docs are predicting a premmie

[youngmum2b]

Hii all, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this here, if not could someone please tell me where i can post it.

Basically docs are predicting my lil boy to be born prem as I've basically been in labour for the past 2 weeks. Im currently 29 wks.
Thankfully my cervix is controlling itself to the point where it would seem its able to close itself back up, baffling docs.

My question to you all is how did u cope not being able to hold/bond with your babies, n what did u pack for them to wear if able?

 

[Marleysgirl]

Hii all, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this here, if not could someone please tell me where i can post it.

You're in exactly the right place Please feel free to read through our stories and ask any questions.

My question to you all is how did u cope not being able to hold/bond with your babies, n what did u pack for them to wear if able?

In my case, I had Andrew by c/section just before 8pm and was in recovery for an hour after that; then all I wanted to do was sleep! I knew that seeing him for the first time (29+1, 1lb 6oz) would be traumatic for me and I have to admit, I was happy to "put it off" until I could be wheeled down to NICU the next morning. I knew that he was in the best hands. Because he was so prem, I had no expectations of holding or bonding with him immediately, I knew it wouldn't be possible because of his fragile state - I was psycologically prepared, in a way. My OH was with me when he was delivered, and he got taken into the side-room after Andrew was ventilated, he got to touch Andrew's hand and take a couple of photos.

I didn't pack anything for Andrew to wear. I knew from the growth scans that he'd be tiny and would be in an incubator, they only wear a nappy in there as it's heated. So I had plenty of time to think about clothes - he actually started wearing Unit clothing in lb size, and I didn't swap him onto our clothes until he was in nursery and needing the next size <5lb.

 

[AP]

Hey hun
Read a bit of your updates. 29 weeks is great hun - I know, you're prob not thinking that just now.

Its likely, if its in the next two weeks, baby wont be wearing clothes Take a prem suit just in case, but they will normally have some clothing there. Otherwise Mothercare do a prem range now.

I couldnt hold Alex (27+4) right away, but, the nurses will encourage you to touch baby, feed (whether it be tube fed to begin with or not) and change nappy. These are really really special things and will help you bond.

First cuddles are amazing too - this can happen a few days after birth, depending how LO is. dont worry about not bonding because you will, its a natural thing. I became over protective and i wouldnt let anyone but OH cuddle her.

ETA: Marleysgirl is right though - some people arent so keen to rush and see LO right away because you know they are in the best hands. It was a strange feeling, I didnt 'mind' too much.I waited until someone said i could go see her.

Best thing you can do now, is pop things into the hospital bag that YOU need, because LO will be covered in the hospital.
And if you are goingto express, which most prem mums do to begin with, get a breast pump for home

 

[youngmum2b]

I know he'll be in good hands, im just worried about the fact i havent been told anything about what would happen if i didnt make it to term, atm docs are happy to deliver him at 32-34 wks if i get that far, but they still expect him to be in the nicu for 3 months, although consultants have already said theres nothing wrong with him.
So far hes measuring in to weigh between 3-4 pounds n hes on the larger side for his gestation but that should go in his favour (or so i'v been told) + i've had the steriods to help mature his lungs (at 1st they refused to give me them as my cervix wasnt dialating).

I've already been told if i do go into labour a c-section would be my safest option, but then i wouldnt be able to go see him untill i could walk unaided n if it was past 8pm by that time i'd have to wait till the next day + theres no where for me to stay at the hospital n the nicu has visiting times which the parents have to abide by aswell, which i think is wrong

 

[youngmum2b]

Double post

 

[Marleysgirl]

Ask questions and check all that out - phone NICU yourself if necessary. Delivery ward & community midwives don't always get their facts right with regards to other hospital areas!

I was pushed along in a wheelchair by a hospital porter.

And the only non-visit time for parents on our Unit was during Doctors rounds (an hour morning & evening). I know one Mum on my post-natal ward was trying to establish b/feeding and she was down there at 3am!

 

[AP]

Our neonatal had strict visiting times too....but they always told me to come up whenever I wanted or phone whenever I wanted.

 

[youngmum2b]

Ask questions and check all that out - phone NICU yourself if necessary. Delivery ward & community midwives don't always get their facts right with regards to other hospital areas!

I was pushed along in a wheelchair by a hospital porter.

And the only non-visit time for parents on our Unit was during Doctors rounds (an hour morning & evening). I know one Mum on my post-natal ward was trying to establish b/feeding and she was down there at 3am!

I've rung the nicu at my local hospital n asked some questions about what would happen n was transferred from person to person none of which i could understand as they all talked so fast it sounded like gibberish n no soon as i asked them to slow down n repeat it they huffed n said they had better things to be doing then playing games n would transfer me again.
Although i do know if im not happy with the level of care hes given or if im kept out of the loop on whats happening then im demanding him to be transferred to london st tommys. Cos i know full well he'll be given round the clock attention n i'd be able to stay with him.

