Father that NEEDS advice! :(

[Teenfather]

hi, i got this girl pregnant, shes 14 now and im 15, shes due in june but my family are having non of it... They believe the dates cant be true and they have worked them out and the baby is not mine...... Because of this ive basically been isolated from the girl, her family want nothing to do with me because my parents dont like them and im really confused ........ The problem is, because my mum and dad dont think the baby is mine, im not in his life, her family gave him a name (louis) they moved an hour drive away and im scared if it is mine i wont be in his life.....Which is kinda good because that burden wont beon me, but super bad coz my own child will think im a horrible father please any advice? im really scared tbh

 

[Lucy139]

You need to talk to your parents and tell them exactly how you feel, hopefully they will understand and will help you through it?! Maybe think about getting a Dna test done, surely your parents will want to know if they are grandparents too!
If you feel you can't talk to your parents maybe speak to a teacher or something at school and see if they can help you?

Hope you get things sorted!!

 

[BabyCleo]

I would ask for a DNA/paternity test to be done. Those results will be clear as day! After that, you can decide what to do. Remember, its you and the girls baby. Not your/her parents. Stick up for what you and the girl want.

 

[skyesmom]

can you talk to a councilor in your school and explain them the situation? or go to a planned parenthood and talk to them? they could maybe give you an advice and help you if your family doesn't.

i agree with the previous posters, demand a DNA test so you know for sure.
the way your family is dealing with the situation is not good, i understand they want to protect you but IF there is a chance that the baby is yours (and according to what YOU say, it IS), cutting you off and prohibiting you to see the girl is NOT a way to go. they can't undo the baby and the pregnancy, as much as they would want to.

did your family explain you HOW they calculated the dates? why they are 100% sure the baby isn't yours? if you remember any of those dates, post them here, i'm sure there's many ladies here that can do those calculations and at least give you their opinion. but without a DNA test you can never be sure.

i agree it is important to tell your family how you feel, even if they are being a poor support to you. they need to know that this is affecting you emotionally a lot, even if the child is not yours - until that's proven you're in a limbo and it is a hard thing to deal with. fear, guilt, and also a desire to be present in your child life are all there now, whether the baby is yours or not and your parents need to know that. maybe address this question with your school councilor first, and maybe have them call your parents and talk all together about it, rather than you alone with them if you don't feel comfortable with this option.

but the DNA test is a must.

 

[Topanga053]

I agree with the others. Get a DNA test. If the baby is yours, as young as you are, the mother is even younger. Even though having a child this young will be exceptionally difficult, if the baby is yours, it is because YOU and the mom made the decision to have sex. Whether you're ready or not, if it's yours, you are going to become a father and nothing can undo that. All that matters going forward is what you are going to do about it. And even though you're young, IMO, that child deserves to have both parents in its life, nor should the mother and her family have to do this alone. If it's yours, that baby is half of you and it deserves to have you in its life. I'm sure your parents will come around in time.

I wish you absolutely the best of luck; I can only imagine how difficult this is. Please update us if you feel comfortable!

 

[jlw617]

Yes get a Dna test, then there will be no questions, it's not her parents or your patents baby and even though you are young, if you are this child's father then you need to be a part of his/her life. You are young enough to imagine what it would be like, imagine you are where you're at now and your father never played a role in your life, even though you won't fully grasp it, you can imagine the pain you would feel, you sound concerned which is good, most young men your age would not seek out support like you're doing now, you're on the right track!

 

[skyesmom]

reading the original post, what i understand is that he wants to be in his childs' life, if the baby is his, and that he doesn't agree with his parents decisions of cutting him off the girl, nor with her parents decision of not allowing him to see her because his family was rude to them.

and he's overwhelmed by all of it, the responsibility AND the fact that his parents are being more harmful than supportive.