Failing at NTNP

[tinymumma]

So we're on cycle #10 of TTC #2. Hubby and I sat down and spoke about all our feelings and we agreed to start NTNP. It didn't seem that hard as we never BD on a schedule and just whenever we want. Since hubby has an insatiable appetite, BD is always around the right time anyway. It's not like we can predict O regardless since OPKS would be too hard with a 19 month old and I only temp.
Now at 5 DPO though I'm feeling so weepy and defeated. It took just under 3 years for DS to be conceived and that's why we agreed to start NTNP as my mental health got down to hell last time. I can feel it starting again and I don't know how to stop feeling like this. Being that it's only 10 cycles so far this time, you'd think with my history I'd be able to handle it better but that's not the case.
I'm not symtpom spotting but I just can't help but feel like it's not going happen anytime soon and I just want to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep for a few weeks. Only 4 days until AF is offically due but since I'm taking Vitex, if that day passes, I'll be in limbo and I've promised myself I won't test until 14 DPO as I only have one FRER left.
I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling right now except for that I'm borderline about to break down crying, have been since last night.
I wish I could just switch off from it all

 

[krissie328]

I am sorry you are struggling so much!! I am awful at NTNP so I can relate. Maybe it would be good to take a complete break and not temp or anything for a cycle?

Also, maybe talk with your doctor about your emotional well being. Or even a counselor? I suffer from anxiety and we were ltttc our DS. When we decided to ttc #2 I quickly fell into the mental state I was with lttc #1. It is an awful place to be. And now after 18 months mostly ttc #2 it has taken a lot from me emotionally. I found seeking counseling was very helpful and helped me avoid anti-depressives.

 

[Chai_w]

I find the best thing to help when I'm getting really bad is to try to distract myself as much as possible. The last cycle where I was so sure it was going to happen crushed my spirit really badly ended up having a delayed o and a 54 day cycle that screwed up my average for awhile.

Personally I'm ntnp #1 so my distractions are traveling around my beautiful state this summer and trying to be more social. There are also some cool concerts, games, and movies I am looking forward too this year. These things help keep me distracted for most of my cycle I really only get super focused close to my AF due date or if my broodiness gets overzealous than I hop on here for a little.

Are there any mommy groups you could join that may help take your mind off things for a little and help get out of the house, or other goals that could help take some of your attention away? On the plus side you do have an LO so you know your system works, even if it isn'tisn't as fast as you'd have hoped.

 

[tinymumma]

Thank you ladies. I've just been out of sorts the past few days. I think it's just PMS since the Vitex is upping my hormones. Still feeling teary and like poo but hubby and I are taking our little bloke to the park to play basketball this afternoon when hubby finishes work. Another public holiday on Monday for us, so two long weekends in a row. I've only been getting down when DS is sleeping. Browsing through the pregnancy test section and first and second Tri, looking at bumps, probably isn't helping me any
What will be, will be. It's just hard sometimes to remember that ultimately its out of my hands and the Universe always provides when the time is right