Due in 10 days and still terrified something will go wrong :(

[shirlls]

Firstly, I'd like to say to you all that I am sorry for your loss or losses, and that I hope your current pregnancies are successful ones

I am currently 9 months pregnant and due in 10 days (14th August) after 2 miscarriages within 3 months of each other last year. I had a threatened miscarriage with this pregnancy at 6 weeks (on Xmas Day) and I had horrendous cramping similar to miscarriage pain until I reached 8 weeks. My mum's first baby was tragically stillborn 7 years before she had me, and 2 years ago a friend also suffered that same tragedy .

I have been anxious throughout my whole pregnancy that I am going to lose my baby, more so at the start with the fear of miscarriage happening again, however I can't stop thinking about what happened to my mum and my friend and I am terrified of it happening to me too. I saw what it did to my friend and I just wish I could have done something for her and been able to bring her baby back. If it happened to me I couldn't bear it, and I can't get these awful thoughts out my head no matter how hard I try.

I have talked to my MW and she was understanding about it, and gave me a scan at 33 weeks, the point my mum was at when it happened to her. Apart from the threatened miscarriage at 6 weeks and the cramping at the start, my pregnancy has been pretty straightforward which is reassuring but I just want my baby here safe and sound in my arms and I won't relax until he is.

Everyone is so excited, my husband, MIL, friends, etc but I keep thinking 'he's not here until he is here' and can't get excited myself. I do sometimes get moments of positivity and excitement, I'd go mad if I didn't, but I just want my baby here and this pregnancy to be successfully over.

Thanks for listening. Wishing a happy & healthy pregnancy to you all!
x

 

[Leliana]

Shirlls, I remember you from a time before I started posting on this forum. I had my miscarriage on December 23rd, two days before Christmas and I remember scouring the internet for other people who had experienced the same thing. I never posted, only lurked but I remember some of your posts and hoping so desperately you didn't suffer the same outcome as me. Reading that you made it through and are now 10 days from delivery gives me more hope than I can ever say.

I'm not sure that it ever gets any easier until we hold that baby in our arms. I am almost 23 weeks pregnant now and I still check for blood every time I use the loo. I too have friends who tragically lost their children late into their pregnancy and it plays on my mind. Every day I am still pregnant feels like a small victory sometimes. I too swing between excitement and deep fear. I think once you've had a miscarriage you lose the innocence of pregnancy, you are more self aware and concerned about the little things. I wish I had the answer as to how we can make this go away but any time I feel this way I put my hands on my bump, talk to my daughter and tell her she WILL be carried full-term and we'll make it there together.

I just know everything will work out for you. Your baby boy will be here SO soon and you'll be holding him in your arms. 40 weeks of all this anguish will be worth every second once he is here.

Sending so much love to you. Keep us updated and just remember that by simply being where you are you have given many of us so much positivity for our own pregnancies xxx

 

[shirlls]

Hi Leliana, Thank you so much for your reply. I am so sorry to hear bout your loss before Christmas, that must have been so hard.

Many congratulations to you on your current pregnancy I will keep everything crossed for you . I am so happy for you that you are now nearly 23 weeks with a little girl on the way after what you went through at Christmas, that is very reassuring to hear a positive story. I am glad that my story gives you hope, it is positive stories which have partly helped me through this pregnancy so I'd be delighted if my situation gives hope to others! I will definitely keep you updated over the coming weeks.

You hit the nail bang on the head when you said about loss taking away the innocence of pregnancy, and I can totally empathise about still checking for blood every time you visit the loo (I still do it to this day even although I am considered full term), and I also know what you mean about swinging between excitement and deep fear. It is only in recent weeks I have bought stuff in for the baby, and part of me doesn't feel comfortable with it, although another part of me feels excited...

Like you say, every day is a small victory and is another day closer to things going ok for both of us! I am so happy that you have had success and please do stay in touch as I will look forward to seeing your happy announcement in December!

xx

 

[Skydust]

Firstly, I'd like to say to you all that I am sorry for your loss or losses, and that I hope your current pregnancies are successful ones

I am currently 9 months pregnant and due in 10 days (14th August) after 2 miscarriages within 3 months of each other last year. I had a threatened miscarriage with this pregnancy at 6 weeks (on Xmas Day) and I had horrendous cramping similar to miscarriage pain until I reached 8 weeks. My mum's first baby was tragically stillborn 7 years before she had me, and 2 years ago a friend also suffered that same tragedy .

I have been anxious throughout my whole pregnancy that I am going to lose my baby, more so at the start with the fear of miscarriage happening again, however I can't stop thinking about what happened to my mum and my friend and I am terrified of it happening to me too. I saw what it did to my friend and I just wish I could have done something for her and been able to bring her baby back. If it happened to me I couldn't bear it, and I can't get these awful thoughts out my head no matter how hard I try.

I have talked to my MW and she was understanding about it, and gave me a scan at 33 weeks, the point my mum was at when it happened to her. Apart from the threatened miscarriage at 6 weeks and the cramping at the start, my pregnancy has been pretty straightforward which is reassuring but I just want my baby here safe and sound in my arms and I won't relax until he is.

Everyone is so excited, my husband, MIL, friends, etc but I keep thinking 'he's not here until he is here' and can't get excited myself. I do sometimes get moments of positivity and excitement, I'd go mad if I didn't, but I just want my baby here and this pregnancy to be successfully over.

Thanks for listening. Wishing a happy & healthy pregnancy to you all!
x

It is so normal to be worried I was before I had my baby; perfectly normal. I am sure all will be well; if you have any concerns just ask the midwife to pop in and monitor the heartbeat for peace of mind.. good luck xx

 

[mammaspath]

I too still worry all the time...........I don't know how to now be worried now.

ill say prayers for a safe delivery for you!! update with pics of that new baby!