Did anyone start out BF and quit?

[writingislove]

My daughter is a month old and I'm considering quitting BF and switching to formula. I have undersupply issues, my baby has had a hard time BF since birth due to a short frenulum, and now we're battling thrush, which causes her pain while nursing and has damaged my supply even further.

I'm always worried about her getting enough to eat. She never seems fully satisfied until she gets a bottle. I feel like we'd both be happier and healthier if she was exclusively bottle fed. Yet society puts so much pressure on us moms and I feel guilty for wanting to stop so soon.

Did any formula moms here start out BF and choose to quit? I'm looking for advice and support as I try to decide what's best for my family.

 

[felix555]

I did. My baby was admitted to hospital I think it was 2 days after we were home ... dehydrated from my supply issues. Still tried to breastfeed in hospital, when I got home and even weeks later but it just never worked. Saw a lactation consultant, went to LLL meetings, hired hospital grade breastpump ... all in vain.

I realised that it was ruining my time with my baby, I was so stressed about it and switched to formula exclusively, i really can't even tell you know when that was exactly maybe at about 4 weeks it must have been.

Best decision ever.

My son is now 3, He has been sick maybe 3 times his whole life. Even when all the kids at creche are ill he's not, when he does get sick it's a very mild case and he's over it quickly. We have an incredible bond as I spent the first two years of his life as a SAHM and I wish I knew then what I know now I would have stocked up on formula before my baby was born and enjoyed those first days instead. He would have been formula fed from birth and would not even have had a drop of breastmilk.

Formula feeding for me was the best and I wish I never attempted breastfeeding. Breastfeeding in my opinion is highly overrated (from my own viewpoint) I think now about how bad I felt about formula feeding and I think how stupid that was because let me tell you now that I have a 3 year old I realise how little what you feed your baby in the early days actually matter. It doesn't even register on the things that I think make me a good or bad parent.

Good luck with your decision, base on how how YOU feel, how your life will be if you FF instead of BF etc not what others think.

If you continue to breastfeed .... then you don't have to worry about scrubbing bottles. That is about the only con of it!

 

[Diannam]

I started out breastfeeding. I quit rather early. 3 days in, I was not coping well and my baby suddenly refused to latch. Now that I am a stronger person I wish I had not given up so soon.

You've given it a month though, much longer than I. If it is hurting your relationship with your baby it might be best to switch or you could try to combi feed.

If you feel you can try for longer go for it. I am someone who deeply regrets stopping so soon. I of course wouldn't know if these things work, but have you tried supplements like fenugreek?

Either way you decide whatever makes you and your baby happy is the best choice.

 

[Misskitty10]

My situation has been very similar to previous post and I 100% feel the same!!

My first dd I intended to breast feed I tried so bad but she would just thrash around and I kept telling the midwives who were coming out how much I was struggling and how worried I was she wasn't getting enough milk in her and their response was basically that she would be absolutely fine and DO NOT top her up with formula! I did however top her up with small amounts as I just felt I was starving her!!
Anyway, on day 4 she was admitted to hospital initially for another reason but once there she was weighed and had lost so much weight that became the main concern. My baby was in A&E after having a convulsion and I found myself being whisked off by a nurse to go to another part of the hospital to find a bloody breast pump!! I was in a daze and then she was really struggling to find one and time was getting in and I had the realisation and snapped what hell am I doing here with you trying to force me to pump breast milk whilst my 4 day old baby is in A&E having a million tests including a lumber puncture for suspected meningitis?!?!?!
I put my foot down and decided to formula feed!!! Best decision I ever made!!!!!
My baby was guzzling and putting on weight like there was no tomorrow she was back to her birth weight in no time and I felt so relieved I was able to know much she had drank each feed!!
One happy baby and one happy mummy!!
Also like pp said..my lo is now 4 and has been at nursery full time since she was 8months old, she is hardly ever ill compared with so many children in the nursery! I manage the nursery so am fully aware of how often some of the kids get ill!

My second dd is almost six weeks now and I intended to bf the first 3 days to give her the colostrum but she ended up being born with an infection due to my waters breaking early so was in scbu for the first three days! I expressed the first couple of feeds but then she was restricted to glucose and then restricted to 27mls per feed so I just ended up formula feeding pretty much straight away.

