Entering the realms of playing out in the street!

[EcoMama]

My son is 5 and a half. We've just moved to a nice street in our village which is quiet and safe car wise.

He has a couple school buddies who are 6 & 8 who also live in the street.

They knocked on the door so have been riding their bikes on the street.

I'm currently hanging about outside keeping an eye on him.

What do you do? Am I being over protective?.... This is all new!

 

[daisydoo]

God I feel for you. My LO is 5 and we've not had this yet but Im dreading the day. Weve recently moved house and our last house was on an estate but cars used to whizz along Oliver never used to ask to play out but I was dreading the day he did as the little boy next door did from 2 1/2.
What Id say hun is if you dont want him to play out just say a firm no and dont be persuaded otherwise. Could all the kids play in your garden?

 

[RachA]

My son is 7 1/2 and the only time he's allowed to play out the front of the house is if one of us is out doing stuff in the front garden.
I don't actually see why they'd need to play out the front generally. We all have big gardens here so they have plenty of space to play/cycle etc.
my two jump over the fence into next doors garden and their two children do the same.

I don't think I'm being overbaring and restrictive but I can't honestly see why they'd feel the need to play on a pavement when they have a garden to play in.

One big thing for me would also be how trustworthy the other children are. If something happened to your son and he was unable to get home to you would the other kids stick around and fetch you or would they run off? At least if they are in the back garden or at someone's house they are easily heard etc.

 

[lindseymw]

Joshua is 6 and half and he's not allowed to play outside yet. We live in a cul de sac but cars come round the corner quite quick.

He has a friend who is 5 and also knocks on our door to ask him to play outside. I just don't trust Joshua to not wander off if his friend says. This boy in particular is allowed to wander the streets out of sight of his own house. I just don't feel comfortable letting him do that yet.

 

[MummyMana]

Imogens only two but she plays out a lot, I'm always with her and will be until she is a lot older.

There are a lot of kids age 5/6/7 around here who play out by themselves, and they're all really mean and rude to imogen, and the parents aren't there to correct them or even know what their little angels are doing. A group of them even tried to throw sand at her when she wasn't even walking yet :/ this is the main reason I wouldn't want her playing out without me, I'd be mortified if I found out she was behaving that way towards other children! Sure I won't always be a foot behind her, but I'll be keeping an eye to make sure she plays nicely

 

[Jchihuahua]

Daisy is 5 and I don't let her play out without me. The children of our neighbours on each side play out all the time and have knocked for Daisy a few times but I always say no. There are too many risks.

 

[alibaba24]

Im just starting to enter into the territory too and im not comfortable with it. at my sisters house my 5 year old wants to go out on the street with her cousins but i hang around to watch her

 

[CarlyP]

I dread this day, my eldest is 8 and youngest 4, neither of them play out, my 8 yr old isn't sensible enough to be honest, he wouldn't be cautious enough to be out on his own and is far to easily led by others.

When we visit my brother they play out on the cul de sac with their cousins, but always with an adult, we also have a large garden so there's no reason for him to be in the street.

 

[EcoMama]

I'm glad many of you think the same as me
We're very lucky in that outside the house is a big green grassy circle with a couple of home made swings, and the kids ride their bikes around it.

We've only been in the village for 9 months but it seems very safe and I'm not to afraid of kidnap type risks, but then again I lived close to the village were April Jones went missing and that it classed as a safe village!

The other 2 boys disn't have their parents out watching, they are nice polite friendly kids.

I think I'm going to stick to jusy sitting outside with a brew keeping an eye on things. I gave him boundaries today, which I feel better about now

 

[Vickie]

We live on a quiet cul de sac but I always am out with the kids if they are out front riding bikes/scooters. Sometimes I do some gardening or sometimes I just sit and watch them and keep an eye out for cars. Most people in our complex are pretty good at looking out for kids but still I'm not comfortable with them being out front playing alone yet.

