Feeling very lost and confused looking for advice

[mummof1]

We just had our first ultrasound and I was suppose to be 9 weeks 4 days but only measuring 8 weeks 4 days with no heartbeat
Should I wait it out to bleed ? I haven't had any signs no cramping or spotting . Or do I opt for a D&C or my midwife also mentioned some kind of pill ?
I'm so lost and heartbroken

 

[caz_hills]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry for your loss.
I don't know what the procedure is but we were told to wait for another scan in a week to confirm the lack of development as they say dates can be out.
I think typically there are four options: naturally, using medicine to get it started, then surgery either under local or generAl.
My last MC I had the general process. It was fine and they were wonderful but I hated being put to sleep.
Everyone is different and ladies on here all share their experiences which is wonderful.
I know it's such a hard place to be. There are wonderful ladies on here to support. X

 

[LoraLoo]

I had the medical management both times- the pessaries and oral tablets.
The first time it took 6 hours and the second time 8 do it was over very quickly. It was painful near the end but i managed fine on painkillers. Once baby and placenta were out the pain stopped immediately.

 

[mummof1]

Thank you ladies . I'm so scared , I think I would rather pass it naturally but I don't want to go on waiting weeks for things to start happening. I also worry that passing the baby will be traumatic for me.
The midwife said she was referring me to an OB so I can see her next week hopefully and discuss what I should do. If nothing happens before then.
I think if I'm going to pick pills or D&C I would like another scan to confirm since I haven't had any signs of there being anything wrong.
This is all so shocking and heartbreaking

 

[lovemybubba]

I'm so so sorry for your loss Hun 😔 i was in your situation back in June, 12 weeks and 3 days, but my baby had passed a week before that. I also had no bleeding or cramps and I had my heart set on taking the medication to start the process but my hospital said they didn't offer that choice there, so I could either wait it out or have surgical management.
I was really struggling over the weekend while I waited to make up my mind, because I found it really hard to know my baby was inside me but not alive, I just wanted to be able to grieve properly, so I had a D&C. I was put to sleep and everything went quickly and smoothly. A few little cramps afterwards which only lasted about half an hour and a very heavy like period for two days, then it tapered off. I'm glad I had the D&C so I could "move on" and start my grieving process, but in a way I regret it because I so wish I had passed my baby naturally so I could of seen her for the first and last time.
Don't be afraid with whichever option you choice, just go with your heart and choose the best way for you.
There's lots of lovely ladies on here and we're here if you need a chat x

 

[mummof1]

Thank you . I feel so stuck in limbo because my midwife said I probably won't get to see an OB until next week sometime anyway.
I suppose I'll wait until then but I'm also a teacher and I have to go back to work on Sept 8th, I wouldn't want to have to take a day off for a D&C the first week back to school.
Bad timing.

 

[Blu10]

Sorry for your loss hun. I had a mmc at the exact same point as you in January. I waited nearly 3 weeks and bled on and off but never passed baby so had a D&C. The procedure itself was painless and i felt it helped me to get back to normal within a few weeks, although physically I felt fine in a few days. I did experience a hormone crash about a week later which wasnt nice but id opt for the same procedure again if i had too. I was told a D&C can also be a good way to ensure your womb lining is fresh to conceive again - worked for me, I had a D&C in Feb and conceived in April x

 

[amytrisha]

It's completely up to you sweet have a good read up about each procedure and make a decision you feel comfortable with xx

 

[Vicky_92]

Sending you some big hugs, I had a natural mc and luckily I didn't have too much pain. I'm so so so sorry for your loss, and I really hope you can find an option that is best for you. Again I am so sorry.

 

[mitchnorm]

So sorry for your loss. Only you can make the decision about what feels right for you. I went for a private scan at 9 weeks and was told heartbeat stopped in the last 24 hourshours. Was broken!!! Was confirmed on 2 further scans that I requested.

I was offered the chance to wait but for me it wasn't the right choice....my baby was dead...I had no sign of bleeding and cramping and didn't want to wait days/weeks for something possibly to happen . I opted for the erpc (d&c)....it was quick, painless for me, no excessive bleeding.

Good luck with whatever you choose x x x

 

[mummof1]

Sorry for your loss as well
The more I've been thinking the more I am leaning towards a D&C