Feeling scared now, normal?

[jamusko]

Hi ladies!

New to the forum, needing some insight as I find this rather difficult to discuss with anyone I know.

Me and my hubby (together 5+ years, engaged, to be married in 1 yr) are both doing well in our careers, live very comfortably just the two of us, own our own place and have youth on our side (me, 25. Him, 28)

We both want children, and can't wait to start but now litterally are debating the "can't wait" portion..

We talked about trying to conceive immediately after our wedding, but both (mainly me) Got dissapointed when the reality hits that just because you try doesn't mean it will happen, and it could take us a year or.more (or a night who knows) to actually succeed. We want a bigger family and I have always wanted to start having children by the time I turned 25, of course, having a career and making a comfy living has made me a wee bit selfish in the fact that I like to shop, take a couple hours a day to work out on days off, be at liberty to hang with the girls etc.

Yesterday we had a deep discussion that maybe we can just get "careless" in the next 2.months. if we get lucky and conceive then we can have our first baby, and wedding 4-5 months after (as planned). At first I was all on board! Awesome! But now I'm scared.

Basically this would be putting our plans to have a baby 1 year ahead of time, and I feel like in the long run I'll be happy I did but right now I'm scared of the "loss" of my "me" time. I know I sound selfish etc but I would be the first in my group and family to have baby, I have no one to compare to. I know I want one, I know we're ready. I know that the sooner I start the happier I'll be (in the long run). I'm just suddenly scared. Scared of losing my body (ugh I know I seem to selfish), the "last year" of "freedom" (which is hilarious because all I do is work, zero freedom).

Can someone out there related to.my sudden uncertainty, but yet longing to have a baby? I'm sorry this is long, it's hard to put into words what I'm feeling

Sincerely,
Confused!!!

 

[grace14]

Hi ladies!

New to the forum, needing some insight as I find this rather difficult to discuss with anyone I know.

Me and my hubby (together 5+ years, engaged, to be married in 1 yr) are both doing well in our careers, live very comfortably just the two of us, own our own place and have youth on our side (me, 25. Him, 28)

We both want children, and can't wait to start but now litterally are debating the "can't wait" portion..

We talked about trying to conceive immediately after our wedding, but both (mainly me) Got dissapointed when the reality hits that just because you try doesn't mean it will happen, and it could take us a year or.more (or a night who knows) to actually succeed. We want a bigger family and I have always wanted to start having children by the time I turned 25, of course, having a career and making a comfy living has made me a wee bit selfish in the fact that I like to shop, take a couple hours a day to work out on days off, be at liberty to hang with the girls etc.

Yesterday we had a deep discussion that maybe we can just get "careless" in the next 2.months. if we get lucky and conceive then we can have our first baby, and wedding 4-5 months after (as planned). At first I was all on board! Awesome! But now I'm scared.

Basically this would be putting our plans to have a baby 1 year ahead of time, and I feel like in the long run I'll be happy I did but right now I'm scared of the "loss" of my "me" time. I know I sound selfish etc but I would be the first in my group and family to have baby, I have no one to compare to. I know I want one, I know we're ready. I know that the sooner I start the happier I'll be (in the long run). I'm just suddenly scared. Scared of losing my body (ugh I know I seem to selfish), the "last year" of "freedom" (which is hilarious because all I do is work, zero freedom).

Can someone out there related to.my sudden uncertainty, but yet longing to have a baby? I'm sorry this is long, it's hard to put into words what I'm feeling

Sincerely,
Confused!!!

There is always a level of anxiousness when deciding to TTC. My Husband and I waited two years after getting married, had a house and were financially great, but still were nervous! I think that's just the way it is!

I guess you have to ask yourself if you are ok with either being pregnant at your wedding, (even 9 months!) or recently have given birth.

 

[grace14]

Deleted

 

[aidensxmomma]

I think it's normal to feel scared and anxious about it.

I've been waiting 2+ years to start trying and it's all I've wanted. However, when my OH and I finally agreed to start TTC, I spent the next couple days freaking out. I worried about how we could afford it, how our relationship would change, how my kids would handle having another sibling, etc. etc. And I know we're ready. I know 100%, without a doubt that I want another child. I think it's just scary to take that big leap, no matter how set you are. It's even scarier to take that leap for the first time. And like I said, I got really scared and nervous at first and this will be my fourth child. I think it's completely normal and happens to most of us