Sorry for the long reply lol I'm very passionate about how I feel about the bullying I feel goes on in regarding to breastfeeding and how strongly I feel that breast is NOT always best!!
What is best is that your baby is being fed! That your baby is happy and that you are happy!
Here is a great article to give you reassurance
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/m...Breastfeeding-wars-is-breast-really-best.html

 

[MindUtopia]

I didn't really choose to quit, my milk just dried up despite everything I tried. But yes, we breastfed for 10 weeks and then switched to formula. My daughter like yours had a short tongue (I'm assuming that's what you mean by a short frenulum, rather than a tongue tie, as those you can get clipped). She also had some other structural issues in her mouth which made it difficult for her to latch and she was born early term (37 weeks) so didn't have a strong sucking reflex either and it was a challenge to get her to eat anything for the first month. I also have flat nipples to top it all off. I had no idea any of these things could even happen, so was totally unprepared for how to try to work around them (we saw loads of midwives, HV's, breastfeeding counselors and they also struggled to get my daughter to latch). The end result being that she had a lot of weight gain issues because she just couldn't eat very effectively and I tried expressing to see if I could up my supply and was expressing 6 hours a day in the end (6 whole hours!). But literally I was getting drops and then finally nothing no matter what I tried. So we switched to formula.

I don't regret it at all and I feel like under the circumstances it was the best possible decision. She still struggled to latch and feed from the bottle until about 5 months, but because we didn't have to deal with the supply issues that her latch caused, it meant she was able to put on weight because I could always make an unlimited supply of formula. For us, it was the best possible decision, even though I'm glad I chose to BF her when I did and I'm proud we made it 10 weeks. But ultimately, yes, I'm happy with how everything turned out in the end. I never had anyone make me feel bad for formula feeding and I know there are people out there who will say things, but I do think that is the exception rather than the rule. Most of my friends BF their babies until they were 2-3+ and same for many of the groups I went to, but everyone was supportive. If anything, I got more negativity from medical providers for trying to BF because my daughter struggled so much. They would have much preferred that I'd switched to formula much earlier than I did and were quite unsupportive of my choice to BF (When I was at the hospital and asked for help with her latch, I had one midwife storm in, literally slam a glass bottle of formula down on the table, and tell me, "all my kids were formula fed and it was good enough for them, so it will be good enough for yours" WTF?).

I think if you want to BF and you can and you aren't in pain and you just need more support and you can get the thrush cleared up, hang in there a bit longer and get to a BF group or counselor to get some extra help. But if your heart's not in it, don't feel guilty about stopping either. I do plan to BF my 2nd (I feel like, different baby, different situation, no reason to assume it wouldn't work), but I have a lot more confidence next time to know when it's best for me to stop if the same issues develop again, because I know it will be okay. It was definitely the best decision for us. If it's the best decision for you, then trust yourself. Whatever you decide will be what's right for you and your baby.

 

[prettybirdy27]

We combo feed. When LO was born, I was bound and determined to exclusively breast feed her no matter what. Then she was born and I didn't have any colostrum. It took a day for me to produce any, and then another week after that for my milk to come in. So from day 1 we had to formula feed.

For the first couple weeks of her life, nursing hurt so bad that I would dread her waking up because it meant I would have to nurse again. the pain, plus her being at it for 45 minutes at a time, started to stress me out. So we moved more and more to formula.

After a couple weeks, the pain started subsiding and I tried nursing more and more, but no matter how long I'd let her be at it, she would never be satisfied, ever. So we had to follow each nursing session with a bottle. It got to the point where feeding her was basically all we did.

Then, when she was 12 weeks, I had to go back to work. I started taking regular pump breaks at work, which was impossible for me to do when I was home with her. This had both a positive and negative effect: the increased pumping greatly helped my supply, but since she was being given bottles all day at daycare and rarely breastfeeding anymore, she completely forgot how to latch. The last time I tried breastfeeding her was last weekend, and she just couldn't get it - she was sliding all over the place, milk was running all over her face and down my body, she was getting frustrated, I was getting frustrated, we were both getting soaked. So we just sort of gave up on breastfeeding. I do feel a little guilty about it and definitely miss the bond and special time I had with her. But now Daddy and other people can give her bottles, I can sleep through the night, and honestly we are all happier. So all in all, she still gets at least 10-15 oz of breastmilk a day, but the rest is formula, and that's just what works best for us.

 

[writingislove]

Thanks for all the insight, ladies. It's helpful to read all of your experiences.

I have worked with multiple LCs and things did improve with the help, but never enough for me to EBF, especially not now that the infection has caused these extra issues. There's a BF support group at my hospital every week, so I think I'll go next week and see how I feel afterward. Maybe going each week will help matters. If not, at the very least I can say I did absolutely everything to try and keep going.

 

[Rach79]

I lost my mind breastfeeding, the most important thing is a happy mummy and baby and doing what is right for you all as a family. If I could go back and introduce the formula sooner I would in a heartbeat. I knew in advance I would have supply issues and was so determined to do it, ruined the first 14 weeks of our little family. Still have huge guilt about it. I was fed until 2 myself and I have multiple health issues and loads of allergies. All down to the genes!