'Final' parenting decisions...

[Ceejay123]

I was just thinking about when it comes to parenting decisions between me and my other half... And what other people's situations are like?

My little man is ten months old, and we do pretty well at agreeing with most things really. We have disagreed on a few things, baptism things, godparents, what to feed him and how...

My mil once tried to get him to do something and my oh looked at me and said 'you better ask charlotte' haha... It's kind of come to light that my oh will give his opinion, but respects that all final decisions are mine as I tend to know best with my little one and he respects that. So hospital decisions, haircuts, schools, religion etc are all down to me.


How does it work in your guys relationships?

 

[Vickie]

pretty much the same. I listen to his opinion but usually he leaves the final decision up to me

 

[dgirllamius]

Final decisions are usually left down to me, but we discuss things first and my OH just says "well it's up to you, you got a good he's on your shoulders". My OH isn't good at making important decisions so he prefers to leave them to me but doesn't like me to leave him out and make he decision without him.

 

[SarahP13]

My OH and I have never disagreed about anything when it comes to DD...yet! But he often defers to me when it comes to decisions, he will always give an opinion but I have been a nanny for 15 years and he hasn't had much to do with children so I guess he respects my experience.

I know he would tell me if he disagreed with something and, to be honest, unless I felt very strongly I would probably go along with him as it would be something very important to him. If that makes sense?!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

We never really spoke about anything and just go with the flow but neither of us have strong opinions either way. To be honest, he leaves most of them to me as he says I look into things more.

 

[xemmax]

I tend to bring up discussions more and give my opinion first but I always ask his and wait until we agree. We have the same views on most things but I'd say any decisions about Oliver are always mutual, I've never had to try and demand my own way and neither has he (yet). For instance I heard about BLW so I proposed it, he agreed, and we did it. Clothing and haircuts I always have to nag him until he agrees though, I'd never get Oli's hair cut or buy Oli clothes without DF there (we're both a bit particular about those things).

 

[Tegans Mama]

We talk in depth about things like that and come to a mutual decision

 

[Bevziibubble]

It is mostly me who has the final decision. That's not to say I'm bossy or controlling, lol, I just go with the flow and do what feels right for our daughter. We have had disagreements which have mainly come from DH listening to his mum's side of the family and their crap advice - he became convinced she was manipulating us from the age of about 3 months and needed to be left to cry or she'd spend her life spoilt and clingy. His family have day round me and lectured me on this and my husband started agreeing with them.

I've since showed him various research and he agrees now that we should go with the flow and not force LO into compliance. I've been dreading seeing that part of his family after Xmas but he said he's going to stick up to his uncle as he now disagrees with him. Oops a bit of a rant there, haha, just annoying how we spent so many months disagreeing on parenting because his family couldn't stop interfering!

 

[Ceejay123]

It is mostly me who has the final decision. That's not to say I'm bossy or controlling, lol, I just go with the flow and do what feels right for our daughter. We have had disagreements which have mainly come from DH listening to his mum's side of the family and their crap advice - he became convinced she was manipulating us from the age of about 3 months and needed to be left to cry or she'd spend her life spoilt and clingy. His family have day round me and lectured me on this and my husband started agreeing with them.

I've since showed him various research and he agrees now that we should go with the flow and not force LO into compliance. I've been dreading seeing that part of his family after Xmas but he said he's going to stick up to his uncle as he now disagrees with him. Oops a bit of a rant there, haha, just annoying how we spent so many months disagreeing on parenting because his family couldn't stop interfering!

I could have written this!! All of our disagreements come from his side of the family trying to tell me how to raise my child - no thanks! I've done it before, I raised my sister until she was Riley's age, so I've had to remind my other half of that and make him back off haha x

 

[rwhite]

Usually me. He likes to think he's the boss though Well, we do make a lot of decisions together, if one's really against it we will hash it out and hear eachother out

 

[ZoeyKaspian]

We don't have a child yet together, but being with someone who has children and the fact we're trying to conceive and have lost one child has made us have to discuss parenting decisions. Just last week, my fiance's son was throwing a tantrum. I didn't agree with how my fiance was handling it at all. Later that day, he ASKED me what I thought and I gave him my honest opinion. He has a habit of saying "No more fun time if you keep acting up." and then caving in which I made clear I did not want to happen with our child. He told me the main reason is that now that he just sees his son on weekends or whenever his ex goes to travel to see her boyfriend, he finds it harder to discipline him because his son cries and cries when it's time to go home. We are continuing discussing parenting decisions. Also, since we're both wanting a daughter so badly, I've had time to ask him questions about situations in which our daughter would get into in the future and how he would handle them, because a daughter's going to be a bit different. I am sure as we learn through a parenting experience, we're going to face other issues where we are going to ask each other or tell each other that one or the other handled it a way in which we wouldn't have. I did tell my fiance that the whole not sticking to his word thing made me fear that he might do the thing where our child asks me and I say no and then he says yes, but he promised he wouldn't. Let's hope that's true lol

 

[tasha41]

Usually I get the final say, since I am the one who is with her the most/responsible for more of her care... I do hear him out though & try to compromise. Usually he doesn't have an opinion or just agrees with me lol

 

[Mummy2B21]

Ours is pretty much the same as what youv said. X

 

[Bexxx]

Everything is up to me. I'm not with FOB, we split at the beginning of the year but even when we were together it was all me. He is not very confident in his decisions and doesn't really have an opinion on things to do with Isla. Although saying that, he was not impressed I cut her hair a few months back, she couldn't see past her fringe! I didn't have much choice!

 

[Ceejay123]

Everything is up to me. I'm not with FOB, we split at the beginning of the year but even when we were together it was all me. He is not very confident in his decisions and doesn't really have an opinion on things to do with Isla. Although saying that, he was not impressed I cut her hair a few months back, she couldn't see past her fringe! I didn't have much choice!

Aww haha, I'm still with my oh but he'd kill me if I cut my sons hair... Won't stop me doing it though good on you x

 

[oliviarose]

Final decision is always left to me......

 

[louandivy]

I tend to bring up discussions more and give my opinion first but I always ask his and wait until we agree. We have the same views on most things but I'd say any decisions about Oliver are always mutual, I've never had to try and demand my own way and neither has he (yet). For instance I heard about BLW so I proposed it, he agreed, and we did it. Clothing and haircuts I always have to nag him until he agrees though, I'd never get Oli's hair cut or buy Oli clothes without DF there (we're both a bit particular about those things).

This, but without the clothes part because Dom is absolutely hopeless when it comes to dressing Ivy