Do you...

[BlueHadeda]

...keep strictly to the recommended age for movies, video games, tv programs, etc.? Or do you go accordingly to the child's personality and what he can cope with or not?

And what about books? Do you let your child read whatever he wants, or do you first read it yourself, or do a bit of research on every book?

 

[River54]

Yes, we've always pretty much stuck to the recommended age for movies. Until dd was about 14.. Then we did research on movies on why it was rated and if that was something she could handle or not...obviously no 18A movies...for her, but some R movies were rated that way for stuff she could handle. This was for movies we all watched...
Imdb.com has a parental section for most movies, so you can judge why it was rated that way, and decide if it is something they can handle or not.
Books or games we buy her, are within her age rating.

Books, internet tv shows, you tube videos, movies watched with friends etc, was left up to her judgement. I explained what was and was not allowed/viewed in the house as a general rule, but that she needed to use her judgment on what was ok and what was not for everything else. I haven't had a problem with this open approach.
She'll let us know if when we start a movie for Friday night movie night, if she doesn't think she can handle watching it (and dd is now 16 and she did that the other day), so, we stop it, and pick something else. No judgement/fuss.

 

[RachA]

We do at the moment but then mine are only 3 and 5. But we do plan to stick to that for some time to come. As they hit their teens i am more likely to vet something first and then make a decision but then i will probably do that before as there are some PG films that i wouldn't be happy with my 5year old watching now. I won't ever take my children to see films at the cinema that they aren't old enough for.

Books i will more than likely have a look through first too.

 

[alicecooper]

TV programmes and films I censor yes. For TV programmes, they only watch kids tv channels, or occasionally cookery programmes, or house hunting programmes (like location location location), or game shows. Nothing else is allowed. At least not at home anyway (MIL has things like Big Bang Theory on, or Hollyoaks whilst they are at her house, which bugs me because I don't think it's appropriate for their age, but I can't say anything as the kids are at HER house after all. I don't think they pay much attention though).
Definitely no MTV or anything like that, and nothing like Jeremy Kyle.

Computer games we stick to their age ratings.

Internet - DD is only allowed on her laptop where she is supervised. She does not go on youtube at all unless I myself have put on a video for her to watch. She goes on sites like nick jr, or zoobles website. That kind of thing. So yes she's monitored on that side of things.
DS1 has a tablet pad but he doesn't go online with it, he just plays games.
DS2 has no access to the internet at all.

Films - only U and PG allowed, EXCEPT for the fact that DD and DS1 have seen Jurassic Park (which I think is a 12? And DS1 has seen Spider-Man which is a 12.
I'd have preferred them not to have watched them but it was DH who insisted. Gah.

Books - they only read kids books anyway. DD's fave are Enid Blyton books, so quite a lot of words/ high level, but nothing whatsoever that's inappropriate for her age.

Songs - I don't like them listening to anything that has swearing in it (if I put a CD on in the car with a song that has swearing in it, I either skip past the song if it has a lot of swearing in it, or I turn the volume right down when the swear word is sung, and then turn it back up again afterwards).
I also don't like them listening to anything with strong sexual references. So for example S.E.X. by Nickelback just gets skipped past when the kids are in the car.
Mild sexual references I don't mind as long as I know the kids won't understand what the artist is singing about (if you know what I mean).

 

[Vickie]

TV & films yes I generally keep within the age guidelines and go by what I feel like she can handle. Mostly she just watches a program or two on Disney Jr. after school. Rarely she'll pick out a movie on the weekend to watch.

Books I tend to stick with children's books. I don't always go through them before hand but if I'm reading them to her and I feel it's inappropriate I change the wording Of course now that she's starting to read on her own I'll probably start to go through them more beforehand.

Games she doesn't play often.

Music we listen to her music in the morning (kids songs). and we listen to our radio station in the afternoon.

 

[suzib76]

For the most part yes. There are one or 2 games which have been allowed but I'm talking playing a 12 when 11 that sort of thing.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Thanx for the replies everyone! I started to feel like I must be the only parent that supervises what my kids watch/read/play. My SIL allows her 4-year old to watch CSI with them!

We pretty much do what everyone here describes. I even sensor the children channels too, not allowing them to watch anything without me giving the go ahead first. I find some cartoons very inappropriate at times and don't like that level of violence for 3 or 4 year olds. My 12-year old can now watch most of it without his siblings.

Alice, I also find it difficult to put rules in place for when they're at grandma's. We did ask them to please not watch news while the kids are around, because it was upsetting them. FIL thinks we're overprotective. We live in a very violent country though, and I'd hate for them to feel unsafe when there's so much of it on the news.

I do allow my 12-year old now to play games that's listed until 13. But 16 and 18 rated we still keep away from him. My 9 and 5-year old can only play age appropriate.

I just have a problem with books. My 12-year old reads thick books now, that I can't just quickly page through (especially difficult on the kindle). I'm not sure what's appropriate and what not for him. He started the swords of truth series, but I stopped it after book 2, because it seems to get violent and sexual. He's now busy with the Eragon series, and before these, he read the harry potter series. But he really want to finish the swords of truth.

Vickie, I also used to change the story books' wording, when there was sadness or violence I didn't like. Then, they started to read themselves and exclaimed how much different the stories suddenly are to how they knew it.

 

[Vickie]

SoT is an amazing series but yeah I don't know that it's appropriate for a child of that age. The violence gets worse and there is one book in particular where there's a lot of violence and a rape that I just don't think would be appropriate.

