Dry as a rock and feeling like a failure :/ (rant)

[loveforlife]

So my baby is 26 days old and apparently I was only able to feed her colostrum on the day we were at the hospital…. Back then everything seemed to be going well so every time the lactation consultant came and asked how we were, I said we were doing fine…. If I had known!

The first night back home was a nightmare… my baby went on crying and crying non-stop all night long and all morning. As much as I tried to feed her nothing seemed to come out of my damn boobs, they started getting sore, hurt a lot and got a scab which I was afraid my baby would eventually swallow… In the morning I got really concerned because of how much my baby had cried, she was born a bit over 5.5 punds and I was affraid would dehydrate for so much crying and not eating for so many hours…. So we headed to the pediatricians office…

She told me to complement with formula… at first it seemed like an honest thing to do, after all the first priority is for baby to eat and gain some weight…the problem was that I still wasn´t able to produce enough milk to satisfy my baby´s hunger and to eventually decrease the amount of formula I was giving her… every day she wanted more and more food and my boobs weren´t doing their thing so, it was "easier" to just give her more formula… with the days this turned into a downward spiral… baby getting bigger led to more hunger, more hunger turned to more formula and this led to lesser milk production.

I honestly feel awful… I feel as I have left my baby down, and I feel like such a fail as a woman…. all this time I dreamed about an all natural birth (and I ended up being transfered to a hospital and getting an epidural in order for me to dilate after four days of hard labor and 5 hours stuck at 7cm) and to be able to EBF my baby and now I´m feeding her formula…. I feel like such a terrible mother.

Anyhow… I want to be able to BF so much is frustrating to see her eating so desperately and end up crying because she is still hungry, and then see her drink 4 full oz of formula reinforcing that she actually didn´t get anything from me.

I know I won´t give up and will continue to do the best I can to increase my milk supply and hopefully I will be able to go from formula to BF my little girl.

Aww! If anyone read this, you are the best! I know it´s such a bore to read long depressing stories from strangers lol

 

[Meg26]

Omg i want to hug you!.
I am sorry i dont understand your pain personally but i can imagine the feeling. I have a few things for you to try.
1st: latch your little one on as often as possible even if its just for a few min or just for comfort the sucking with increase your supply
2. Drink a ton of water
3. Eat oatmeal seriously works like a charm...eat it every morning if you can stomach it.
4. Look up a good recipe for lactation cookies (they require brewers yeast which increases supply like crazy)
And last but not least head on over to your local health food store and find some fenugreek tea!! Tastes awful but helps.
i really hope you can get your supply back.
also just because you cant bf right now doesnt make you a failure your doing everything you can and in the end you have a happy healthy baby with a full belly.

 

[Try Rocking]

First off, you are NOT a failure. It doesn't always happen for people and sometimes it just doesn't happen right away.

With both of my kids I've had to suppliment. I'm hoping to eventually be able to fully BF my son but we will see.
Both of my kids lost a lot of weight right off the bat and it was strongly recommended that I supplement.
With my daughter no matter what I did I could never increase my BM enough to be able to fully BF her.

I would recommend trying tube feeding though, you are still supplementing but baby will get formula from a tube while they are nursing. Keeping the baby on there and nursing should help to bring in more milk.

https://www.lowmilksupply.org/abs.shtml

There are also a bunch of things you can take, have you tried domperidone? If not, talk to your doctor as soon as possible and make sure s/he starts you off at the highest dose possible.
There is also fenugreek and blessed thistle tinctures/pills, mother's milk tea, lactation cookies (just made myself up a bunch today), pumping when you're done nursing (some people do inbetween sessions as well), and I'm sure there's a bunch of things I'm forgetting.

If you need to talk I'm here. I've been through it and I'm going through supply issues. I'm not bone dry but I pretty much was for my daughter.
I know how frustrating and emotionally devastating it can be. It can help to have someone to talk to who's been through it.

 

[Nicolalove353]

You are not a failure. I struggled with bf from day one because of latch and then was told by a dr to supplement and that in turn messed with my supply. I nursed for 17 weeks and struggled the whole time. Have you tried pumping? I wish I would have pumped more in the beginning when my son wasn't nursing well. I never was able to satisfy my son also. He would nurse on both sides for 15 min each and still drink his whole bottle. It really is a horrible feeling to want to bf so bad but not be able to. have you tried mothers milk tea? That seemed to work some for me. I hope that your milk finally comes in an that you can get your baby back on your breast.

 

[staralfur]

This is tricky territory because sometimes when women think they're not producing enough, it's just because they're not familiar with normal newborn feeding/clusterfeeding. I was one of those women. On the other hand, it's hard to know by a post on a forum if that was the case, or if your LO was legitimately not getting enough.

Why did your doctor recommend supplementing? Was it just because you said you didn't think your LO was satisfied, or did she lose weight?

Babies for the first 6 weeks (sometimes more) are pretty much constantly giving hunger cues and wanting to nurse. It's the only way to increase your supply to meet their needs. I spent that whole time thinking it meant that I wasn't producing enough, and then supplementing with formula, which was actually quite counterproductive.

If you want to get to EBF, I would suggest offering the breast every time your LO gives hungry cues or wants to comfort suck. The more time she spends on the boob, the more milk you'll produce. When you give the formula top-ops, pump. Gradually cut out 1oz of formula to start with.

Keep track of diaper output. That's the easiest way you're going to know if your LO is getting enough. Maybe take note of how many wet/dirty diapers she's having now, and compare that to how many you're getting while cutting formula out.

