Don't know what to do for the best

[Sparky0207]

Hello girlies, some advice would be much appreciated please.
I posted a few weeks ago about my children's waste of space father wanting overnight stays but I refused. That was all sorted and we agreed he would have the children just for 6 hours once a week.

The weekend just gone was the first time he's had the children without his parents being there (now he's living in his new house).
My youngest who's 3 came home upset and said daddy has a jacuzzi but she's not allowed in it anymore.. I'm fuming they went in it in the first place. I asked why she's not allowed in and she said because she did a poo. My daughter has been clean for over a year and has never poo'd herself since she's been clean. She started crying and I said gently that she should ask daddy if she needed to get out to go to the toilet. My eldest who's 4 then said she couldn't ask daddy because daddy wasn't there. I asked who was with them in the jacuzzi and they said no one, but daddy said that's ok because they had arm bands on!! My youngest then said she was crying for daddy but he couldn't hear her because he was in the house and she got very upset.
I don't want the children going there unsupervised anymore, the first time he has them without his parents present and this happens.
But where do I go from here? I can't call a solicitor as I can't afford one. Do I just withold contact or do I call my local social services? Someone please help!

 

[hayz_baby]

Maybe start it off as a conversation with fob? Explain the situation to him and how it isn't acceptable to leave them unsupervised in water. Then mention to him about when his parents are coming over to help him watch the kids?

 

[Sparky0207]

I have an injunction against him so only have contact with his mother as he's been violent to me in the past. Of course his mother has branded us all liars and said how her precious son would never leave the children unsupervised so they must be lying even though I know they're not!

 

[Jade--x]

I would probably call SS and ask their advice on what to do, if you've tried talking to his Mum and got no joy you don't have many other options. I'd be fuming too if I were you. I hope you get some answers soon

 

[Ceejay123]

Oh wow! I'd be absolutely manic! x

 

[Dezireey]

I don't think that is something the children would lie about as its a bit off the wall isn't it? If I read your post right, did your youngest poo in the jacuzzi because she couldn't get help from her Dad and then he won't let her go in there again because of that?

Spell it out to him that this or anything like this is completely unacceptable, mean business and say that until you are confident that he is a competent father he will not have unsupervised access again until the matter has been sorted and social services investigate. Frighten him and let him know that incidents such as this are classed as neglect and that if he continues to do this to his children, you will fight for only ever supervised access and they will never be allowed to stay with him / be on their own with him again. It is lazy parenting and he needs to know how serious it is to leave kids this age unsupervised in a bloody jacuzzi!

 

[Sparky0207]

Thanks girls
I'm so stressed with this, I'm going to call social services this afternoon and talk about it as I am genuinely worried.

To top it all off his employer has removed his attachment of earnings order (against the law I know, the Csa are investigating) so he hasn't paid me any maintenance and has instead gone out and bought himself a speed boat!!!

I am furious! Best of it is the attachment of earnings can't be implicated until next month now as we've rolled into June so I won't get a penny until the end of July while he's earning 2.5k a month then boasting about what he's buying! Grrrr

Xx

 

[Dezireey]

Thanks girls
I'm so stressed with this, I'm going to call social services this afternoon and talk about it as I am genuinely worried.

To top it all off his employer has removed his attachment of earnings order (against the law I know, the Csa are investigating) so he hasn't paid me any maintenance and has instead gone out and bought himself a speed boat!!!

I am furious! Best of it is the attachment of earnings can't be implicated until next month now as we've rolled into June so I won't get a penny until the end of July while he's earning 2.5k a month then boasting about what he's buying! Grrrr

Xx

He is earning 2.5 grand a MONTH and he isn't giving you a penny for his kids? What the Feck?

Selfish man, christ you'd think he would have even £20 to spare but nothing? wow, sorry he doesn't deserve to be a father or see his kids.

 

[Sparky0207]

Yep, took me so long to get anything from him. The Csa give them 3 months to make payment before they implement the attachment of earnings so takes about 4-5 months in total then he changed employers and didn't tell them so that took another 2 months to get it done, then I get a payment and he manages to convince his employer we've come to a cash agreement so the attachment is removed. It's being looked at now but it's a joke. I've had to borrow money off family to get me through half term and he's out buying a new house, hot tub, speed boat, brand new car... And not a penny for his kids. It's a joke.