Feeling heartbroken

[golcarlilly]

I can't let go of the thoughts and plans I had about my baby, they just keep coming over me in waves the worst one is that when it comes to Christmas I won't have my baby, it won't be it's first Christmas and I am just heartbroken, I had looked forward to this baby so much and I don't know how I am going to get through this, I can't bear the thought that it is all over, that even if I get pregnant straight away now it will be 2009 before i have a little one to love

sorry i just needed to say that to get it out I just sometimes want to scream at the unfairness of it all

 

[Emsi76]

Hi,

Sorry you feel this way. However, many women on here can't conceive, at least you know that you can!!!

I think you need to keep this at the forefront of your mind!

x

 

[golcarlilly]

without being rude that really does not help me at this time and is not very relevant to my post but thanks for taking the time to air your views

 

[Emsi76]

Well, i have had miscarriages before and there in no point dwelling! That's my point, so there is some relevance!

 

[maccy]

I know how you feel hun, even though I don't know the outcome for sure yet till Fri. I think about Christmas and cry, my baby would have been due on Dec 2. I was planning Christmas dinner, the stocking I was gonna do so that my dd would believe Santa visited the new baby too. Even if you have only been pregnant for a few weeks you plan lots of things, names, when your scan would be due, what kind of bith you'd like etc etc the list goes on.

Hi,

Sorry you feel this way. However, many women on here can't conceive, at least you know that you can!!!

I think you need to keep this at the forefront of your mind!

x

I have one child and yes I am extremely grateful for her, more than anyone would know and I caught first time both times but that doesn't take away the hurt you feel when you lose a baby. Even if you try again it won't be the baby that you lost.

 

[golcarlilly]

Maccy - I was due on 1st December, I know if I try again it won't ever bring my lost little one back, I have one DD already too and am so lucky to have her, I just really want another one, my Hubby doesn't have kids and i just feel so bad for him too, I really want him to be a Daddy and know the happiness it brings.

Emsi76 I empathise with all those ladies out there who will never know what it is like to be a parent, (two of my best friends cannot have kids and I know that it kills them to know they will never have their own ( one has adopted two children a few years ago)) but it does not take away my pain. Furthermore I know there is 'no point dwelling' and that being upset will not change anything but I am grieving in my own way, as everyone should and whether it takes me days, weeks or years I would never, ever presume to tell anyone else how to grieve or try to make them feel like their feelings are unwarranted.

 

[Emsi76]

I think you are taking my point totally the wrong way! Yes, you have had a miscarriage but there will be anoter chance for you!

You can't look back, only forward!

Sorry i spoke!

 

[Sambatiki]

Hey Go...
I too am feeling a little similar to you. My LO was due 15th Dec. I like to come here to talk about it, as DF is finding it quite hard to be strong for both of us. Please feel free to PM me if you need to.

 

[TashaAndBump]

I don't have any words that can make it better or even begin to make it better... When I had my miscarriage I just had to cry and cry it out of me... I still am not over it, and still secretly have a little cry over the little baby that we never got to meet.

Rest assured, that while you will never ever forget your little angel or what could have been, with time you will start to come to terms with your loss and the grieving will not be so intense. Time is a great healer, and it does get better eventually.

I now have my little girl, I'm so happy to have her in our family, but I still remember and mourn for the baby that we should have had before her. Life is good for us now. I'm not saying you should forget your LO or that you will ever feel completely okay about what happened - because it's not okay, and it's not fair. But one day it will not feel like it does now; you can still have a family and all the happiness that you dreamed of, it will just take a little time to get there.

I hope that this makes sense.

 

[Visqueen]

I can't let go of the thoughts and plans I had about my baby, they just keep coming over me in waves the worst one is that when it comes to Christmas I won't have my baby, it won't be it's first Christmas and I am just heartbroken, I had looked forward to this baby so much and I don't know how I am going to get through this, I can't bear the thought that it is all over, that even if I get pregnant straight away now it will be 2009 before i have a little one to love

sorry i just needed to say that to get it out I just sometimes want to scream at the unfairness of it all

Hi Golcarlilly

I am in exactly the same position as you right now, I found out on April 16th when I went for my 12week scan I had a missed misscarriage I then had a d&c on the 18th. I too feel so lost knowing that it will also be next year before I have my first baby.

I understand only to well just how you are feeling, just sorry you are going through it too.

