Feeling down and overwhelmed

[mummy2_1]

First off, I've brought this majority on myself. My oh is trying to help and my moaning is a result of sheer exhaustion, emotions and hormones.

My youngest is 5 1/2 weeks old. She is perfec, happy and healthy, my eldest is nearly 3. My tiredness is due to night time. At bedtime, my oh puts my son to bed while I feed our Lo (bottle fed) and organise going to bed myself (bottles, formula, son's drink for morning, nappies, drink for myself-take all upstairs) I then go t bed early and I get up with baby, usually every 4 hrs in night, takes an hr t feed, wind and put bk down each time.

My oh would get up with toddler if he would wake in the night and put him bk t bed. Recently although he doesn't wake every night, when he does he wants me. So in between feeds I put him bk t bed. We Co slept with our son and also when he went into his own bed I would lay with him til he fell asleep. I dont regret doing this as it was a lovely bonding time for us, but before baby was born, I was only one t put him t bed. Hence why he only wants me on a night. He will play oh up and stay awake for hours, so easier t give in and put him bk t bed myself. But obviously on top of night feeds- only me as she is also a monkey when it comes t anyone else feeding. We take turns during the day but she fuses with the bottle, won't wind and doesn't go down well for any else but me. So generally I do the majority of feeds.

Also on top of night routine, I'm very obsessive when it comes to house work. It is not ocd - as if I'm ever rli rli tired and can't be bothered, I can leave it. I just very much love t be organised and have things done my way so even when oh does help, I usually re do so I'm happy.

So is my fault and I only have myself t blame. But especially when I feel like a zombie from tiredness all I want t do is cry. I get myself worked up that I'm a bad mum when I'm not organised and when the house isn't tidy, and when I need help with night feeds as I can't physically stay awake.

Just need t know I'm not alone in this frustration and exhaustion department. When I'm on top of everything ifeel invincible. Just the down time

 

[mummytobe_93]

First off, I've brought this majority on myself. My oh is trying to help and my moaning is a result of sheer exhaustion, emotions and hormones.

My youngest is 5 1/2 weeks old. She is perfec, happy and healthy, my eldest is nearly 3. My tiredness is due to night time. At bedtime, my oh puts my son to bed while I feed our Lo (bottle fed) and organise going to bed myself (bottles, formula, son's drink for morning, nappies, drink for myself-take all upstairs) I then go t bed early and I get up with baby, usually every 4 hrs in night, takes an hr t feed, wind and put bk down each time.

My oh would get up with toddler if he would wake in the night and put him bk t bed. Recently although he doesn't wake every night, when he does he wants me. So in between feeds I put him bk t bed. We Co slept with our son and also when he went into his own bed I would lay with him til he fell asleep. I dont regret doing this as it was a lovely bonding time for us, but before baby was born, I was only one t put him t bed. Hence why he only wants me on a night. He will play oh up and stay awake for hours, so easier t give in and put him bk t bed myself. But obviously on top of night feeds- only me as she is also a monkey when it comes t anyone else feeding. We take turns during the day but she fuses with the bottle, won't wind and doesn't go down well for any else but me. So generally I do the majority of feeds.

Also on top of night routine, I'm very obsessive when it comes to house work. It is not ocd - as if I'm ever rli rli tired and can't be bothered, I can leave it. I just very much love t be organised and have things done my way so even when oh does help, I usually re do so I'm happy.

So is my fault and I only have myself t blame. But especially when I feel like a zombie from tiredness all I want t do is cry. I get myself worked up that I'm a bad mum when I'm not organised and when the house isn't tidy, and when I need help with night feeds as I can't physically stay awake.

Just need t know I'm not alone in this frustration and exhaustion department. When I'm on top of everything ifeel invincible. Just the down time

This is me down to a T.
I have a 20 month old and an 11 week old. I do the night feedings and settle my toddler when she wakes as she only usually wants me.

I am pretty obsessive with the house being clean and tidy and when my partner tries to do it and help he just doesn't do it right or how I like it so I re do it.

When everything is clean and tidy, kids are clean and in nice clothes, fed and happy I feel great. When it's not done and both of them are crying and there's a million and one things to do I feel like I can't cope.

However my son is now 11 weeks and the last week has started to sleep amazing! Give it time when you start getting more sleep I'm sure that will help your mood levels xx

 

[mummy2_1]

I.hope so mummytobe_93. I've sat and cried this morning I'm so tired. Feeling pretty unappreciated this morning too.

 

[Bing28]

I feel exactly the same as you. Everyone tells me not to do housework and to sleep when the baby sleeps but I get so frustrated and feel so unorganised if I don't keep the house tidy.

To make matters worse my lo only sleeps in my arms during the day. As soon as I put her down she wakes within
10 minutes so I can never get anything done.

I'm so exhausted too. You are definately not alone! Big hugs! Xx

 

[Indi84]

I'm not so fussed about housework, I like it clean but am happy when dh helps.
My only thought was maybe hiring a cleaner, if only for a few weeks?
I'm going to get one for four weeks after dh goes back to work, just so I don't have to worry about bathrooms, tiles, type jobs for that time.

 

[mummy2_1]

A cleaner was an idea. It's not just about keeping house tidy. I felt rli useless today
I couldnt do anything right. I was a mess allday, breaking down in tears over the smallest of things. I know it's alot to do still with hormones. One minute I'm fine and smiling the next I'm crying and an emotional wreck. It doesn't last very long, short spells. And I know I'm ok in myself, I'm not worried about pnd. I know it's a major thing to look out for, and would not for a second down play it.

I think I rli rli need a good night's sleep. But thats not.going to happen for alongggggggg time.

 

[Indi84]

As long as your sure pnd wise, it can creep up even if you're looking out for it. No harm in chatting to a doctor if it continues a friend went down very quickly and feeling useless was a major trigger.
Any chance your oh can take a night, or family come sleep over to help?

 

[kristel_]

I could have written this myself! I am very much like this. Mostly down to forgetting to eat and not sleeping and also hormones. Today i made myself take a break and i had a 'nap' on the sofa which turned into a 3 hr sleep. Then i went and ate and i felt a lot lot better.

I think sometimes no matter how organised we want everything to be, for the sake of our health and happiness we just need to let go for a bit and recharge. I hope you feel better soon

 

[bumpbear]

Two is so much harder to cope with! My little boy has just turned one and I feel like the last year has been a blur of sleep deprivation and running round like a headless chicken trying and failing to get a grip on things. I have s mother's help come to watch the children 6 hours a week over two sessions to free me up to get organized and also a cleaner to do the deep clean once a week. This has really helped my sanity. My youngest has never slept more than a 3 hour stretch (which means I have not slept more than 2 hours at a stretch in the last 12 months because it takes me ages to settle back down to sleep again once I have been disturbed). I am an ugly wreck but seriously, my mothers help is a Godsend because at least I get some downtime then, even if i do spend the time cooking or completing chores, at least I get to take my mind off being 100% responsible for the children during those three hour blocks!