Dh wants to ttc.... I'm unsure!

[fxmummyduck]

My dh is away in Dubai until Sunday night, but I've been getting a lot of texts from him about ttc when be gets home...I'll be really close to Oing then too.

I know he wants to go for it, and a Christmas bfp would be amazing (AF due boxing day! Or just after depends how this cycle goes, could be new years eve if I O a bit later)...

So why am I so unsure????

I set the ttc date in May and have got used to that in my head.

My sils wedding is late July.

My friend is struggling with infertility, I feel like she needs a bit longer with things...

We're moving in Jan.

Is dh just going with his heart and not thinking this through? Am I thinking too much? Should we just throw caution to the wind and see what happens?

Arghhh I'm not sure!!

 

[krissie328]

I am right there with you. Dh wants to try/ntnp. And I'm just not sure I'm ready. Some days I say screw it and just want to go with it. Other days I just about have a panic attack about the idea of another.

I decided since I am the primary caregiver that and I'm not ready. So until I am we aren't trying. We do have a few accidents but really we have low fertility and haven't got pregnant yet.

In another camp if it's meant to be it will happen.

Yay for bipolar posts! I'm sure I was no help.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Lol!! Yes, pretty much how I'm feeling!! I think if I just went for it I'd wake up the next day having a panic attack! Just not sure I'm ready...

But then the other day I was soooo broody!!

I might add we fell pregnant first proper month trying (the month before we started to ntnp and then my Grandma died, so I Od late and we'd stopped doing anything) so if the same were to happen again... Then again it might not happen quickly again, I'm older now!

 

[krissie328]

I definitely have really broody days. I've been having a lot since I held a newborn the other day. But I am trying to remember we need to get some things sorted before having a second. Those help me stay focused.

We were ltttc with ds. We conceived first round of clomid. So I am holding onto that as we wait. I'm hoping we have the same luck next time. I'm hoping either February or May.

Dh is afraid I will change my mind about having a second one. I'm pretty sure that is why he has been so persistent the last 13 months!

It does sound like if it happened you wouldn't necessarily be upset. I'm using that to gauge readiness. If I did get pregnant I'd still be a little upset. So I'm hoping it doesn't happen quite yet.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Hmmm, yes good point...I don't think I'd be upset, I think I'd freak out a little. I just don't want to feel rushed...ridiculous, I know, my lo is two! But back in September, it was a definite NO, I'm not ready. So I've come a little way since then getting my head around it....but that was because May/June seemed quite far away lol!!!

 

[MindUtopia]

I don't think you should rush into it if you feel like you aren't ready. You really do have to be sure. On the other hand, I don't know if any of those things would personally make me want to delay things if otherwise everything else was okay. There will always be weddings and you wouldn't be ready to quite pop by July, so you wouldn't risk missing the wedding because you were in labour. I'd probably rather be 2nd trimester/early 3rd going to a wedding than in 1st and vomiting in the bathroom the whole time! Honestly, I also wouldn't plan my life around someone else's infertility. You can be supportive without putting off your own plans and I don't think a true friend would hold that against you. But if you want a bigger age gap, I do think that's a legit thing to wait for. Our daughter will be 4-4.5 before we have another and personally I do want a larger age gap. Maybe not quite that large, but our TTC is delayed because I need to work and travel for work next year (I don't want to risk being hugely pregnant and going into labour alone in another country). If there is nothing huge though in the way and you do genuinely want another soon and your relationship and finances are solid, then there's no harm in trying a bit sooner. But I think you have to be sure before you jump into anything. Do you think it's just the distance of him having been away that is making him really keen to get moving on things? Maybe once he's back things will calm down a bit?

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thank you... Yes I hear you, I'm wondering if I'm just using them as excuses to wait because I'm still not ready. Although as for my best friend, I'd love to see her ivf cycle end in a bfp before I tried again, I don't know why because we're so close she'd be happy for me if I was to be pregnant again.

Anyway, as for the age gap, I didn't want to get to a 4 year age gap, so 3.5 gap still gives us a bit of time.

Relationship is more or less solid, we've had our problems since lo but are in a good place, and healing now...

Dh has been asking to TTC since the summer, so I don't think it's the being away. That just seems to have made things more concrete in his mind.

I am however, having some other personal issues I haven't touched on here (they're in another thread) am I allowed to say that...

I think the fact I'm doubting it all means I'm not ready. I was 100% sure with #1!

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I was in a similar situation last year. Hubby had been ready to start trying for another and was so looking forward to another monkey to chase around, but I still had my doubts. I went off birth control last September in preparation, but panicked and made him wear condoms/pull out because I just wasn't ready. This summer was the complete opposite and I *knew* that it was time to start trying for another, and I haven't had a single regret since getting that second line at the end of August.

So trust your instincts, and if you feel like you need to wait longer then don't feel bad about it. You have valid reasons to support it, and pregnancy is hard enough without all kinds of doubts and worries on top of the regular pregnancy ones!