Father of 4yo boy looking for advice

[SKYROCKET2014]

Hi everyone, I'm currently a father to a 4 yo boy from a previous relationship, I have him usually twice a week for a couple of hours and every other weekend for the whole weekend to sleep over. I'm in another relationship and have been for around 2 years, my girlfriend and I have recently found out she's pregnant and is going to be moving in with me which is all good. Only thing that concerns me is she's telling me that I need to get my son into a routine of sleeping in his air bed I bought him before she would even contemplate spending the night at mine, I personally think it's silly and unnecessary making him sleep on an uncomfortable blow up bed on the floor when I've got a perfectly good double bed he can sleep in with me until she moves in. He's always shared a bed with me whenever I've had him overnight, my girlfriend thinks there's something very strange and weird about me sharing a bed with my son who's 4 soon to be 5. I'd like people's honest opinion on this, I do have a spare room in which I would've eventually made up for him.

 

[broodymrs]

I don't think sharing a bed with your son is weird but I can understand her not wanting him in the bed once she's living there. Personally I'd get the spare room done for him so he has a proper bed then he can trial it when she stays before she properly moves in.

 

[SKYROCKET2014]

She thinks I'm babying him and it's really not normal, I just don't like how she's trying to tell me how to parent my son

 

[george83]

Agree with pp that it's understandable that she wouldn't want him sharing a bed with you all when she moves in, although your reply makes it sound as if there is more to it that simply where your son sleeps

 

[SKYROCKET2014]

I've told her he won't be sharing a bed with me when she moves in but insists in the mean time I make him sleep on the air bed on the floor even though she doesn't even stay here at the moment, I personally think it's a bit cruel but she thinks I'm being unreasonable and we had a big argument about it.

 

[Springflower]

I feel like he is your child and still little, if he wants to sleep in your bed then he should.

I don't understand why he has to sleep in the air bed? Seems mean. I feel very different about life since kids. I expect once she has the baby she will feel differently

 

[ClairAye]

No, I don't see why he should sleep on an airbed instead of in your bed. She isn't living there yet so in my opinion she has no say on sleeping arrangements.

 

[jessmke]

I agree that it is not her place to tell you how to parent, especially when she isn't even living with you yet. However, if you plan on having your son sleep in the second bedroom once your girlfriend moves in with you, I would personally think it's better to have him used to sleeping in that room before she moves in. You don't want him to feel like he has been kicked out of your bedroom to make room for her, I imagine that might create some issues between your son and girlfriend. If he is already used to sleeping in his own room then he won't feel as though she is taking "his" place in your bedroom.

 

[Tropiclands]

Maybe you need to find out why this bothers your girlfriend? If you really want what's best for your son, then maybe this relationship isn't for you? That might be worth considering also.

 

[daneuse27]

I agree that kicking him out of the bed once she moves in will look like he was replaced by her, and you don't want him feeling like that. Weaning him off your bed (if you want to of course) is a good thing to do gradually before her move so that his routine isn't disrupted too much.

Your son has probably been through a lot.. his parents breaking up/not being together, and now his 'time with dad' is suddenly going to be shared with another woman and a new baby. This may all be hard on him. I hope that you can all go about it in a way that puts his feelings first. Your girlfriend needs to see why thats important, if she's worth keeping around.