Ever Felt.....

[jaytee146]

Tired of being a mom? How selfish of me to say it but that's how I've been feeling lately. I feel as if the days are super long.......... we get started super early in the mornings and majority of the time my toddler is fussing over one thing or another. when her fob comes it's near bed time so he plays with her and she's right off to sleep... I actually over heard him saying he's been out to horse/car shows/parties. ect when the only and I do mean only time I've had out besides work if that counts was a few weeks before my birthday. I felt so overwhelmed this morning around four that I messaged her father and asked for a break. He never responded. Well today my daughter has pretty much thrown tantrum after tantrum ( trying to switch from a bottle to a cup) and I called him in shambles asking that he come by and pick her up for a few hours.. his response was oooo I'm off but I'm out of pocket. it'll be a while... then he questioned me on wanting time to myself. It's so easy for people like him to want more children, because they have nothing to really do with them.. you aren't around for sleepless nights... you only want her when it fits in your schedule.. meanwhile I'm sitting at home wiping pooh... cleaning the same spots over and over and over again and you can come to my home and say It's messy! he has no freaking clue! Maybe a once a month I'd like a evening or day to do as I please. Treat myself to breakfast, maybe a movie or trip to the salon.

I know it's not my lo's fault... but I just miss my old life...just taking care of me and only me... I miss being selfish... I find myself wishing I wasn't a mom... I know if anything happened to my lo i'd go nuts because I love her so much... but I just miss being me... I feel like walking (milk) and a dirt sweeper as whatever she eats ends up on me.....

 

[tiasmummy]

ur child is over a year old i thought it was meant to get easier!!! lol my baby is 4 months old and every day im wishing for her to get older she cries literally ALL DAY! and your right its easy for the dads to carry on reproducing and not dealing with it my FOB has 3 babies by 3 different women and currently working on creating a fourth....he doesnt see any of them except mine (rarely) i miss my old life too your not alone

 

[Danie1stbaby]

First I have to say the bouncing boobs literally had me on my side trying to control my laughter.Wow! lol I totally understand,what makes it worse is that people make you feel like you are old and cold when you become a mother.Life isn't over,you just gotta learn how to be a mom and your old self wrapped into one.I just had my first child this April,it is no joke.These young girls that want to have a child for whatever reason,have a seat please,yes it is beautiful but with beauty comes hardwork to the 3 rd power! my baby never cries,she laughs 24 7,but having to spend my last on diapers or having to ask if I can run to the store so someone can watch her....I have been alone all of my life,so it is weird having a little person staring at you and needing you.a major life adjustment,it is easier to deal with when you do not lose yourself in the process.

 

[lemontree12]

yes i miss my old life every single day, as much as i love my daughter i miss being a person.
my fob doesnt see my daughter at all and i have no family around so my breaks are few and far between. infact i go as far to say they do not exsist.
my new years eve will consist of me battling the bed time routine and if im lucky a bath. i miss not just my old life but a life in general. then i have to look forward to the middle of the night battles which have started to occur lately lasting around 2hours
i recently went on a date with a bloke and have decided to take it no further, i literally dont do anything without my daughter so i cant expect someone to take that on.

i am wishing my life away till the day i can actually get out of bed and plan something for myself. and i dont think its selfish at all, i believe to be a good mum you need to have time away. i find it so frustrating that i done the right thing, but yet im the one without a life. i haye asking anyone to look after her because i feel like a burden so dont bother anymore, not that i get invites anymore because 'i dont have a babysitter'

sorry for the depressive rant but the thought of spending new year on my tod, when im already sleep deprived, somes up how i feel, completely on my own when parenting.

