Feeling useless...

[wasey]

My little bunny is 6 days old today, and I love her to pieces I never ever expected to be so in love with anything or anyone in my entire life. I live with my mum, brother, OH and little one, so I've plenty support and everyone else loves SumSum too, but I can't help but feel like I'm loading her off on my mum? I don't personally think I am... but I feel like other people would think so. My mum is back at work in a weeks time so she'll obviously do a lot less for us then but... my mum feeding/changing her a couple times isn't bad is it? It's not as if I don't do anything, I do, my mum just does a few changes sometimes.

We're sleeping downstairs (Me, mum and Summer) for the first week because her cot is still waiting to be delivered, mine and OH's room is currently in "cooling down mode" and because my boyfriend and I have uber bad trouble waking up in the night. I needed help at first because I was so scared of breaking her. I literally cried because I just felt like whenever she needed changing I was doing it all wrong and unlike most people my instinct just didn't seem to be taking over (didn't want to hold her legs, when she cried I just panicked etc). My mums been SUCH a huge help and without her, yeah, I'd have figured it out myself but I wouldn't have been confident in what I was doing, and me and OH would have just been lost on how to get her over our shoulders to wind her, but I'm not being a bad mum am I?

I mean... she won't grow up thinking her nanna's her mum? Or in the next month she won't start thinking my mum is her mum right? I don't think my mum's doing too much but I just want someone else to tell me so

 

[cupcake]

oh your post sounds so worried, it really sounds to me like you are doing just great, you know you need a bit of help from your mom and that's just fine. Your mom doing a few changes, helping to show you things, watching the baby when you take a nap, giving the odd feed are all good things. it allows you to rest a bit which is badly needed in the beginning and its perfectly healthy to take a bit of help. everyone needs some help. your baby won't think anyone but you are her mom, and how lucky she is to have a grandma to love her too. Don't put so much effort into keeping score of who does what, just enjoy being a mom. If you were just handing her off to your mom every chance you got, and ignoring her then that would be bad, but you are not. Congratulations!

 

[Burchy314]

My mom was like this when Jayden was born. They are there to help. I know 28 year ok'd with a newborn that have there mom stay at there house for the first month to help out. It's your first kid, you are learning and she is there to help you out. Your daughter won't know the difference at all!! And when your mom goes back to work you will have her to yourself so it's better that she is there now helping you out so you know what to do when she's not there.

My mom still helps me out at night time. She plays with her, changes her sometimes, feeds her sometimes, she loves it and I get a break.

 

[wasey]

oh thats so reassuring, i'm slowly getting there with waking up, changing her and winding her and such but i just needed to know i wasn't being a bad mum for asking my mum to help out thankyou ladiesss.

 

[lauram_92]

I think everyone wants a bit of help at the start because it all so different to being pregnant and lazing about all day. I wish I got more help. I don't speak to FOB and my parents never helped out. But it sounds like your mum just wants to help and I'm sure she loves spending time with her Grandaughter. You daughter will definately know the difference between you, it is all about learning how to do everything at the start. Soon you'll just pick it up

 

[Chrissy7411]

My mom was the same way. For me, the first week was overwhelming because I had no idea what I was doing, why he'd cry, if I was going to hurt him, etc. Without my mom, yes I would of figured out, but her help was amazing and really helped me feel confident to do it on my own! She still helps when I want to shower or eat. I felt bad at first too, but everyone needs help in the beginning. Now I don't need any help and feel completely comfortable doing it all on my own. I'm so confident in how I care for LO.

 

[emmylou92]

i had my mum drive 200 miles to help me for the first week and so glad she did or i would of been a wreck. your doing a good job and congrats.

 

[lily123]

I wouldn't sweat it, i think every new mum is like this when their baby is newborn, i know i was! Mummy was a brilliant help to me, i had no idea what i was doing so i kind of learned from her iykwim? After about 3 weeks though, i didn't need her help whatsoever.
x

 

[Strawberrymum]

My mum LOVED helping me ou and it was so fantastic for me!

I used to have those doubts too like ppl would say oh you'll know what your baby wants but she would cry and IDE have no idea to start with! I'd just try everything and see what worked.

A friend came ovr once and her baby (second child)cryed and she was like oh he's tired then rocked him and he fell asleep! I was like what my baby just crys! But I learnt what she wants. eventually instinct just clicks into place

 

[QuintinsMommy]

My mom tried to help but I made huge point that this was my baby and my responsibility, we stay at her house for two nights in the beginning and I didn't let anyone feed him or do the changing , in the next few weeks to come my mom would have to FORCE me to sleep sometimes during the day lol but every sound he made I would be up feeding him anyway, my mom said I looked like death! looking back I wish I did accept more help

 

[112110]

Don't worry hun My Mom still does the occasional change or feed when I get overwhelmed.

 

[x__amour]

It's okay to have people help you. You are not useless.