Ever wished you had kept your mouth shut?

[misslissa]

I made the mistake of telling my colleague that I'm TTC, she asks me about it all the time, only because she is excited but she even knows where about I am in my cycle! She is WTT so I'm her sort or sounding board and we love our baby chats but now I wish I had kept my mouth firmly shut.

Its our 3rd month, well we've been trying since Jan but missed last month as OH was away, its getting more serious now and I don't really want to share my dissapointment with anyone apart from my OH. She said the other day, "I think this will be the first month you will be proper dissapointed if you aren't pregnant" - how do you react to that?? Well I know how I reacted, I just said "no, no there's no rush, so long as it happens this year" inside I was thinking yes I will be mega dissapointed and I want to hide it from everyone apart from OH.

Lesson learned, keep shctum!

 

[nuffmac]

Oh no - that sounds really frustrating. you could try putting in your ipod every time she starts talking and she might get the hint!!

 

[Madgirl]

I like the ipod idea!! She'll get the hint real quick with that!

 

[misslissa]

Ha ha, I like the idea in theory but we work on our own most of the time so its very hard not to engage in conversation!

Oh well, nowt I can do about it now, damage is done. I had considered saying we were having a break from TTC to throw her off but I'm a rubbish liar!

 

[Madgirl]

Thats not a bad idea, telling her you are on a break. That would probably get her off your back!

 

[misslissa]

Hmmm, if I'm not preggo this month I may have to rethink my strategy. Damn me for being so open! Will I never learn....

 

[nuffmac]

I'm worse. I haven't the guts to tell anyone I'm ttc. When people ask me do I want a baby I say - Oh no , don't have time, or maybe we will someday etc, etc..

I just couldn't face it if they knew how much I really wanted a baby. - Is that weird?

 

[HopefulKirsty]

know the feeling! i told one friend and thats it
yesterday another friend commented on my fb status asking if i was pg and I made a joke out of it, then today my gran phones and starts asking when we are thinging of trying. I told her not for a long time. I'm afraid of not being able to coneive and everyone knowing I cant do it. So I understand what you mean about wanting to keep the dissapointment between you and oh - thats what I'm like too.

 

[Kadan82]

Yeah or like me after ttc for 6 months I needed someone to confide in and told my competitive (didn't realize it was in EVERY area of life!) SIL who is 5 years younger than me and then she decides because I was trying she wanted to too so it turns into a "race" and she wins. Now she is 4 months pregnant and I'm STILL trying! Stupid me for opening my mouth, I sure learned my lesson!

 

[silverbell]

That's precisely why nobody knows apart from you guys and us. There's no way I'd want anybody else to know due to wondering why it was taking us so long etc.

In this situation it could go from just annoying to plain upsetting and for that reason I would definitely have to say something to her. I think I'd tell her that I am very happy to have baby chats, but that I was not going to talk about my cycles or whether I am or am not pregnant. I would just be honest and tell her that sometimes it can take a while to get pregnant and it can be quite upsetting if you're being asked about it after a while or at certain points in your cycle.

Hopefully she will completely understand and will back off a bit. I wouldn't offer any more information at all about your cycles or trying or anything to do with that and hopefully that'll work.

 

[Tattoo]

I haven't told people "in real life", but obviously there's BnB, and I've also told some of the women on another forum I use (it's a riot grrl, feminist forum I've been using for over ten years).
Some friends of ours have an eleven month old daughter, and are always asking when we're having one. I keep saying "Eventually, when we're ready..." etc, but part of me wants to tell them we're trying. They went through a miscarriage (unplanned pregnancy, but still a very sad time) about seven years ago, so I think they'd be quite understanding about the situation.

 

[peaberry]

Yikes, I know the feeling. I made the mistake of telling my innocent yet extremely candid best friend who also works with me, and she likes to openly ask about my "egg" and if I'm "planting seeds". She means ZERO harm but her excitement is sometimes proportionate to my embarrassment and private disappointment.

The flip side though? She's SO supportive and gives me lots of comfort when she knows I'm down about TTC.

 

[misslissa]

I think I was just so excited to be TTC that I let myself go too far. The questions are meant nicely but until she starts TTC it's impossible for her to understand it's a tricky area.

I've just not discussed it much this last week and I'm hoping she doesn't ask about where I am in my cycle! Yes she is too nosey, I'd never ask that question, butshe doesn't realise I'm trying to claw back some secrecy.

As for the SIL post, omg I know how you feel, we are both TTC at the same time - oh yeah she knows too.... I'll be gutted if she gets there first.