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Feeling annoyed about Christmas access

Maybe you could say to him he could come Xmas Eve and LO can open the presents he bought, then Xmas Day can be your day..
 
Oh and if he starts talking to you like crap, you have every right to throw him out and enjoy the rest of the festive season without him! :thumbup:
 
Definitely, he has no right to talk to the mother of his child in a bad way. When I went to get the rest of my things from the flat, I half expected him to try and win me back but he spoke to me like crap once again lol, if he came here and did that now, he would get a slap!

I think the Xmas Eve thing is probably the best solution for both in that case then, once you get that out of the way you can forget about him and enjoy it with the people who matter. :hugs:
 
My mum NEVER let my dad see me or my sister on Christmas Day, but we always spent Boxing Day with dad. I would have liked to see him Christmas Day though... Xx
 
Do what's right for you :hugs: you don't need someone treating you like that any time never mind on your LO's first xmas.

I do think the wording of the last comment above isn't helpful. This is the single parents forum. A lot of us have had abusive relationships or painful breakups, I think the "NEVER let" is a bit harsh. It's not always as simple as that.
 
Do what's right for you :hugs: you don't need someone treating you like that any time never mind on your LO's first xmas.

I do think the wording of the last comment above isn't helpful. This is the single parents forum. A lot of us have had abusive relationships or painful breakups, I think the "NEVER let" is a bit harsh. It's not always as simple as that.

What on earth...? The poster was saying her mother never let them see their dad on christmas. It's a statement, and I don't see how you could be offended by it. It doesn't sound from the OP's post like she has any issue with actually letting LO see her Dad, and of course it's best for a child to be able to see both parents where possible.

I kind of forget about christmas tbh. It's just a day (unless you're deeply religious) and can be recreated on another day around the 25th. Are you going to be able to see people on 25th, other than your Mum? I personally found it easier to let LO go for christmas with FOB one year, then me the next. It just makes it easier to organise things.
 
ah ok, so there is an issue there, I see. If there's problems, I would really advise getting it sorted or else this is going to come up as a problem every year? It's just easier in the long run to get a proper agreement drawn up. Hopefully, like you say FOB won't mind about the day itself too much. I must sound like such an awful mother but having my son on the 25th doesn't actually matter that much to me. To me it's just a day.
 
Do what's right for you :hugs: you don't need someone treating you like that any time never mind on your LO's first xmas.

I do think the wording of the last comment above isn't helpful. This is the single parents forum. A lot of us have had abusive relationships or painful breakups, I think the "NEVER let" is a bit harsh. It's not always as simple as that.

I was simply giving my opinion. I wasn't suggesting what the op should or shouldn't do, but as a child I would have liked to see my dad on Christmas Day. I am also well aware that life isn't always simple. But my mum is a very stubborn woman. Always has been and always will be. Oh, and I know it's a single parents forum. That's why I'm here too... :flower:
 
Do what's right for you :hugs: you don't need someone treating you like that any time never mind on your LO's first xmas.

I do think the wording of the last comment above isn't helpful. This is the single parents forum. A lot of us have had abusive relationships or painful breakups, I think the "NEVER let" is a bit harsh. It's not always as simple as that.

What on earth...? The poster was saying her mother never let them see their dad on christmas. It's a statement, and I don't see how you could be offended by it. It doesn't sound from the OP's post like she has any issue with actually letting LO see her Dad, and of course it's best for a child to be able to see both parents where possible.

I kind of forget about christmas tbh. It's just a day (unless you're deeply religious) and can be recreated on another day around the 25th. Are you going to be able to see people on 25th, other than your Mum? I personally found it easier to let LO go for christmas with FOB one year, then me the next. It just makes it easier to organise things.

Ill be honest, I found it offensive as well. I felt like by saying that she never got to see her dad on christmas day and she wished she had, that she was implying i was acting like her mother and my daughter would feel the same way. It didn't feel it was constructive at all and felt it was meant to make me feel guilty for the choice I am making. I dont know if her dad abused her mum or if her mum was doing it out of spite but it seemed to me the second was being implied and that was being projected onto me. I might be reading too much into it but thats how it made me feel. Maybe teal found it offensive for similar reasons?

On Christmas Day we should be seeing my dad and his side of the family which will be nice. It's not an option atm for LO to be left alone with FOB especially with his family around so its going to be a juggling act every year with visits unfortunately so while a year each would be simpler it's not an option. I think FOB sees Christmas as not a big deal though because his family aren't into it as much so maybe he will not mind if its not actually that day he does his Christmas bit. Hopefully anyway :D

It was by no means an attempt to make you feel guilty. I'm sorry if it came across that way.
I feel really bad now, I know how so many of us on here struggle with exes and access, it honestly wasn't my intention to compare you to my mum. It just reminded me of when I was a child and what I'd have liked that's all. Obviously if he's a pain and his family are an issue then absolutely do what's right for you. Sorry again :(
 

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