Feel so miserable. Not coping with retaining my weight. Hating BF :'(

[sandilion]

Just like with my son I am once again retaining all of my weight, even while on a healthy diet. It's making me wish i could just quit BF so i can start on my weight loss journey as I am seriously feeling depressed and miserable.

I know i prob sound pathetic. I have always been a person that has kept myself fit and trim, but i gained a lot of weight for both pregnancies. After i stopped BF my son a 9 months 9due to returning to work) I lost it all. Now its all back on but i just don't know if i can last another several months being this weight.

I don't have time to exercise right now while bubs is so young still and with a toddler. Its just not happening and i give up on that idea right now, as the way thing have been going I have been getting depressed and feeling my days are a big failure due to not being able to exercise.

If i try to diet at all I just go into starvation mode because of the hormones making milk. From eating really lean and healthy i gained 4 kilos in 2 weeks

Seriously contemplating just putting her onto formula, so i can be a happy mum... but i can't bring myself to do it. Anyone else dealing with this also? Sadly for me if i am not happy with the way i look it effects me in a lot of ways.

 

[HBGirl]

If you are unhappy then you should switch.

 

[shinona]

I know it's hard and I feel the same way. I'd love to really get the weight off but my body just holds on to it while I'm feeding. I know you've said you've no time for exercise but remember that even a brisk walk with the pram counts and might brighten your spirits. I actually made it to the gym the other day because ds#1 was at a party in the sports hall next door and dh had the two little ones at the park just outside. That one hour really lifted my spirits.
What about making yourself feel good about yourself in other ways? New haircut? Mani? Pedi?
Honestly, I wouldn't switch but it is entirely up to you. I know you're unhappy with your body just now but you are giving your baby the best you can. It is only a short time in the grand scheme of things. You will get your body back soon.
But weigh up the options for you.....xx

 

[wish4baby]

I'm right with you! I gain while pregnant then do not lose a pound while BF'ing. I was down about it and unhappy for awhile.

1 month ago, I decided to finally do something about it. My LO had just turned 9 months and was starting to eat more solid food (she was still nursing a lot though).

I started a low carb diet - basically doing the phase 2 of the Atkins diet. Also, I put baby in her wrap (and could push another in a stroller, but my older dd rides her bike) and I walk, fast. Almost every day. In a month I lost 20 pounds and dropped several sizes (I really think the power walking with baby in the wrap built a ton of muscle!).

Baby girl still loves to nurse, and there haven't been any changes in her eating, she's gaining and super healthy! I feed her solid food 3 times a day and she nurses on demand.

I know your LO is a lot younger, so for now I'd just concentrate on eating healthy - maybe cutting out all refined sugar and starches, trying to walk & focusing on doing the best thing for your baby. You'll have forever to be thin & fit, and really just a short time to bf, if you look at the big picture.

 

[sandilion]

Thanks heaps for your replies. Yeah its good to hear from other people that its really just a short time in the grand scheme of things. I tell myself that all the time but i tend to not believe it until someone else reminds me of it.

I BF my son for 9 months (then had to return to work) but i am so proud of those 9 months I BF him for.

It doesn't help that my narcissistic mother has been reminding me that i am carrying weight and constantly telling me to stop BF so i can 'take better care of my appearance'

I think what is also bothering me, is when i went through this when BF my son, my DH also started flirting online with a very slim mutual friend. It really effected me, and the memories seem to be flooding back as i am back here again, fat and BF.

I guess whats also frustrating me is i know exactly how to lose it, but i know it wont be good while BF (Starting off with a detox diet, then low carb... etc. The detox is not good for BF)

But thank you for putting it into perspective. You're right, maybe doing something with my hair will help. I'll look into it. So tired of feeling so down.

 

[sandilion]

I k now if i stop now i will feel guilty for the rest of my life. I guess i just feel like I am trapped. Ill try and get out for morning walks.

 

[shinona]

Big hugs to you xx

 

[HBGirl]

OK, if it will affect you for the rest of your life, don't switch. I know you have had hell with your DH but remember you are so much more then his issues.

 

[irish_cob]

I think your weight is not your issue at all, it's your inconsiderate mother and husband. I am so cross on your behalf now. You had a baby 3 months ago for flips sake! That's no time at all! At 3 months old (with a 2yr old too) I was just grateful for a shower twice a week and to find something to wear that wasn't covered in baby sick/paint/unidentified sludge!! How dare your mother tell you to take care of your appearance! Arrgh, talk about kicking you when you're down. Your family should be proud of you and telling you what a great job you're doing feeding a young baby, meeting all her needs and looking after her, not criticising your weight - which is just a number!

9-12 months is a very short length of time - it flies by with a young family. I think you'd beat yourself up really badly if you gave up bfing and that wouldn't be good for your self esteem either. You need some close friends to build you up seeing as your family seem to be shallow jerks!

 

[Larkspur]

I think you could probably immediately lose at least 90 pounds of upsetting, unnecessary weight by telling your mother to piss off, haha.

 

[leash27]

Have you thought about trying a healthy eating plan like Slimming World? I've been following this since September and have lost almost 2 stone already whilst still BF. They have a plan designed for BF mums to ensure you are getting a good, balanced diet that should not affect your supply. I am really enjoying it and it honestly doesn't feel like I'm dieting. I also haven't exercised at all so far as I'm far too lazy but still managing to lose weight every week.

X