 

[Natsku]

I live on a really quiet street, with speed bumps and only people that live here drive on it really. There's a park across the road and quite a few kids around so Maria plays out. To begin with she had to stay in sight of the windows but lately the other kids have started knocking for her so now I let her go play with them and she's allowed to cross the street to go to the park and to ride her bike on the pavement.

Its really safe here and she always checks for cars before crossing the road (plus basically no cars and the ones that do come down here drive carefully because its their kids running around). The kids here are all allowed to play out from around 2/3 years old - Maria usually plays with a girl her age and her little sister and they stay in the communal gardens, the park or in their back garden - so many times I've had to knock at their house asking if Maria is there and there she is eating their food and jumping on their trampoline

I think in a year or so I'd be happy for her to go further down the street to the other park at the bottom of the road as the kids a bit older than her go there already. This is such a safe town really - the only things that concern me are the lake which is about 20 metres behind the house (but none of the kids go there without adults and Maria knows that too) and the railway which is nearby too but the kids aren't allowed that far either.

 

[mum140381]

i saw a 5 year old run over in our old street a few years ago my kids dont play out front until they are 11/12 high school age

 

[Wriggley]

Nah my boys wont be playing out on their own for a long time yet.

we simply dont live on that type of road.. rarely see kids playing out on our street.

Plus we dont live in a safe town... there are alot of drugs an alcohol around it just isnt practical here.

i dont class myself as over protective at all! My 4 year old goes to forest school where they handle fire and use tools/saws/knifes etc... he also goes to our local skatepark for skateboard lessons and i dont worry when hes learning big ramps and stuff that i wouldnt even dream of attempting myself! both my boys climb trees! i have pictures of both of them high up in trees from 18 months old! I have signed a consent form allowing their nursery to take them on what ever trips they like which often includes using a mini bus and going off of our island. when i drop him at nursery i dont have a clue where hes going to be and il pick him up and get told things like they been for on a river boat trip, they went on the train/bus, they went to the beach, shell caves, they when cliff climbing etc...

i dont think not allowing small children to play out is over baring.. it really does depend on each child, where you live, the safety of your road etc... and for us dispite the fact my 4 year old is highly independant our area is just not safe for small children

 

[Natasha2605]

I dread the day mine want to go out and play. Summer is nearly five and I just cannot see it happening any time soon!

 

[EcoMama]

Thanks all. I'm not keen for my kids to explore their freedom. I teach outdoor education & forest school, and teach many activities which are massively risk assessed and controlled (by my experience) but give that perceived risk.
I am trying to bring my children up in a similar way, but the whole playing in the street has thrown me!

 

[Natsku]

Just stick with what you are comfortable with, you can always wait longer if you're not comfortable with it yet.

I love it though - Maria was outside in our back garden barely 5 minutes before she was joined by the 2 year old from down the road and her bigger sister came along a bit later. All the back gardens are open at the back and there's a gravel road behind that is just to provide access for the row of houses behind (so no cars really) so the kids just run up and down there to each other's gardens

 

[jd83]

I'm just entering into this phase too, with kids asking for my kids to come out and play. We actually just had our very first experience with this over the weekend, with neighbor kids knocking on the door to ask if they could come out to play. I'm fine with them going out to play, but they have to have an adult out watching. Either the neighbor kids parents, or myself. We live on a busy street that people fly down, way faster than the posted 25mph, so its just not safe at their ages to trust them with their own safety. They like to ride bikes in the street (we don't have a sidewalk on our street as an alternative), so an adult always has to be watching out for cars to tell them to get over to the side.

 

[bdb84]

I live on a very small, quiet cul-de-sac miles off any main road. You have to be looking for this street to enter it and so it's always residents or family of the residents here. There are 8 kids total on this street and the rest are elderly couples. My kids (9 & 5) are allowed to play in the cul-de-sac, but my 5 year old isn't allowed out without her big brother. They ride their bikes either on the sidewalk, or in the circle, and play basketball/tag in the circle.