Does anybody monitor your teen driving?

[fValerie]

Lately my son shows interest in street races and my stress level is through the roof. I am afriad that he might be overspeeding or driving insecure when nobody is watching him. He got into an accident a few days ago (another driver hit him). What do I do? My husband wants to buy him a UonMap tracker to monitor his speed and location. Is it a good idea at all?

 

[LoraLoo]

I think it's controlling, I don't like the idea at all.
If he speeds then he will have to deal with the consequences.
Im not sure what a tracker will achieve other than him resenting you for it.

 

[Tasha]

If he's old enough to be driving, he's old enough to have freedom. I know it must be hard but sometimes you have to let go and let them make their own mistakes,

 

[Nibblenic]

On one hand I agree but then what if he kills someone?

I would certainly talk to him about his behaviour and possible consequences of that.

 

[fValerie]

But I have a question. Do you want to know that your child is OK? In case of emergency you are able to receive an accindent notification and do something. What about it? Or for example you can monitor car's condition.

 

[LoraLoo]

It's the drivers responsibility to ensure the car is in good condition. How would a tracker enable you to keep tabs on te cars condition?

As for being notified in an accident- if your son carries ID, they'll be able to get hold of you.

At what point would you stop monitoring him, what age? Are you going to continue the 'what ifs' right through his life, to use as an excuse to keep tabs on him?

 

[Tasha]

Tell him to put ICE mum, ICE dad etc in the contacts of his phone.

 

[VALiz]

This is a tough one. IMO It's not so simple as letting the consequences speak for themselves. If a kid wasn't doing homework, etc then dealing with detention or poor grades is one thing but when a consequence could be death, I'm not sure I would be so laid back. If he is underage then I think you have a right to choose the best course of action. Over 18, of course you can't do much. I would be more interested in something that just showed speed info and not location. I'm not sure if that's available. I do think that a parent checking location would be very upsetting for a teen.

Maybe a visit to local police to explain serious car accidents?

 

[LoraLoo]

This is a tough one. IMO It's not so simple as letting the consequences speak for themselves. If a kid wasn't doing homework, etc then dealing with detention or poor grades is one thing but when a consequence could be death, I'm not sure I would be so laid back. If he is underage then I think you have a right to choose the best course of action. Over 18, of course you can't do much. I would be more interested in something that just showed speed info and not location. I'm not sure if that's available. I do think that a parent checking location would be very upsetting for a teen.

Maybe a visit to local police to explain serious car accidents?

Im not sure how a tracker would avoid an accident or death. If the op suspects he's speeding she can discuss it by all means but a tracker isn't going to stop him doing it if he's going to do it he will.
He passed his test so he must be quite capable of driving. I'm sure he knows the law on speeding etc.
a tracker is a compete invasion of privacy imo.

 

[VALiz]

This is a tough one. IMO It's not so simple as letting the consequences speak for themselves. If a kid wasn't doing homework, etc then dealing with detention or poor grades is one thing but when a consequence could be death, I'm not sure I would be so laid back. If he is underage then I think you have a right to choose the best course of action. Over 18, of course you can't do much. I would be more interested in something that just showed speed info and not location. I'm not sure if that's available. I do think that a parent checking location would be very upsetting for a teen.

Maybe a visit to local police to explain serious car accidents?

Im not sure how a tracker would avoid an accident or death. If the op suspects he's speeding she can discuss it by all means but a tracker isn't going to stop him doing it if he's going to do it he will.
He passed his test so he must be quite capable of driving. I'm sure he knows the law on speeding etc.
a tracker is a compete invasion of privacy imo.

To each her own.

While I quite agree that location tracking is a complete invasion of privacy, I don't consider speed data very sensitive.

Do you have proof that he is speeding OP, or just suspicions? I think that suspicions would just be a talk situation but if you have proof, speeding tickets etc.,then you could consider other actions. I don't know if this is too graphic but your talk could include photos of accidents online? That may be too much though. The idea just popped in my head.

IMO, the only way a tracker would prevent an accident/fatality were if it was used to remove car privileges if something was found. If the first time you catch him speeding on it ends up in a fatality, no then it won't do any good. If your son knows he will lose car privileges if caught speeding, he may be less inclined to do that.

Lots of people pass driver's license tests and then go on to die in accidents they cause by speeding or carelessness.

I agree though that suspicions without proof do not merit much more than a conversation.

Looks like OP, you have several different points of view, all valid I'm sure, so it's up to you what works best for your family.

 

[Pearls18]

I've already thought this one through ha. So I will probably buy my boys their first car and insurance etc but if they're still around by this time get them a black box, this keeps their insirance costs down (hopefully!!!!) and gives me comfort in knowing they will have to drive more steadily, and as I am paying I hope they will oblige. I've been with my husband since he was 17 and I remember exactly what he was like, the thought terrifies me and I myself had too many near misses as a teenager, car accidents are the biggest killer for 18-24 year olds, the decision making element of our brain isn't fully developed until 25 which is why younger people can be more impulsive so yes it is controlling and I have 12 years to change my mind haha but right now this plan gives me comfort.

Edited to add: by "if they're still around, I mean black boxes!!"

