Does it bother you if neighbors spy on you?

[FAB mama]

We have a house with a decent sized back-yard/garden, but no fence. Most houses around here have fences, but not ours. Well most of our neighbors are middle-aged to retired/elderly and clearly watch us all the time. One admitted to it (said she loves to watch my son play). She's stuck at home all the time so I understand, but they are watching from inside their houses and to me it gets creepy and makes me uncomfortable. Am I just overly paranoid? Does anyone not care if people are spying on them?

We are trying to put up a fence soon to help with the privacy and to keep LO from running off into the street or driveways, etc. I can't wait! Am I being a rude neighbor?

 

[sparkle_1979]

I wouldn't say you're rude and I can see why u don't like it. I must say though if it was an old lady she's probably just lonely and it probably reminds her of when her children were little

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It would bother me a bit but it's a bit sweet. I love to watch kids play, I used to live opposite a park and watch them all the time

 

[lau86]

Yeah, agree with the other two, it's a bit creepy but I can see why she does it. It's probably one of those things that would've been a lot better if she hadn't told you...

 

[Nibblenic]

It happens to me as I am in a very similar environment, with two elderly neighbours, who both live alone.

The one who looks directly onto our house, comes out and chats at the door at least once a day everyday. She says seeing my daughter coming and going "is the highlight of her day"
I dont consider it spying at all as, they are just lonely, which is a horrible thing to have to deal with. My neighbour also doesnt leave her house, as that is her 'security zone' she doesnt go out unassisted at all, not even into her own garden. Also her beeper to care call, doesnt work much outside her own house.

There are many positives to this kind of neighbour though. No one gets onto or near my property without being checked by my neighbour when im not in. I never have to wait in for parcels, she always takes them in.

She alone, many of her friends have died or like her cant leave the house. Her daughter comes regularly, but we are a significant part of her life as she has so few people in it. If seeing us from the window, having a few chats makes her happy in her old age. Then im more than happy for that to happen.

 

[Nela]

I love my privacy so anything less than that bugs me. However, I think the older lady just does it without thinking. I'd probably invite her over for coffee in the yard if she's not one of those grumpy ones

 

[Natasha2605]

It would absolutely bug me although it is kind of sweet and you can understand why they do it xx

 

[Lauraxamy]

I am in the same kind of situation. The bottom of my garden backs onto an elderly couples garden and they're always being nosey, peering over the fence etc I even asked about putting up a bigger fence but compromised because they said they couldn't see out their drive with a bigger fence there.. My neighbours opposite again, are fairly elderly and they actually cross the road, come to the gate and come and talk to my LO's when they're out playing.
It bothers me a little bit, I like my privacy but in one way it's kind of sweet and I couldn't ever upset them by saying anything, I'd feel soo guilty

 

[jd83]

As others have already said, it would bug me if she did it all the time, but I would also fully understand her reasoning, as she's likely just a lonely old lady and it brings back fond memories to watch kids play.

ETA: as long as she's not spying looking for you to do something wrong, I'd let it go. We have a neighbor who does that, and its awful! He's practically memorized the HOA bylaws and is always looking for neighbors to be doing something wrong so he can turn them in and get them fined. Crotchety old man....

 

[morri]

I wouldnt call it spying if they watch them, spying is more trying to find about about lives, opening your mail etc.

 

[lhancock90]

I don't think it would massively bother me, although when i had BBQs etc i would feel abit awkward.

I'm sort of the other way, i end up nosing out the window at different points of the day, not for prolonged amounts of time though, i feel i know all sorts about my neighbours now

 

[FAB mama]

Thanks everyone. I should have mentioned the older lady has some family living with her, however one family member got in trouble with the police so I'd rather not have her around my son. I do understand the older lady wanting to watch my son play. I love to watch kids play too in general. We chat with her husband often since he's hardly ever inside his house. It's nice to have someone to kind of watch over our house, but like I said, they aren't the people I'd really prefer to associate with. Thankfully our other neighbors aren't like that. BUT I did see the other one hide as soon as I looked at their window one day… so she was watching us too. Hopefully the fence doesn't make things worse!

 

[Natsku]

It'd bug me, I don't like being watched, but its understandable. I don't have any neighbours that watch me (that I know of...) but I still don't like the fact that they are able to (house right behind mine - I can see in their windows so they can see in mine I'm sure) - I feel like I have to close the curtains every time I change my clothes!

 

[sandilion]

I wouldn't like it at all, so i don't blame you for not liking it!! Def get a fence up. You are absolutely NOT rude. And if they think you are, who cares! You're living your life, they're just neighbors. Don't worry about what they think. You have ever right to your privacy just like im sure they like theirs.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I can see both sides I guess. On the one hand it's sweet but on the other hand you are entitled to your privacy and it's not nice feeling like you're being watched all the time in your own garden. That would probably annoy me a little. Your not rude in putting the fence up at all. It's your property and you shouldn't have to be watched when you're going about your own business. As I said, it is sweet of her with her being a little old lady, but it's now of those things that you probably wish that they'd not told you as you'll always be aware of it now! I would put the fence up and not worry

 

[MiniKiwi]

This wouldn't bother me. If it was a lonely old lady then I'd invite her for coffee. As it is, I think I'd mention the next time you see her that you felt a fence was necessary now that your son is walking etc. and you'd feel safer if you knew he couldn't leave the yard. Just so she doesn't think her nosiness caused it

 

[Ceejay123]

.

 

[babycrazy1706]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either. Xx

 

[FAB mama]

Honestly it would really freak me out!

I live in a detached house, down a private drive... So I'm quite lucky.

However, we've recently had the garden re-done, all of the big trees ripped out of the back for new conifers, which will be evergreen. We need to wait a year or so for them to grow to a height which will stop the second floor of the house over the back being able to see into our garden.

I hate it

Praying the next 12 months goes quickly. x

Yeah we were careful to pick a house that wasn't next to any with 2 floors for just that reason. At least with a fence we can put it up if needed. It's been about 2 1/2 years now but with LO running around it's really getting to me!

 

[SisterRose]

It does sound like she's only being nice, and like others have said, it probably reminds her of her children when they were younger.

however...I personally wouldn't like it. It'd make me feel very uncomfortable. I know it sounds weird but I have a thing about being watched, even if it's harmless. I find it totally creepy! I like my privacy! We live in a detached house and have a fence in the back yard but both our neighbours can see in to our garden if they looked out of their back windows upstairs and I must admit that even bothers me. There's no way I'd dare to sunbathe in summer or anything knowing people could be watching out the windows. I even try to sit in parts of the garden that're out of view from the windows.

Sorry if ive just creeped people out more lol