Feeling emotional

[LoveCakes]

I'm not a mushy person but the past few days I've been very pensive. I'm back to work in a few days and while I love my job and she's settling well at nursery it's still an end to an amazing period of my life. I was lucky enough to be able to take almost a year and loved it.

Plus my baby is starting to cruise and walk holding on and turning into a real wee girl. We just put a lot of her baby things like her bouncer in the attic this weekend it was so strange to think she'll never use it again.

Also I'm going to the dr next week to get referred back to the fertility clinic to ttc no 2!

No point to this I just wanted to write it down x

 

[Prinny_1]

Bless you. I'm starting to feel like that too. I don't go back to work for two months and thought it would be easier the second time, but I'm already wobbling. If I remember correctly, the anticipation is a lot worse than the reality! X

 

[x__amour]

 

[Literati_Love]

Thanks for sharing! We have babies very close in age and I am also going back to work in a couple weeks, so we are on similar timelines. I've also seen other of your posts and know we have sort of similar parenting styles / baby habits or whatever. hehe. So just wanted to say I feel the same way and It is going to be really hard to go back. I have had such an amazing year and I feel so sad knowing that my dd has no idea what is coming. She has been so clingy to me lately and soon she has to be without me all day long. I hope the transition is smooth for you.

 

[SoupDragon]

I'm going back in 5 weeks, a couple of days after DD turns 10 months. I'm dreading it. I really don't want to leave her but I have no choice. I'm feeling the same as Literati_love about that DD has no idea that soon I won't be there in the daytime for her I'm going to miss her so much and I'm scared I'm going to feel like someone else is raising my daughter and will know her better than I do and that she's not going to be 'mine' any more.

Maternity leave has gone so quickly, I really don't think any other period of my life has gone so fast. It seemed like I had ages and ages stretching out in front of me, but now it's just vanished. DD is now walking, and has also outgrown her bouncy chair, crib, play gym, etc...we need to put them all away to make room but I think neither me or DH want to admit that she's not a little baby any more, in fact she's almost a toddler. It's going to be a few years before we TTC again, so we should really put the things away, but we just...can't.

I'm going back to a more senior job (in the same place) than the one I had when I left, so I'm hoping learning all the things I need to do for my new role will keep my mind occupied, but I am the sort of person who tends to brood and worry, so I think I might still be in not great shape emotionally when I go back.

I'm just hoping that everyone else's experience of the anticipation being worse than the reality will apply to me...I'm doing an early shift so I can pick DD up and still have a few hours with her before she goes to bed, and we'll have the weekends and holidays.

She had her first settling in session at her childcare yesterday, and she seemed to like the childminder well enough. She was tired, but she played for a little while and just kept coming back to me every 5 minutes or so for a cuddle or I think just to check I was still there and everything was ok. We're going back next week and I'll stay out of sight for a bit to see how she gets on.

Ugh, this is so hard! There is no point to my post except to say I empathise

 

[LoveCakes]

Thanks everyone it means a lot.

It had been better than I thought. I'm doing a few days a week and so far she has really enjoyed nursery. They were honest and said she was a bit teary the first morning but she had been up since 5.30am so was probably tired. She was good all day today.

It is weird someone else telling me about my baby's day but I really enjoy the time after work with her.

I've been so busy at work I haven't had time to think too much about missing her though I do wonder what she's up to.

I think it's going well and it is actually easier than the anticipation.

Good luck to everyone else

 

[Literati_Love]

I'm glad it is going well so far, LoveCakes! It's good you stay busy enough at work not to think about it too much.

SoupDragon - I feel *exactly* the same way in that I worry I'll feel someone else is raising my child and I won't know her better than anyone else anymore. That just isn't right.