 

[Pearls18]

And if they don't drive appropriately enough to the point the insurance company increases the premiums, that is where I can step in to parent and probably remove bank of mum and dad!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Until you have a chid of driving age, sitting up at night scared shitless, you really don't know how it feels..If it was me yes I would get one..As long as my kids live in my house everything they do is my business..If something happened to any of my boys, I would die..And before even getting this thing he would not be driving, period.. I know how scary it is Good Luck

 

[emyandpotato]

I've already thought this one through ha. So I will probably buy my boys their first car and insurance etc but if they're still around by this time get them a black box, this keeps their insirance costs down (hopefully!!!!) and gives me comfort in knowing they will have to drive more steadily, and as I am paying I hope they will oblige. I've been with my husband since he was 17 and I remember exactly what he was like, the thought terrifies me and I myself had too many near misses as a teenager, car accidents are the biggest killer for 18-24 year olds, the decision making element of our brain isn't fully developed until 25 which is why younger people can be more impulsive so yes it is controlling and I have 12 years to change my mind haha but right now this plan gives me comfort.

Edited to add: by "if they're still around, I mean black boxes!!"

And if they don't drive appropriately enough to the point the insurance company increases the premiums, that is where I can step in to parent and probably remove bank of mum and dad!

Absolutely this! And a tracker would have absolutely made me more careful of my speed as a teenager; I don't want the wrath of mum and dad! A location tracker would have upset me though. For teenagers the potential consequences of causing an accident seem so unlikely and unreal, but consequences of being told of because their parents/insurance are aware they're speeding is much more immediate and would probably have a better effect.

 

[fValerie]

I've already thought this one through ha. So I will probably buy my boys their first car and insurance etc but if they're still around by this time get them a black box, this keeps their insirance costs down (hopefully!!!!) and gives me comfort in knowing they will have to drive more steadily, and as I am paying I hope they will oblige. I've been with my husband since he was 17 and I remember exactly what he was like, the thought terrifies me and I myself had too many near misses as a teenager, car accidents are the biggest killer for 18-24 year olds, the decision making element of our brain isn't fully developed until 25 which is why younger people can be more impulsive so yes it is controlling and I have 12 years to change my mind haha but right now this plan gives me comfort.

Edited to add: by "if they're still around, I mean black boxes!!"

Thanks for your reply! I have the same opinion! Teens are very impulsive and speed very often. I want my child not doing it. That's why I want to plug in a device to control him. Do you know any? With good functions?

 

[fValerie]

Until you have a chid of driving age, sitting up at night scared shitless, you really don't know how it feels..If it was me yes I would get one..As long as my kids live in my house everything they do is my business..If something happened to any of my boys, I would die..And before even getting this thing he would not be driving, period.. I know how scary it is Good Luck

So and I want to buy such thing. Like GPS tracker with ability to control the car.

 

[Pearls18]

I've already thought this one through ha. So I will probably buy my boys their first car and insurance etc but if they're still around by this time get them a black box, this keeps their insirance costs down (hopefully!!!!) and gives me comfort in knowing they will have to drive more steadily, and as I am paying I hope they will oblige. I've been with my husband since he was 17 and I remember exactly what he was like, the thought terrifies me and I myself had too many near misses as a teenager, car accidents are the biggest killer for 18-24 year olds, the decision making element of our brain isn't fully developed until 25 which is why younger people can be more impulsive so yes it is controlling and I have 12 years to change my mind haha but right now this plan gives me comfort.

Edited to add: by "if they're still around, I mean black boxes!!"

Thanks for your reply! I have the same opinion! Teens are very impulsive and speed very often. I want my child not doing it. That's why I want to plug in a device to control him. Do you know any? With good functions?

In the UK we have some insurance companies that place a "black box" in the car which monitors driving, the insurance company then uses this data to control how much the policy will cost, if they are an impulsive, unsteady, speedy driver the premiums go up as they are deemed riskier, if you're a good driver their premiums won't be so high so it's a kind of indirect way of ensuring they are driving carefully as they will be monitored and there are direct consequences. I'm not sure if they have something like this in other countries.

 

[Pearls18]

I personally wouldn't want a GPS tracker as I feel that is spying on location rather than safety of driving, and I'm not sure if there even is such a thing as controlling the car but again if there was that would be a step too far for me and doesn't sound very safe. The military here have black boxes that send warnings to the appropriate people if the vehicle hasn't been driven safely so I'm sure there is technology out there that just monitors the speed and style of driving and if you're not happy with the analysis figure out where to go from there. Or just put in a pretend one so he thinks you are monitoring him

 

[Chicalia]

I have a Ford Escape with the MyKey system. You can program a key to prevent the car from going faster than a certain speed if that is the key that is being used in the ignition. I don't have a teenager, but if I did, I feel like programming a key for them that would be their personal key with pre-set settings would be the way to go. Maybe after finishing the year of a probationary driver's license, I would turn the setting off and keep it off as long as there were no accidents or tickets.

I don't have the required 10 posts to post a link to a website about Ford's MyKey system, but any parent reading who is in the market for a car for their teen might want to read up on it.

 

[suzib76]

My key seems like an incredible watste of money to me. Great that you can limit the speed so your teen can't go too fast on motorway, but realistically you can't limit them to 30mph which is generally the speed limit in built up areas. So it's not going to stop them tearing about in 30/40/50/60 mph limited areas. It's not going to limit them to 40mph on a bad bend in a 60mph road more accidents on country roads are caused by people going faster than the road allows,rather than faster than the speed limit. We have a particular bad double bend near us which has claimed a lot of lives, it's on a 60mph stretch of road but you need to do the bend at just under 30mph - no speed limiter will ever do that.