 1st i was convinced i was dying during transition ( my labour was 41 hours all up and i was absolutely spent by the time he was born ) i stood on the bed completely naked and told them all i was going home i grabbed the student Dr by the hand and growled at him to "cut this thing out of me right now" i cringe just thinking about it. I dis apologize to every one after over and over again. He delivered my 2nd and i was much more polite that time.

 

[NDH]

All my funny stories are from my first labour .
I was very vocal, and I remember telling the midwife at one point that I sounded like a dying goose. She asked me how I know what a dying goose sounds like.
Then I had been trying not to push for 2 hours because my MW said I wasnt dilated enough but my body really needed to push (I should have just let it lol) which was excruciating. A few times I hadn't been able to help myself and pushed and I would tell her "I'm not pushing, I promise. I'm just pooping a little bit"
And then when her head came out after 2 1/2 hours of pushing and she told me to stop pushing I asked what was wrong. Looked down and saw the back of her head, but as she had been posterior all labour I had been expecting to see her face so I freaked out and asked what was wrong with her and why she didn't have a face.

 

[winterbabies3]

Lol!! Thanks girls for the laughs!!