Explaining things to kids

[tasha41]

When you split, how did you explain it to your children?

I think FOB and I are done. But I'm not sure how to explain things to our 4.5 year old daughter.

We had a big blow out last night and he told me I had to go to my mom's, and this morning our daughter did not want to go to school and we were almost late. I don't think she overheard things but she obviously senses the tension and we shut the door in the living room (she went to play in her playroom) while we said our piece to each other.

 

[Jox]

My boys r only 3 & 1 so I haven't really needed to explain anything to them tbh. All I can say is they r very resilient and mine have barely even asked where dad is :-/ x

 

[Mummy1995]

I would say it simply but straight. Mummy and daddy have decided that they want to live in different houses. So that means you will have some special days with mummy and some special days with daddy.

Or something similar xx

 

[Dezireey]

I haven't experienced this myself but I recommend just being honest without going into too much 'adult' detail that they won't understand. Just be patient with her and let her ask questions. She will eventually adjust, it will take time. More detail and good,long discussions about Dad ( I personally think ) should be left for when a child is much older, even a teenager or adult in some instances.

 

[Dream.dream]

I would say it simply but straight. Mummy and daddy have decided that they want to live in different houses. So that means you will have some special days with mummy and some special days with daddy.

Or something similar xx

Basically this but make sure to add that you both still love her and make sure your ex partner knows to not say anything bad and that if you can approach it together

 

[tasha41]

Thanks ladies. We've decided to put our best effort into making it work for now- both of us have improvements to make, although I think both of us "blame" the other a bit more than ourselves.. trying to just do a fresh start. We'll see how it goes.