CSA have suspended my case

[Dezireey]

I had a call from CSA today. Basically because my ex has gone out of his way big style to avoid paying child support, there is nothing they can do. He has no known address, no employment. He is playing the game. So unfair, seriously. I think CSA are crap. He is not a member of MI5, he can't be THAT clever, so frustrating that I will never see a penny from him. It won't get me down in the long run but on the other hand, I just think that as long as single mums just don't get the help they need off the government, men like him will just keep getting away with this. If it's too much effort to trace them, they don't seem to bother. Now, if he owed taxes to the gov, I bet they could locate him swiftly in half an hour and get payment off him next day.

Rant over. Ladies, make sure you get as much info on an ex who won't pay child support as soon as you can.

 

[Meezerowner]

That's really annoying. Like you say if it was taxes they would find a way to trace him pretty sharpish.

Do you have no way of tracing him yourself at all or his family? It can't be that hard for them to find him surely. He is either working or claiming benefits either way. Will you accrue arrears even though they have suspended the account?

I was lucky with mine as I literally had all the info on FOB. The CMS guy on the phone nearly fainted when I said I had his National Insurance number too.... I figure that's a rarity when people claim.
Ironically it didn't help my situation as FOB ended up in prison but hey ho .... one day.

 

[Dezireey]

My ex is a whole different ball game. For starters he dropped the bombshell when I was pregnant that he was already a father ( great thing to keep from your girlfriend!) and he had obviously been avoiding CSA, so is a dab hand at it. He is self employed with a company that I can access online but it does not show his name on it or link him to it. I think he has found another mug of a woman and is bumming off her and living in her home. He is seriously evading responsibility in a HUGE way.

But hey ho, I wouldn't want to live my life like he does. He probably owes thousands now for the other kid and for me, so he will probably do this all his life. Crazy really, what would a man rather fork out money on? His kid? or bills or owing taxes? You would think they would avoid the lesser of those evils.

I have little information on him and to be honest it would mean going into full on stalker mode and doing something drastic like wait outside his girlfriends office and follow her home! I just think that goes too far lol!

I just hope he is still having a crap life, cos that is all that creep deserves.

 

[tallybee]

Wow, the lows that some "men" will sink to never ceases to amaze me!

 

[baileybubs]

I'm sorry hun that sucks. Its so ridiculous that some men can get away with this. I get annoyed sometimes that it seems to be so acceptable in society that a father can just walk away from any responsibility like that.
My ex sees my kids for 4 hours a week if he can be bothered, pays me money when he feels like it (I'm contacting CSA this week coz I've had enough) and yet according to his parents I am being a cow coz I am making him travel all the way to where I live on the train (a 40 min journey) to see his kids because I refuse to drive them to him when he doesnt give me any money and constantly cancels to let me and the kids down!!

 

[Mummy1995]

They're absolutely incompetent! I made my claim paying £20!! In September. They know where fob lives, his number, where he works and the hours he works and yet i still haven't seen a penny!!

 

[taylor197878]

my ex sees the kids but still refuses to pay anything towards them csa also have problems getting him even though he is on esa and claims benefit. i dont talk to my ex all did through lawyers but a did say to him a few weeks ago to start paying and he told me a claim money for them so there for he doesnt have to pay he is a joke,

he also have the time breaks his agrement on the days he is supposed to see them coming up with all sorts and the best of it is while he claims refuse to pay towards his kids he works and claims of the goverment then he walks about as if he is the best dad in the world...

 

[Dezireey]

But then I guess, in reality, we are the lucky ones. We have these gorgeous children and have no guilty conscience that will eat away at us for the rest of our lives ( I mean these men who don't see their kids must surely wonder every now and again what they look like, what kind of people they are etc) kids turn into adults eventually and having a son or daughter in the world that has your back is a total family bonus. They won't have that and they only have themselves to blame.

 

[baileybubs]

Yep ultimately they are the losers in all this aren't they dezireey? One day they'll look back and wonder why they didn't be more involved.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm sorry to hear that. What a crappy situation.

Have you considered hiring a PI?

 

[Dezireey]

I have actually thought about that because it's so frustrating because I have enough information that would probably enable a PI to get results in a day! But it's too expensive, I am a student at the moment and can't afford the fees. CSA practically force you down a 'stalker' route when they can't be bothered to dig deeper,they even encouraged me which is a bit wrong I think.

 

[Ceejay123]

How stupid! Argh. The system is messed up! X