 

[Vivanco]

Hi sweetie, i also have a little girl and although i feel like the luckiest person alive to have her and love her with all of my being, it's nothing to do with anybody else being pregnant or not having children or anything else, it's about u, how u feel and i do understand your heart is breaking, i do believe time is a great healer but it doesnt help at the moment when u are greiving so so much.
My thoughts are with you i just wish you well in the future.
This was my 3rd miscarriage and we had made the plans chosen names, thought about when baby was due (bonfire night) planned birthdays in our daydreamy chats, that he or she could have fireworks parties and everything else that we all do, thinking of you and i hope you find a ray of light in your tunnel x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

[maddiwatts19]

I am so so sorry your feeling like this...and i completely understand!
I lost my little baby at 12 weeks...i would have been 20 now. My midwife later told me that they're pretty sure i was having a little girl..and that has made it so much harder..i keep talking to my baby although i know shes not here anymore. i cant seem to move on, and i've just completely emersed myself in ttc! I know that if i get pregnant its not going replace the baby i lost, and i dont want it to..she was special. I was due September 16th, and its going to be so much harder on that day trying to cope, when all i'll be thinking about is my baby...
Sweetheart, if you ever need to talk, i'm always here..

xxxxx

 

[Vivanco]

maddie i am sure you have not embarrased yourself!! Not on here!! It's impossible!! Of course you are still struggling and nobody would think having another baby is a replacement all our angels will never be replaced, we understand!! We all just want babies to love and cherish!! Your baby will always be special to you x x x

 

[toot]

Hello there go,
I too understand how you are feeling!! IT SUCKS!!!! I have 3 children and I feel vey blessed to have them I remarried and so very much want a baby with my dh, i had a tl in 93 after my dd was born and now I had remarried in may of 02 and had a tubal reversal in Oct of 02, after a very long wait for a bfp we finally got it in Oct of 07 we were the happest people in the world, but it ended in a m/c it was and still is tearing my heart out. Our baby would have been due next month, and it seems as of late that is all I can think about. I am now getting ready for my 3rd cycle of clomid I only have one good tube. I just want to send you some I will never foget the baby I loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[dizzynic]

I know exactly how you feel i lost my baby on 11th April this year and although i have 3 lovely girls already it still does not begin to help the pain i feel i too looked to the future was so sure i was having a boy and picked a name i know i can have another baby and have to look to the future but feel so sad and angry at never being able to know the baby i get mad at myself for missing something i have never known it will get easier as time goes on but when it gets to 28th November(when i was due) it will bring it all back again and at christmas when i should be hanging an extra stocking will feel very sad too you are not alone in your feelings all of us who have lost a baby feel the same take care if you want to talk PM me xx

 

[Snowball]

I know what you mean hun. I'm missing our little baby more than anything. When it first happened, I was so angry with my body for failing me that I shut myself in my bedroom and cut myself I just didn't see how I could carry on, I didn't really want to be alive anymore. I thought if I wished hard enough my heart would stop and I could be with Beau forever. The truth is though, it just isn't my time and no matter what I do, he's not coming back.

Since then I have picked up. I, like Maddie have thrown myself into ttc. I will take home another healthy baby one day. I've got two children whom I love to bits but it doesn't mean the pain is any less when you experience losing a baby.

I hope the pain gets better hun When I found out our baby had died someone said to me, 'What doesn't kill us can only make us stronger'. I honestly believe that. We never forget our little ones we lost but we will come out of this stronger people. I really hope you get a sticky one soon

 

[maddiwatts19]

I know what you mean hun. I'm missing our little baby more than anything. When it first happened, I was so angry with my body for failing me that I shut myself in my bedroom and cut myself I just didn't see how I could carry on, I didn't really want to be alive anymore. I thought if I wished hard enough my heart would stop and I could be with Beau forever. The truth is though, it just isn't my time and no matter what I do, he's not coming back.

Since then I have picked up. I, like Maddie have thrown myself into ttc. I will take home another healthy baby one day. I've got two children whom I love to bits but it doesn't mean the pain is any less when you experience losing a baby.

I hope the pain gets better hun When I found out our baby had died someone said to me, 'What doesn't kill us can only make us stronger'. I honestly believe that. We never forget our little ones we lost but we will come out of this stronger people. I really hope you get a sticky one soon

 

[maccy]

Hope your feeling little better today hun, thinking of you. This forum been Godsend to me over the last couple of weeks, hope you agree, anytime you need a chat feel free to pm me. x

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Hi,

Sorry you feel this way. However, many women on here can't conceive, at least you know that you can!!!

I think you need to keep this at the forefront of your mind!

x

It doesn't do much good to be fertile and have miscarriage(s). What you said is on the list of what not to say to women who've lost a baby.


I'm sorry OP.

 

[porkpie1981]