Of course, all of that is probably moot if you've actually been diagnosed with low milk production, just the feeling I got from your post was that it might've been more of a case of not being armed with the right information (as was unfortunately the case with me!).

Most importantly, don't feel bad. Breastfeeding is HARD and way more complicated than I think most of us realize going into it. You have your baby's best interest at heart and for that reason you are a wonderful mother.

 

[missk1989]

I would be pumping as often as lo is feeding. That way your telling your body to produce milk and anything you can express you can give to your lo instead of formula.

 

[TMonster]

Are you using a SNS? If not, I would switch to one.
A SNS is sort of like a bottle that you wear around your neck with a very thin tube that you tape to the underside of your nipple, this way each time you FF your baby is getting some of your milk too, it keeps your baby used to the idea of getting milk from your breasts and not a bottle, it helps maintain that bond/comfort AND it will keep stimulating your nipples to increase your supply.

I would start doing that with every single feed no matter what and stop offering bottles completely.

That combined with some of the suggestions already left here like oatmeal, lactation cookies, fenugreek tea etc. should help bring up your supply.

 

[Meg26]

My lo was a big time clusterfeeder and i had to do a ton of research to convince myself he was getting enough (especially with family telling me he wasnt if he had to nurse that often) its a struggle and sometimes frustrating for sure. Lack of knowlege is a huge problem in the breastfeeding world (me being one of the uneducated ones to start off with).

This is tricky territory because sometimes when women think they're not producing enough, it's just because they're not familiar with normal newborn feeding/clusterfeeding. I was one of those women. On the other hand, it's hard to know by a post on a forum if that was the case, or if your LO was legitimately not getting enough.

Why did your doctor recommend supplementing? Was it just because you said you didn't think your LO was satisfied, or did she lose weight?

Babies for the first 6 weeks (sometimes more) are pretty much constantly giving hunger cues and wanting to nurse. It's the only way to increase your supply to meet their needs. I spent that whole time thinking it meant that I wasn't producing enough, and then supplementing with formula, which was actually quite counterproductive.

If you want to get to EBF, I would suggest offering the breast every time your LO gives hungry cues or wants to comfort suck. The more time she spends on the boob, the more milk you'll produce. When you give the formula top-ops, pump. Gradually cut out 1oz of formula to start with.

Keep track of diaper output. That's the easiest way you're going to know if your LO is getting enough. Maybe take note of how many wet/dirty diapers she's having now, and compare that to how many you're getting while cutting formula out.

Of course, all of that is probably moot if you've actually been diagnosed with low milk production, just the feeling I got from your post was that it might've been more of a case of not being armed with the right information (as was unfortunately the case with me!).

Most importantly, don't feel bad. Breastfeeding is HARD and way more complicated than I think most of us realize going into it. You have your baby's best interest at heart and for that reason you are a wonderful mother.

 

[cat_reversing]

we are all here to support one another so don't worry about that, maybe we support you today and you support one of us tomorrow- it works both ways.
You can do it if you really want, it can be hard but can definitely be done (rule out any medical issues tho).
eat, drink, baby to breast often as possible, supplement (I used fenugeek) and try not to be tense as this will affect the milk coming out.
Pump/baby to breast between 12am-4am as milk hormones highest then.
Good luck.

 

[Try Rocking]

I wanted to share this article I found the other day, I'm not saying it's what's going on with you but just in case know you're not alone.

I'm pretty sure this is my problem.

https://www.babble.com/baby/breastfeeding-problems-low-breast-milk-supply-lactation-consultant/

 

[melfy77]

Sorry you're going through this

Sounds like cluster feeding; DD2 is pretty much the same age as your LO and was up feeding pretty much every hour last night.

As for boosting production, 2 things work for me
-oatmeal (the steel cut works better for me)

-homemade pizza!! I'm guessing because of the yeast...Last night I was expecting to go ''dry'' because of all her feeding, but my boobs were actually engorged and poor thing would even choke sometimes and have her face covered with milk A friend made the dough, so I will make sure I get her recipe!!

 

[ChimChims]

My sympathies. This much grief and stress are not how you want to remember your early days as mommy. All the suggestions above are valid and can work, or like they said, nursing with the tube can still bring you that bonding joy. Best wishes!

 

[loveforlife]

Hi ladies, it is so nice and conforting to read your comments, experiences and advice… your support has really been very important for me, specially since DH doesn´t really get the whole BF issues (of course, he´s a guy)… I already got the Mothers Milk tea, the oatmeal, went through some breastfeeding cookie recipes online and been following as many of your valuable advice as I can…. at the same time I´ll try to keep calm (don´t think a stressed mother is of much good), I will try to give my baby as much as I can and I´ll leave the rest to biology…… at the end, the most important thing is that my baby is growing healthy and is happy.

Just to explain my situation a bit more, I was not diagnosed with low supply and my hormone levels are okay, it was just a feeling that I got by the impression that my baby was not getting enough (back then I didn´t know cluster feeding existed!!) and because when I mentioned to the pediatrician she blindly suggested I supplemented with formula so I thought it was a fact that I was not up for BF….. Think I´ll change doctors!!

Thank you so much for your support, I really, really appreciate it, your words and understanding really got to me…. Any time you need anything, I´ll sure be here for you too as well.

XOXO

 

[rachy01]

I agree with all suggestions (latching as often as possible, pumping when she wont latch, lactationccookies (if UK mammas need a supplier, pm me for amazing cookie link)) but would add,skin to skin contact.good luck