Feel so bitter and cant be happy for my friend

[Muffin36]

Hi Ladies, im feeling a bit of a b***h at the moment, a close friend of mine who is my partners cousin has just announced that she is pregnant and no matter how much I want to be happy for her I cant, I feel so bitter and resentful that its not me. I have been trying 2 years she has been trying about a month. Does anybody else feel this way just so I know im not alone xx

 

[Amber3]

Dear Muffin
I think most people here on this forum can relate to how you are feeling now. I also find it very difficult to be happy when I see that people are pregnant because it confronts you intensely with your own infertility.
Sometimes I get angry about living here where I live to the point of wanting to move because there are so incredibly many people with big bellys and babies here.
I wish you all the best,
Amber

 

[Armywife84]

Ha, Amber are you in the military? Because I can't go a single day without seeing a pregnant woman everywhere I go. There's been times of where I've stayed home for days on end and made my husband go run errands for me because I didn't feel like coming face to face with a bump that day.

Muffin- It happens to all of us. We're mad at the fact they can get pregnant at the drop of a hat when we've been trying for what seems like an eternity. Deep down inside you're probably happy for her, but you can't express it like you want to. Just give yourself some space in this friendship and time to accept her pregnancy. Do what's best for you and whatever will help you keep it together.

 

[bexxc]

a close friend of mine got pregnant after her first month of trying and when she told me, i just wanted to hit her or run away or something. i know that's just terrible and i really do feel horrible about it. she knows all about my lttc issues and has always been so supportive and such a good sounding board for me yet i still can't seem to make myself feel truly happy for her when i feel like it just should have been my turn. there's nothing wrong with the way you feel--ttc just isn't fair!

 

[Jasiellover]

Sorry you're feeling this way! I would be the same way too. It's so hard :/

 

[LizMcD]

Hi u r completely normal. I would certainly would feel the same. I've had to leave facebk because I couldn't deal with the endless preg announcements. I feel bad I can't be happy for others bit I know I will get through this. My Sis (a mum of two) said last night how she wud like one more but I dint know how I'd cope if she announced a third preg after I'm struggling to have one. But I know I'll have one, u just have to protect urself frm the hurt and pain.

Good luck hunny, we are all in the same boat and I, for one, understand

Sending baby dust ur way xx

 

[Armywife84]

Hi u r completely normal. I would certainly would feel the same. I've had to leave facebk because I couldn't deal with the endless preg announcements. I feel bad I can't be happy for others bit I know I will get through this. My Sis (a mum of two) said last night how she wud like one more but I dint know how I'd cope if she announced a third preg after I'm struggling to have one. But I know I'll have one, u just have to protect urself frm the hurt and pain.

Good luck hunny, we are all in the same boat and I, for one, understand

Sending baby dust ur way xx

I here you on leaving FB. The PG announcements are ridiculous. I dread logging on because I know there will be another soon.

I'm dealing with my SIL's pregnancy (unfortunately we had a falling out due to her rude remarks) and I know once my other SIL's DH comes back from deployment that they'll probably try for their 2nd. While here I am still at 0 . I don't need anymore nieces and nephews, I need to be a mother!!

 

[IrishGirl]

Hey hunIf you didnt feel like this you wouldnt be normal lol.I got like this a good bit.Its not a bad thing its a natural thing.We only reacently fell pregnant after 5.5 years.It used to piss me off when i saw people complaing "sooo stressed!!TTC 2months" lol.
Massive hugs to you hun and tonnes of baby dust and lucky Irish dustxx

 

[lexibbyx]

i had a friend fall pregnant after 7 months of trying. i want to be happy for her but its get extremely aggravating when she comes around becuz all she wants to tlk about is the baby this the baby that and show me her ultrasound. and always wants to use my laptop to see what her babys doing this week.....its horrible tons of baby dust to all

 

[Amber3]

