Feeling a tad lonely

[dustbunny]

The past couple of weeks I have felt quite lonely and I think it is because I have finally begun to accept that the relationship I had anticipated with FOB is never going to happen. I think when we first broke up I thought he would try and grow up and see what he was missing. Then when that failed I thought he would at least still be supportive of the pregnancy and LO but again, no. Since the argument and the message to my sister he hasn't bothered phoning. It is far too late for apologies now and it makes me feel really guilty as if it is I who has done something wrong.

But I have caught myself missing being with someone, I look back at previous relationships and missing elements of them but, surprisingly, none of the missed memories are anything to do with FOB. I can categorically say I actually do not miss any element of what our relationship was at all, everything was flawed and it has taken me this long to see it all so clearly. I know there are many of my posts with individual elements I didn't like but it seems today has been the day of major realisation. I find that in itself quite a sad thought.


Really random post, just one of those days I think.

 

[peapod11]

im having one of these bad days too, bit upset in the afternoon, but cant even manage to smile at the moment.
me personally i miss lazy sundays with my ex prob one of the things that got me down today, just thinking about what he is prob doing.

i meet up with my fob during the week and he seems to be dealing with things just as bad as me (he had lost tons of weight, beard grown, couldnt stop crying when i was there) and even though i told him i want to drawm a line under our relationship and move on (as only a few days before he said he still didnt want to be a parent) i thought i cant fight anymore. he has insisted that we stay in touch and text then arrange to met soon... he said mayb in time he can be a parent then mayb who knows in the future we could get bad... theres too many maybs for me, although i want nothing more than to be a couple again theres nothing in stone.
i texted a few days later, saying i couldnt live my life like this, he could prob tell i was in a mess and he told be not to be silly and to stick with what we agree. iv heard nothing since, not even a are u ok message, when clearly he must no im not

sorry iv went on, and i hope ur ok... if u ever need a chat im here xxx

 

[AbbynChloe]

think we should start a Lonely Ladies therapy group??

What i find really hard to deal with is that this mad who i my daughters father, we were once best friends, I could tell him anything. ano now i feel like I have no one to talk to.

It's almost like he has the key to end all my unhappiness, and yet chooses to watch me suffer. its a horrible feeling.

I hope I haven't hi jacked your thread - i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this xxx

 

[peapod11]

Yes agree on the key to unlock my unhappiness! He just has to try and it would make me the happiest person in the world! But instead I'm dying

 

[AbbynChloe]

Yes agree on the key to unlock my unhappiness! He just has to try and it would make me the happiest person in the world! But instead I'm dying

im so sorry my love. it's sad because the don't realise what and impact their behaviour and words have on us. xxx

 

[dustbunny]

I just don't understand men at all. From my point of view I don't get how someone can say they want to be a father and then abandon that. I know I broke up with him but instead of stepping up to the plate he threw a temper tantrum, blamed me for everything and has literally walked away but expects me to be OK with everything. Even people on the outside of the situation have told me he is a bully and possessive.
I think all these FOB's should be put on an island, a very lonely island with nothing more than basic rations and so much time on their hands that all they can do is try to deal with their own conscience.

Major hugs to us all I think

 

[AbbynChloe]

I just don't understand men at all. From my point of view I don't get how someone can say they want to be a father and then abandon that. I know I broke up with him but instead of stepping up to the plate he threw a temper tantrum, blamed me for everything and has literally walked away but expects me to be OK with everything. Even people on the outside of the situation have told me he is a bully and possessive.
I think all these FOB's should be put on an island, a very lonely island with nothing more than basic rations and so much time on their hands that all they can do is try to deal with their own conscience.

Major hugs to us all I think

Dustbunny I completly agree! I don't get it at all! What gets me is that Chloe's dad is always telling me how much he "thinks" about her..... well isn't that just lovely??

Even when I had my mini breakdown, all he kept asking me was how long i expected him to look after Chloe and how we need to discuss this as it cant happen again!

these errant poor excuses of men are a totally different species to what we know can exsist!!

 

[dustbunny]

Dustbunny I completly agree! I don't get it at all! What gets me is that Chloe's dad is always telling me how much he "thinks" about her..... well isn't that just lovely??

Even when I had my mini breakdown, all he kept asking me was how long i expected him to look after Chloe and how we need to discuss this as it cant happen again!

these errant poor excuses of men are a totally different species to what we know can exsist!!

Ah the same line... FOB says "i think about you and the baby from the time i wake up till the time i go to sleep" but what he fails to tag on is... ahem... "but i am a lazy fucker who would rather spend money on things i enjoy and therefore will not be contributing anything towards our daughter even though I have said i will. I won't be phoning you about updates as it is your responsibility to act as my personal PA. I know you dont want to get back together but i find it so fun to try and bully you into getting back with me or going on antidepressants. I am a waste of space loser and accept I am wasting precious oxygen which could be better used supporting a decent human being."

... at least that is how I imagine the explanation of his pathetic ass going. Haha!

 

[Laura2919]

I feel alone sometimes soon but I know the feeling will pass and it's not like I want to be back with FOB because I know that I don't. It's like you say missing having somebody around, to talk to, to share things with but I know I am not ready to make someone my everything I haven't got the time to right now. Eventually someone will come along that I want to do that with but until then I am happy most of the time

 

[MommaAlexis]

Haha I've heard it all from people who know sperm donor. A lot of people are trying to tell me what he's said about what 'really' happened. I don't care to know, really. I know the truth and so do the people I love. He can tell his friends until he's blue in the face, it doesn't affect my life. I've been almost thankful for him not getting in touch with me! There's things I miss but his recent actions changed how I see him and I really just cut all emotional ties.

 

[teal]

Hope you're feeling better

I can't believe how far along you are now! xx

 

[dustbunny]

Hope you're feeling better

I can't believe how far along you are now! xx

I know its like a month and a day to go!!! EXCITING!!

Am feeling much better today, have decided that today is the start of a new chapter and FOB is now in the past, it is way too late and I have turned over a new page. If he contacts me I'm just going to ignore him from now on, I have reached the point where both my head and heart have caught up and I'm not waiting around anymore.



Thank you

 

[teal]

That is exciting

Glad to hear you're feeling much better today Definitely sounds like a good plan to ignore him. You deserve to enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy xx