Depressed after baby shower

[emeraldbaby]

Today I had my baby shower and while I am happy to have support, I couldn't help but feel really down after it. All the other mums have husbands and fathers for their babies. And returning home to a empty , quiet apartment after it made my loneliness even more real ... Have been crying ever since.
Even though my marriage wasn't good and I know my baby and I are better off , its still a loss i am struggling with. I wish I could just snap out of it and not wish things were different. I have a lot to be thankful for, this baby is the most wonderful blessing.... I just want to experience the joy to the fullest without interference. Just needed to talk, thank you for reading.

 

[Jennifurball]

This is something that upsets me too but friends and family remind me, just because they are in a relationship, it doesn't mean they are happy, even if they appear that way. There are so many people in loveless marriages who are together purely for the kids and it must be so much more of a miserable existence than being single and having many options ahead in the future.

Keep your chin up, things will get better.

 

[emeraldbaby]

Thank you for your response.
I do feel guilty when I get sad because I know I have a lot to be grateful for.
You are right, there are many unhappy marriages out there... Better to be single with hope for the future than trapped in a unhealthy marriage. My baby will get my full attention.

 

[Mummy1995]

This upsets me too. I feel guilty that my baby won't have a 'proper' family upbringing. But Im sure they would rather have a separated mummy and daddy than a mummy and daddy who were together and always arguing. Hugs xxx

 

[whatwillbe]

I know the feeling Hun, I'm not having a baby shower but when I go to baby shops and see happy couples together it is a horrible reminder of me being pregnant and single, hopefully this will pass though, once baby arrives you will be too busy to feel lonely x

 

[emeraldbaby]

Thanks ladies. Helps to know others understand.
I think you're right, when the baby comes I'll be too busy to dwell on it too much. I just don't know how I'll be after the birth in hospital... my ex not being there and associated emotions.... Im scared of getting ppd
I know the baby is going to have a much better life now, than if we had stayed with the father, I just got to keep reminding myself if that instead of being sentimental about families with a Mom and dad.

 

[Jennifurball]

I don't know the extent of the problems in your relationship but mine were bad. He was a big drinker and even bought a bottle of vodka as he was going home to get me some spare clothes as my waters broke as I was dressed. Then I had to spend the night in hospital with Scarlett and he went out to get drunk and called me all night telling me what a good time he was having.

Having them there isn't always good you know. You will surprise yourself at how strong you are when it comes to it.

 

[emeraldbaby]

I hope so.
My marriage consisted of a lot of 'bad times' which were always blamed on me, and some rare good times that allowed me to hang in there with denial and hope.
When I got pregnant it was a huge wake up call. I couldn't allow my child to be treated like i was.
But it does suck big time because for me marriage is a lifelong commitment that you work at. I just didn't know what I was marrying till it was too late. But that being said I don't regret it for the simple fact that I have my precious baby now. I just want to be the best mom possible.