Don't you feel bad for me!!!

[AlwaysPraying]

I had a talk with a girl I just met. She was clearly very pregnant so I asked when she was due (three days ago she said). She asked me when I was due and I said I was having a c section in a weeks time. She said "Oh I'm sorry". My eyes nearly fell out of my head!!!

I had a c section with my first after a very hard labour and because of my history am going for a repeat section. I feel like I carried and delivered my baby just like any other woman!! And I'm going to do it again!! Your sorry?? What for? I thought that was so odd. It's not like I have a broken leg that needs surgery, I'm giving birth to my daughter! It's beautiful wonderful and exciting!

Anyways I had to share the weird reaction I got. And say to all us women who e had c sections or plan to that we have given birth just as sucseffully and proudly as any other woman. There's no lack of effort or loss of achievement because we've had a c section at all.

I jus had to put the out there.

 

[Quackquack99]

I had that in hospital when my friends called me to find out what happened but end of the day aslong as my baby is safe that should be what matters the most.

 

[nov_mum]

I think c section is still seen as a major surgery that happens when there are complications in pregnancy that prevent a natural birth. For the most part this is true but in some countries it is becoming very routine and elected. Unless you move in pregnancy circles you might assume that everyone wants to avoid major surgery or pregnancy complications. I certainly never thought that people elected this before I pregnant. I always assumed it was a life saving measure which occurred in a crisis and always felt sympathetic towards the person.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

Yeah I can see that. I guess I can see the sympathy / apology around the circumstances of getting there but not the actual event itself. I'm certainly not going in for one wanting it or excited for it but knowing its the safest route for my girl and me I'm proud to be doing it. I'm grateful for the option and that's what should never be pittied.

I guess it seems like the "I'm sorry" is more patronizing, as in "oh I'm sorry you can't give birth naturally". Where to me it has nothing to do with that at all. Like a broken bone needs a cast some babies need a c section to arrive.

 

[helena]

What a silly reaction she gave. Both mine we sections, so will my third be. I am proud to be doing what I feel best for both me and baby. I don't feel I have missed out r had a tough time. It was partly choice. Reasons aren't really anyone else's business. I am always spritzed when people in the eal world ask me why it was a section. I usually make them feel awkward by telling them about my skin condition down below (thin skin, tears easily, true..but I bet they wish they hadn't asked! Lol ), or I just smile and say it is so practical, and after all. Am too posh to push they don't know how to take that, serious r not.
She probably just didn't think. Hopefully she is kicking herself for handing like such a smug pregnant lady now.

 

[katy1310]

It's reactions like that that make me feel even worse - I couldn't even carry my daughter full term, I had her at 27 weeks, which makes me feel awful but when people say things about the fact that I had a section as well, I feel like a total failure - but then I have to remind myself that it saved both my life and hers. xx

 

[Ohmy4]

You should have felt bad for her! Having her vajayjay possibly split open, crapping herself, and being in the worst pain ever! No thanks. Whatta B!

 

[notpregnant]

I had a talk with a girl I just met. She was clearly very pregnant so I asked when she was due (three days ago she said). She asked me when I was due and I said I was having a c section in a weeks time. She said "Oh I'm sorry". My eyes nearly fell out of my head!!!

I had a c section with my first after a very hard labour and because of my history am going for a repeat section. I feel like I carried and delivered my baby just like any other woman!! And I'm going to do it again!! Your sorry?? What for? I thought that was so odd. It's not like I have a broken leg that needs surgery, I'm giving birth to my daughter! It's beautiful wonderful and exciting!

Anyways I had to share the weird reaction I got. And say to all us women who e had c sections or plan to that we have given birth just as sucseffully and proudly as any other woman. There's no lack of effort or loss of achievement because we've had a c section at all.

I jus had to put the out there.

loved this post! and i totally agree with what you said

 

[nov_mum]

You should have felt bad for her! Having her vajayjay possibly split open, crapping herself, and being in the worst pain ever! No thanks. Whatta B!

cos it's a competition right. How do people expect to others to respect their choices when comments like this get made. I'm sure some people are comfortable with whatever choices they made around their births but a lot of people don't get to choose. If everyone is so proud then why have to slag off other peoples experiences? It also shows what little knowledge this poster has about vaginal births. Overall, I am pretty sure you end up with more split open in surgery, well that is my experience. No all people crap themselves when they birth but the majority of women who have to or choose to have surgery have to have their pee drained. So for whoever is taking score, maybe you want to figure that in?? It's crap like this that put people off mums groups.

 

[aliss]

You should have felt bad for her! Having her vajayjay possibly split open, crapping herself, and being in the worst pain ever! No thanks. Whatta B!

No wonder some girls are so frightened to try a vaginal labour/VBAC when you spout crap like that!

AP- Is it really only a week away already??? I saw your post in the main page. How exciting I look forward to pictures of your little girl. It's really a shame how this girl reacted, I suppose foot-in-mouth? I think a lot of women cannot comprehend the trauma that a previous labour can affect a woman and how she can be happy to have an alternative method to going through it again!

You're always going to have ignorance (aka PP, sorry), what matters is that you've made the right decision for you and you are happy with it!!

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I think there's ignorance on either side to be honest. For me, I don't look at a vaginal birth as a wonderful blessing of an experience because of my history, but it's my history, so that's all that matters to me. I don't think it's some horrible thing either. I think it's potentially wonderful, peaceful and natural, sure, but that wasn't me!

I guess that's what I mean. When people look at us "c-section-ers" and feel bad or pity, I say, "NO WAY!". I've made an informed choice and I'm happy with that choice. I wish it were different the first time, but this is my story and that's ok. This is the safest route and my baby will be born healthy, safe, and in good hands!

 

[pinkribbon]

I'm kinda on the fence about the statement, I did feel robbed when I found out I'd need a section so I felt sorry for myself for a good while.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I'm coming from my position of the second c section being planned. Our first was a shock and hard to accept for sure. Safest? You bet, but yes, of course disappointing still. Knowing what I know now. I'm empowered and in control. No need for pity here.