Actually I live in a Catholic Family Institute. So everywhere I look people live out the blessing of giving life. I have 2 neighbours with two gorgeous (?) children, one with grown children, one with 4 children, they just had nr 4, one with 2 children and one on the way ... the people who live across from us are infertile too though. But this is the picture in the place where I live. Always at least one or two are pregnant and there are always little cute babies. It is a lovely place to live , really, if you have children. But it can be really hard for people like me
Amber

 

[Tanzibar83]

Muffin36, the girls have pretty much summed it up already but my advice to you is to find a hobby or activity so it takes your mind off the fact everyone else around you is falling pregnant cause it's a stressful time when a friend announces they're pregnant.

My friend started TTC no 2 when I started TTC 1 and she fell pregnant and now has a 2 month old where I have nothing. I haven't told anyone about TTC so her announcement last december was nothing short of a shock to which I was so horrified at I just couldn't bring myself to meeting up with her and I would have succeeded but I accidentally saw her a couple of weeks before she was due and I wanted to run a mile in the opposite direction.

It is hard and one of things that your advised to do while TTC is to stay away from any kids parties you may be invited to or keep your distance with those BFP friends as it adds too much stress which is what you don't need.

Keep your chin up and if need be either talk to your friend or keep your distance, don't torture yourself over it!

 

[mg80]

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[Damita]

 

[Fuchsia1412]

I think you have to keep reminding yourself that they're not flaunting/showing off how rapidly they got pregnant..just being pregnant I suppose (in most cases) ..to actually use their pregnancy as an excuse to make others feel bad would be..inexcusable. but everyone wants others to feel happy for them, and noone wants to feel like they have to excuse themselves, or like things should have been harder for them. It's very tough..but we would hardly want our friends to lie and pretend it took longer than it did, to appease us. I suppose it depends how good a friend it is really..

 

[Armywife84]

I can totally relate to this. I deleted my Facebook a few months ago because it was too painful seeing all the pregnancy announcements!

ArmyWife, I loved your comment: "I don't need any more nieces and nephews, I need to be a mother!" - exactly how I feel. Me & DH get his sister's kids shoved down our throats by my in-laws all the time and it hurts and stresses me out and my SIL loves to flaunt her pregnancies in our faces. Then my brother also has two kids and my mum is always telling me funny things they did etc, and I'm like "Argh, I can't deal"! I just wonder if it will ever be my turn

Lol, I know I'm good with the nieces and nephew I got now. It was upsetting for me to find out my one SIL is pregnant with her third, I just felt like she took my turn. Then when I tried to explain to her my feelings (she already knows what I'm going thru) she just shut me down, called me selfish to my DH and said I'm talking to the wrong person about TTC. Excuse me??? She got pregnant with her fraternal twins on her first round of Clomid( she didn't have PCOS or endo, just too low of estrogen levels) in the 13 month of TTC. So now I hate her for saying all that about me to my DH. She's married to his brother.

 

[Tanzibar83]

Armywife that sounds like a right horrible thing she did. I get the impression that the women who get the quick pregnancies just don't understand how hard it is for the rest of us. Sure they can spin off the usual "it'll happen when it happens" milarky but unless they spend ages and ages trying then they just assume we must be instantly jealous!

 

[Armywife84]

Armywife that sounds like a right horrible thing she did. I get the impression that the women who get the quick pregnancies just don't understand how hard it is for the rest of us. Sure they can spin off the usual "it'll happen when it happens" milarky but unless they spend ages and ages trying then they just assume we must be instantly jealous!

Oh Tanzi, I hate her now. I would never say mean things about her behind her back to her husband. Just can't call someone like that family.

 

[Nissie]

Hi Muffin,

Most of us can relate to how your feeling, sometimes I feel like such a bad person for having these thoughts or feelings, but it's normal after all this struggle. It just gets so hard at times to realize that us women, who truly want a child go through so much pain and at times disappointment. Keep strong and hope you get your BFP soon! Take care Hun!