 

[jaytee146]

fob actually rang last night and wanted to know if his mother who's only seen our child about five time.. could watch her while "we" went out.... I said ugh no..and his response was well maybe you can bring her.. there is a MIDNIGHT BOAT RIDE happening and a party and since she'll be sleep you can bring her along.. my answer was are you serious???? and he said well you can't ever say i didn't try to give you a break..you can't ever say that I didn't try... and he says well maybe you can find someone to keep her... He wanted me to know he was going out and had no interest in visiting lo... I got drunken text messages at 4 this morning,... didn't bother to answer them..

I sat at home in my pj's and watched a movie.. after that I kissed lo,, laid beside her and cried myself to sleep..

I realize happiness and life are what you make it... I knew deep down that it was gonna be this way... I'm just down right now....


I can't say I honestly had much of a life prior to lo..but I miss having money and time to myself. Fob lies about paying support...and goes weeks and months on end without seeing her.... but he calls everyday to ask who, what , where, I am and claims it's only because of the baby... he uses her to his advantage... I feel like I'm watching life pass me by... everyone and everything and I'm stuck sitting still with a baby to care for....

 

[ravenmel]

I'm glad it's not just me. I've been pretty strong until this last week. My ex's family and a mutual friend came by to see my kids for xmas. The family lives aboard but my ex lives local. He hasn't seem our kids for a year but tell everyone he can't because I took him to court? I did, but not to stop him seeing the kids and the court wanted to grant him access for the kids and he didn't show up. I've offered loads of times through friends etc. Anyway our mutual friend was telling me how fab my ex's life is now etc and it just made me feel crap. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old (who his never bothered to meet) and recently just feel like calling him and saying take them away. I spent new years crying alone with a glass of wine. I can normally keep it together but I think looking back at the year and what I've had to go through just did it. I'm sick of people around me telling me that I should get him to take care of them and see them like it's that easy. Basically making out that its my fault etc. I'm sick of having to tell my 2 year old off, she's always doing something and I have no extra hands. 4 month old crying coz she wants to be held all the time and I have to do things. Nappy changing, potty training, cooking dinner, bath time, cleaning up, etc etc and hearing his partying it up, living the good life with all his new friends and probably spending money on some new girlfriend I'm surprised I haven't cracked before. I wanted children but I never signed up to do it alone, I thought if we ever broke up he'd still be a good dad, he sure fooled me.

 

[Dezireey]

Well I get this from time to time but thankfully its fleeting and things are back to normal. My LO can have some days/hours or just moments when I want to leave the house, run away as far as I can and imagine I am a millionairess and can go book myself into a spa, go shopping for loads of clothes and make up, go do 'lunch' with my mates and have cocktails and get pissed....I have had days when I am having this yummy daydream LOL.

Ah, then reality hits. I guess I'm a bit better off ladies perhaps as I am touching 40 next year and I have done sooo much already I have a bit of a sense of peace about things and would rather be bringing up my boy, nappies, baby puke and all than my old life.

All I can say is, speaking as an older lass is that you will get your life back soon and things won't seem so 'restricted' or 'trapped' for you. what you feel is normal and most women have gone through it, even the ones with partners ( at least we don't have the added build up of resentment towards our fellas that work and come home and then refuse to look after the baby) Try to just hold onto the good days and times and treasure them e.g baby having a right giggle and a first word popping out etc. And before long, they will be in school and that gives mums a big break and changes the whole routine again.

 

[jaytee146]

I actually planned on going home (stayed at my mother's for new years eve) I think I may just get my work clothes and stay the night... I'm just not feeling up to going home at this point... I'm so short tempered right now with lo I'm afraid i might loose my temper and yell or spank her (when that's now what I believe in)

 

[Rhio92]

I feel like this a lot. Yeah, it sounds horrible, but it's true. We're not sayin we don't love our kids to pieces but it's exhausting. I hate fOB sometimes. He always goes on about how easy being a dad is. Yeah, because he does fuck all. It's easy to do nothimg. 4 hours, 1 day a week is fucking easy. 24 hours, 6 days a week, and 20 hours on the 7th day isn't easy.

We all know how you feel, odn't feel bad xxx