They are fantastic books.............but for an older age group IMO

 

[alicecooper]

I just have a problem with books. My 12-year old reads thick books now, that I can't just quickly page through (especially difficult on the kindle). I'm not sure what's appropriate and what not for him. He started the swords of truth series, but I stopped it after book 2, because it seems to get violent and sexual. He's now busy with the Eragon series, and before these, he read the harry potter series. But he really want to finish the swords of truth.

For the most part I tend to buy DD books that I read myself when I was her age, because I know what they contain. So Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis etc.

I admit it's harder for newer books though that weren't around when I was a child. The first Harry Potter book came out, for example, when I was 11. I've read that one but I've never read the rest (though I've seen the films) so it's hard to judge whether or not they'd be a bit much for her.

I read Amazon reviews of books a lot if I haven't read the actual book myself, to see what other parents are saying as to what age-range it's appropriate for.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Thanx, this helps alot! Vickie, I certainly would not want him to read a graphic rape scene. So that clinches it for me. He'll just have to accept and wait a few years.

Alice, I've read all the HP books, but to be honest, I/we weren't ready for our son to read it before this age. The last books got a little more violent and at points really pulled at the heartstrings. We didn't think he'd be able to cope. But I see loads of people letting their 8 or 9-year olds read it.

Problem in my situation is that our first language isn't English. I've only read in my home tongue until I was 16. So it's difficult for me to know what English books are okay. But reading Amazon reviews is an excellent idea, thank you! I'm definitely going to do that from now on. Oh, and yes, he read all the Roald Dahls he could get, but for some reason isn't interested in chronicles of Narnia?! I'll check out Enid Blyton, thanx.

 

[River54]

Do you have a book store near you? The book store near us has sections for young adult and a section for 12-14 etc. Pretty easy to ask them as well what is appropriate.

Also, you can check goodreads.com and look at synopsis and peoples reviews and see what genres people have placed the books in to get a good indication.

Maybe he'd like Percy Jackson & the Olympians, or Maximum Ride series.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Do you have a book store near you? The book store near us has sections for young adult and a section for 12-14 etc. Pretty easy to ask them as well what is appropriate.

Also, you can check goodreads.com and look at synopsis and peoples reviews and see what genres people have placed the books in to get a good indication.

Maybe he'd like Percy Jackson & the Olympians, or Maximum Ride series.

Thanx, yes, there is a book store not too far from us. Good idea, I'll have a look in there. And the website! Thanx for that, and the possible book ideas, definitely going to look at those quickly. We have an upcoming holiday and I don't know what he can read next. He has just started the 3rd book tonight of the Eragon series. (I could've sworn he only started book 2 two nights ago?!?!) This kid is reading me out of the house! Not sure if I'll get any time on my kindle this holiday. I guess it's time to consider a 2nd kindle, LOL.

 

[SerenityNow]

I'm pretty strict about sexual content but not too concerned about violence or bad language.
I mostly go with the recommended ages for movies and we don't watch much TV and what we do watch, we watch as a family so I can turn it off if it isn't appropriate. I was pretty shocked when my eldest was in 4th grade and told me that everyone in her class loves Glee and Family Guy. These would be 9 and 10 year olds-- not the target audience!

Books I just can't preview because my kids read so much! If it is intended for kids or preteens I trust that there won't be anything racy, if it is scary I leave it up to my kids to stop reading. My 12 DD year old reads a fair bit of "adult fiction" and thankfully my mom reads about 200 books a year so usually if I ask her about a book she'll have read it. Right now my DD is reading the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series. She doesn't care for fantasy books which really cuts down on the selection!


I use the commonsensemedia.org website a lot.

 

[Brightstarshi]

I go by personality.
my yongest is very sensitive,he needs light andf fluffy.
my older child is very grown up,so I will let him watch films if he feels he can handle it.
nothing horror,he is 11 and very much into fantasty.
we dont have any horror in the house.
inspiring,awesome movies only x

 

[seoj]

I do both. If there is ANY questions as to whether it's age appropriate (more so my child appropriate)- I read it first, or wait till someone else has who can advise etc... movies too.

With my SD- who's almost 16, there are plenty of kids in her school that watch and read things I find way too much for them (and her). I know enough about movies, TV and book to know what we feel is appropriate for her personally and what she can handle. She has watched some 'R' rated movies- ones that were scary, but not too sexual for example. I do think kids are bombarding with SO much sex and violence- just on normal TV and commercials today- not at all like it was when I was a kid. They kind of become desensitized to it. Which I don't want my daughters to be. So I always keep that in mind with what they watch/read.

 

[pinkie77]

I'm most strict on games ratings, DS would love to be playing all the sweary gun-slinging violent xbox games but I'm mean we also don't have xbox live because I hate listening to my nephews language when they're on it. Their mum seems to think it's ok as long as they don't use language away from there!

Generally, my son is allowed to watch most 12 films (he'll be 12 in July) and my girls 15's (16 and 14). My 14 year old watches films very subjectively though as she's doing film studies at school and makes her sister ff through anything she considers too 'sexy' (which is anything more than a kiss lol, boys are still yuk!)

Books, my oldest reads everything and anything. I've read most of what she has but mostly cos we have similar taste, though I used to use the 'need to check it first' rule to make sure I got first read. DD2 likes factual books and stuff about ww2 or biographies so sometimes maybe not 'desirable' content but it's real. She also reads the newspaper most and I wouldn't censor that. Son's not into reading much, wimpy kid is about his limit atm!