Despondent and ready to quit

[Beanonorder]

My son is 8 days old and I'm already ready to quit! I was so determined to get it right this time but everything has just gone wrong.
I have a low supply and one side produces much less than the other. In hospital he lost more than 10% of his birth weight, gained slightly the day before we left and then lost more once we got home. He went over 24 hours without peeing and pooping so I really was left with no choice but to give some formula. I tried to avoid it once we got home but more weight loss and hardly any peeing led me to introduce it again.
His latching is terrible and I'm in so much pain.
I saw a lactation consultant earlier this week and she checked for tongue ties and said there were none. She helped me make some adjustments and afterwards it really helped. I was only sore on one side and the pain began to improve and I could feel him sucking better. But now I am in pain on both sides and I feel like all I do the whole feed is unlatch and relatch, trying to get him to open his mouth properly. At least once a day I spend two to three hours on a feed. I have a toddler too so it's hard to do this. Plus I'm already feeding him every two hours.
I'm trying to pump in between the frequent feedings to build up my supply but again, it's not easy to find the time and often just adds to the pain.
I feel like there is something wrong with me! I had basically the same situation with my dd. I fed her til 7 months but started combi feeding at 6 weeks due to failure to thrive.

 

[apple_20]

I don't know if I have any more advise to give you but just wanted to say you are doing great. Bf is hard to begin with and it sounds like you've had multiple problems. If you persevere it will get easier it's great having milk on Tap no sterilising or bottle making. But if you can't find a way to make it work don't feel bad if you stop. Trying to express on top of long bf sessions and making bottles AND a toddler? I wouldn't be able to do that.

I guess you have to weigh up what the benifits are compared to the amount of stress/ effort it takes. It's still so early though!

 

[Laurans]

Hi beanonorder! Would like to give u answers, but instead I can tell u I understand how u feel!
My baby is 9days old and was born a lot bigger than expected (8lbs8 at 38 weeks ) born by c section which was great but not the hypnobabies birth I worked so hard towards!
He failed to latch and I stayed in hospital 3 nights, the last night was by choice because he was failing to latch! On the 3 rd night a midwife told me that because someone had wrongly given him 30 mls top up formula on the first night that I would need to produce this every feed!
I spent 1 hour producing 0.3 ml of colostrum so reluctantly and with sadness agreed to bottle feed in order to be discharged home!
The upside is since getting home my milk came in and for a few days I was flooded and even got baby boy to latch with a nipple shield (have u tried one?) but.... Now he is needing 90 mls plus per feed I can't keep up! He also lost 9.5 % weight!

Sooooo I'm going to say to you the things I wish someone would say to me! ......you are doing your best! You are trying to give your baby the best start possible even when the easiest thing would be to open some formula! It is not that you are a failure...even when it's so tough you are still trying your best to do what you think is right! Hats off to you, you are doing that all with a toddler! This baby is my first and I still struggle to find the hours in the day!

I'm not going to say don't give up breastfeeding just don't give up doing what is best for you and your baby! ( and your toddler I guess!)
We have already made it to day 8/9 so our babies have benefitted already from breast milk!
Good luck x

 

[Beanonorder]

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.

Laurans I'm sorry to hear you are also having a hard time. You are doing your best! And that is a great job! I also ended up with a c section after having a very different plan. I'm OK with it though and glad he's here safely.

Thankfully I have my parents here to help. If I haven't gotten things sorted by the time they leave I will probably just have to carry on supplementing. But until then I'm going to try my best to get back to just breastfeeding. We have our two week appointment next Thursday so I'll see the lactation consultant again then too.

 

[Laurans]

Yeah I feel the same, my c section actually ended up being a pretty good experience! The recovery is a bit harder though!

I see your in china! We live in Switzerland but instead of having our parents coming to help us there we came back to England for a few months!
Iv started fenugreek capsules today so will see if that helps me to increase supply!
Good luck with everything xx

 

[noon_child]

Do you have the support of anyone who could show you how to hand express? It can be a lot more gentle on your breasts if they are already sore, or you can use the pump when the milk is flowing freely then once no more is coming out, hand expression can often release those last few thicker mls that the pump can't reach.

I had a similar issue. Advised to feed, feed, feed but how can you when you have to keep up latching and re latching, or baby keeps slipping off? I took all the support I could from organisations such as LLL and NCT, and local bf support groups. No matter what someone says about your latch from the outside, if it is painful then it is not right, but you can't be expected to know how to correct it by yourself. Something you could try would be laid back breastfeeding as it often gets a deeper latch.

Have you had LO suck on your finger? When she does, does she cup it with her tongue, or does she clamp on it with her gums?

Do your nipples come out of a feed squashed or slanted shaped?

 

[northern_me]

Have you taken fenugreek and blessed thistle? It is the combination of the two that is supposed to be most effective.

 

[Beanonorder]

Northern I haven't tried taking anything yet.

Noon_child I did try laud back feeding but his nose got squashed every time he latched so I gave up.
I got him to suck my finger and sometimes he cups it with his tongue but a lot if the time he just clamps down with his gums. Sometimes my nipples come out looking squashed.

I'm seeing the pediatrician on Thursday so I'm going to ask him to check again for a tongue tie.

 

[mrsclt]

My boy was squashing my nipples into the hard palate of his mouth causing vasospasm in my nipple. I had three midwives who helped me to breastfeed and showed me how to latch, it wasnt until the third midwife noticed my nipples were too 'short/flat' to reach the back of his mouth that I realized why even latched well it was hurting. I now use nipple shields to feed him and the pain has pretty much gone. You can try them, see if it helps at all. You dont have to always use them, sometimes they are good just to let your nipples recover a bit. Try not to stress, you are doing your best and if it means you end up combined feeding, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the stress of trying to exclusively breastfeed with so many obstacles outweighs the benefits. All the best to you and bub