DD2 being picked on....?

[petite ping]

DD2 came home from pre-school yesterday with a HUGE bruise on her forehead.

The teacher hadn't noticed it straight away because she has a fringe but even with the fringe it was pretty impressive.

Apparently (though she wouldn't say in front of the teachers) one of other kids pushed her and she landed on her head.

when I spoke to her teacher the next day, he said that the boy in question was extremely violent though he has calmed down. He was in DD2's class before but he changed classes - I think that he reacted strongly against the male teacher. The school put a specialised teaching assistant with him during playtime to limit his violent behaviour. I believe the school is putting him through a behavioural programme of some sort.

Nevertheless, her teacher told me that DD2 is this boy's preferred target and that she is scared of him so when he comes out to play she tries to avoid him as much as possible.

DD2 is a bit timid and rather self contained. She does not really fight back and she doesn't go to the teacher if she has a problem. However she would often say that the boy pushed her though I dismissed it as rough play in the playground - feeling a bit guilty now though.

Whilst I am impressed that the school is doing so much to keep the boy in the education system despite his behavioural problems, I don't know what to do to help DD2. Though I think she is ok with agression from other kids but when this one kid who targets her attacks her she doesn't know what to do.

The teacher said he would speak with the teaching assistant to see if something happened. OH is for teaching the "little toad" a lesson.....How do I teach DD2 to react so that she doesn't become this child's whipping boy for the next few years.

 

[6lilpigs]

Oh no I know its extreme but is another school an option? When head teachers see people voting with their feet due to bullying they usually take even more steps to keep the aggressive child under control. I hope shes ok x

 

[BunnyN]

Just thought but maybe take a picture of the bruise so you have a record incase you want it after.

 

[laura109]

Omg bless her heart. To be honest if he's targeting your daughter they should be with him outside at all times or he shouldn't be outside. Your little girl shouldn't have to be a target at such a young age too. I would find it hard to send my daughter Into that setting. It's hard to know what to tell her other than to avoid him or stay near the teachers. I hope if it doesn't stop they remove him. Not fair on innocent children at all xx

 

[petite ping]

I think I'll ask her to stay near the teachers even though the little boy in question has a teaching assistant who is assigned just to him in the playground so that he doesn't go after other kids.

I will ask that she be kept apart from him when they assign new classes next year.

DD2 is, as I said, self contained, so it's hard to know if something is a problem or not. She would say ' so and so pushed me' pretty much in the same way as 'I'd like toast for tea please'.

I do try to teach my kids to avoid violence but also not to accept persistant aggression from someone. I tell them that I would prefer to be summoned to school because they fought back that than them going to school afraid. But they are little girls and fighting back isn't really in their nature.

 

[JessyG]

In all honestly I don't think anyone adult or child should just accept violent or aggressive behaviour in work or school regardless of the person's behavioural issues. I would be telling the school that clearly what they are doing to prevent this is not sufficient if he has been able to quite forcefully push your daughter to the floor and that if it happens again you believe it would be in both their best interests that he be removed from the class.

Your daughter has equal right to play freely as that boy has for inclusion.

I have had to tell my daughter on numerous occasions not to accept pushing shoving hitting biting etc. She is to walk away and say no you do not get to hurt me and go and tell a teacher. In all honestly I would happily take the phone call of 'your daughter has hit a child in self defence' than have her afraid or scared of going into school. Like yours however, hitting it just not in her nature.

I hope this is resovled for you. I know i would feel quite upset thinking my child was being targeted like this.

 

[petite ping]

I sat down with DD2 and had a serious talk with her.

It is clear from our chat that she is very afraid of the boy - normally she is rather exhuberant at home with lots of pee pee and poo poo jokes (self contained and exhuberant, what a paradox) but as soon as I started talking about him she went very quiet and serious.

She showed me what happened with her teddies - he tackled her from behind and her head hit the ground. The teaching assistant was on him directly and pulled him off but did not stop to see if DD2 was OK. It was one of DD2's friends who went to find a teacher when DD2 was crying.

I asked her to play near the teacher in the playground on the days that the boy is there. Apparently as his behaviour was so difficult, the school only lets him come twice a week. I also told her to push him if he pushed her and to tell me if something happened again. We even practiced a bit of pushing.

I asked DD1 to keep and eye on DD2 in the playground and if the boy started picking on her, to either help her sister out or if she didn't feel up to it - go and find a teacher.

I am a bit shocked by the violence of it all. I will have another chat with her teacher.