God i sound so demanding. Hope evryone understands that i just want him to get the best care possible n so far it would seem thats outside of my local hospital (thankfully i have family i can stay with if it comes to transferring him to london.)

 

[katy1310]

Hi

As SB22 says, 29 weeks is a good gestation. I only reached 27 weeks and by baby was 1lb 13 when she was born. Ever single day that LO is inside you makes a difference.

I didn't get to see Sophie for 24 hours after she was born, as I was really ill when I had her - I was one hour away from organ failure. DH got to see her a couple of hours after she was born and he brought me a photo of her.

I had to wait 3 weeks for the first cuddle, but much as I was longing to be allowed to hold her, I knew she was far too little and fragile and needed to be kept warm and safe in her incubator. At the time we somehow got through the whole thing on autopilot and it affected us more after we got her home....just thinking about all the stuff we missed out on.

Sophie was in neonatal for 12 weeks. It was a tough time and an emotional rollercoaster but we actually found that it was harder during the 2 weeks when we knew she was going to be coming but didn't know how early. Once she was here safely it was much easier.

Re clothes, Sophie wasn't in any clothes until she reached 4lb and went into a heated cot. Our unit provided clothes.

As SB22 said, our unit had strict visiting (we were in the same one) but let parents in any time really. When I was still in hospital after having her and i was expressing milk for her, they encouraged me to take it down to the unit personally through the night and go and say hello to Sophie. After I was home, DH used to deliver the milk in the morning before work and that was before parent visiting time really started.

Good luck and I hope LO stays inside a bit longer....

xxx

 

[Marleysgirl]

God i sound so demanding. Hope evryone understands that i just want him to get the best care possible n so far it would seem thats outside of my local hospital (thankfully i have family i can stay with if it comes to transferring him to london.)

This is good.

Be strong, be demanding. This is your baby, and you make the decisions. Sometimes hospitals can forget this small fact, they get so caught up in their own procedures. Ask questions, ask again if you didn't understand or don't like the answer. Take nothing for granted. Insist on what you want.

I advise this to everyone! As an example, while Andrew was in nursery (the final room of NICU) his notes got annotated with "ready to transfer". For some reason, the staff had got it into their heads that he/we were under a different PCT and could be transferred back; when in fact, we were in the correct hospital for our home address (and given the other hospital's reputation, there was no way I'd let him go there anyway). I told the nurses it was wrong; I told the doctors it was wrong; I even told the Sisters it was wrong. I then got very distressed when the notes weren't corrected, and ended up shouting at the NICU Matron to get everybody to acknowledge the mistake. They couldn't transfer him without my consent anyway, but by'eck, they were trying to do so.

So stand up for yourself, and for your little baby.

 

[25weeker]

I hope you manage to hold on for many weeks to come.

I think the prev posts cover most things for you. Ask the doctor who is monitoring your pregnancy to arrange a visit to the neonatal unit and a chat with a neonatal doctor who will hopefully put your mind at ease.

Most units make exceptions to the visiting hours when a baby is first admitted or critical.

Take care

Xx

 

[youngmum2b]

Wow, sound similar to what another girl my age had done to her baby, they even tried to deem her n unfit mother cos she was to ill to visit her son for the first 3 days of his life n none of the staff were willing to take her across the corridor to the nicu in the end she had to wait a good 4 days before she got to see her son n was then told cos shed left it so long she couldnt give him her breastmilk cos he werent used to it. She was kept in for 2 wks due to other complications n the whole time she was made to stay on the anti-natal ward with 5 other mothers n their babies.

 

[embojet]

I had Molly at 29+1. She was in hospital for 7 weeks, and is absolutely fine now. As above, I think eberyone else has more or less covered everything. Dont be afraid to ask questions in the NICU/SCBU, the staff are all amazing. Good luck!

 

[Anna_due Dec]

If baby is born 32-34 weeks as you say, i'd be pretty surprised if they kept him in for 2 or 3 months unless there was some extra issue. By that point they are USUALLY pretty good. I had a 31 weeker and he was only in for 5 weeks and they considered that pretty normal. Also, i'm all for being demanding when it comes to the hospital, i jumped up and down a few times about various things but keep in mind they won't transfer a baby that isn't stable (for his benefit). One of the hardest things about being a prem mum is having to take direction and ask permission from staff regarding your baby. It does make you feel a bit second rate sometimes but you have to remember that the systems are there for a reason and they do come home eventually and then they are ALL YOURS!! It just takes a bit of patience and don't beat yourself up if you start to feel like you aren't bonding well, it does happen sometimes. I didn't feel like Tay (my 27 weeker) was mine at all when i brought him home from the hospital but it gets better. Tay is my reason for getting out of bed each day now...he is soooooo loved. There are things that are harder for prem parents but you get through it all and appreciate them that much more.