First month trying... first BFN, was that as hard for you as it is for me?

[Sammy23]

Hi. My husband and I just started trying this past month. We've been thinking about it for a little while, so I had already read quite a few things about how to do this. I understand now when conception is likely to happen, what health conditions can get in the way, how to track my cycle, when to take pregnancy tests... all of that general stuff. I tend to get a little obsessive about these things (you know, completely life altering events) when preparing for it... but I definitely felt that I was prepared for anything.

It seemed so simple to me; especially because my cycle has been so regular once I turned 18 (when I was a teenager it did what it pleased...). I get my period every 28 days, it last for exactly four days and then everything starts over. I figured that would make things particularly easy.

So, we followed exactly what this pattern of tracking should predict. After ovulation I had several symptoms... that could have been either PMS or pregnancy. Then, my period was 6 days late. I could almost "feel" that something was different. And I wanted so badly for this to be easy for us and without unpredictability, worry, or stress (perhaps I should just expect that if I want to have a baby...) I had been testing since three days before AF should have started and all were BFN. Today I was about to test and realized I got my period instead.

A 32 day cycle is pretty odd for me. Being a mental health professional, my instinct is to tell myself that it was all psycho-somatic; that I managed to want it so badly that I changed the way my body functions on a fundamental level. Who knows. And who cares, really.

I just feel bad. I have to tell my husband that I got my period and he was almost convinced that I was pregnant. This stinks.

How do you all deal with this? What was your first BFN like? I can only imagine/hope that it gets easier. I know conception on the first try is highly unlikely, I know that I have been completely stressed out (we're also in the process of buying our first home), I know that the odds of this happening for us are so minimal, I just hoped it would. I'm sad that it didn't work.

What was it like for you? I know I need to be patient, I need to wait. It just sucks, still.

Thanks for any feedback.

 

[Jlss51313]

I was 9 days late and kept getting BFN, I had little syptoms of being pregnant, then AF showed up, my hubby also was convinced that I was preggers, we are starting to ttc our first. I'm now on CD5. Anyways, yes it does hurt when you think your preggers and you get a BFN it sucks. Hope it doesn't take us long to coneive. Love hugs and baby dust! Good luck

 

[Jlss51313]

Hope you conceive soon girly

 

[imphope]

Hi Sammy 23. I could have written a very similar post as yours. I'm on CD 10 of our second cycle ttc. My first cycle was a very similar story. Regular for years. Came off BCP in Sept. I've been tracking my cycles for months and researching everything. Then our first month ttc my af was 6 days late. That BFN was really upsetting. I too realize I need patience, but a small part of me hoped we would be in the lucky minority to conceive quickly. I am a worrier by nature and I'm not sure how to balance my tendencies to 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst' with 'relax and just let it happen'. I'm turning 33 in 2 weeks and my husband turns 32 in a month. That's all we have going against us that we know of, and I hope we can beat the odds. Best of luck to you in your journey. Maybe we both will have happy surprises soon!

 

[Sct133]

Hi. My husband and I just started trying this past month. We've been thinking about it for a little while, so I had already read quite a few things about how to do this. I understand now when conception is likely to happen, what health conditions can get in the way, how to track my cycle, when to take pregnancy tests... all of that general stuff. I tend to get a little obsessive about these things (you know, completely life altering events) when preparing for it... but I definitely felt that I was prepared for anything.

It seemed so simple to me; especially because my cycle has been so regular once I turned 18 (when I was a teenager it did what it pleased...). I get my period every 28 days, it last for exactly four days and then everything starts over. I figured that would make things particularly easy.

So, we followed exactly what this pattern of tracking should predict. After ovulation I had several symptoms... that could have been either PMS or pregnancy. Then, my period was 6 days late. I could almost "feel" that something was different. And I wanted so badly for this to be easy for us and without unpredictability, worry, or stress (perhaps I should just expect that if I want to have a baby...) I had been testing since three days before AF should have started and all were BFN. Today I was about to test and realized I got my period instead.

A 32 day cycle is pretty odd for me. Being a mental health professional, my instinct is to tell myself that it was all psycho-somatic; that I managed to want it so badly that I changed the way my body functions on a fundamental level. Who knows. And who cares, really.

I just feel bad. I have to tell my husband that I got my period and he was almost convinced that I was pregnant. This stinks.

How do you all deal with this? What was your first BFN like? I can only imagine/hope that it gets easier. I know conception on the first try is highly unlikely, I know that I have been completely stressed out (we're also in the process of buying our first home), I know that the odds of this happening for us are so minimal, I just hoped it would. I'm sad that it didn't work.

What was it like for you? I know I need to be patient, I need to wait. It just sucks, still.

Thanks for any feedback.

My hubby and I are on cycle 9 of TTC baby #1...it's been a long 9 months and it's hard to stay positive sometimes. Hoping you get your BFP soon!

 

[HotMessJess84]

My first cycle off bcp I knew better than to get my hopes up but I did it anyway. AF was a week late and I was hoping for a bfp. I knew it was silly to think it would happen so quick but I don't think anything prepares you for a bfn. I'm on my second cycle and trying not to let myself get so wrapped up this time.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

I'm in the midst of our first TWW since trying to get pregnant, so I am hoping so hard that we have got this first cycle! I know what you mean, I'm so wrapped up in it all and so consumed with thinking about it that I don't really know how else to be? I guess when you want something so badly it does become part of your every day!

We will both be very disappointed if we get that BFN this cycle so I am trying to stay really positive and think good thoughts about it happening.

We have waited a long time to TTC and I don't want to look back and regret not trying sooner if it doesn't happen quickly!

Annoyingly, people with babies seem to take the "relax and it'll happen" or "it'll happen when it's meant to" approach which is all well and good when you are there and pregnant or you have your baby to snuggle on the outside but when you're in the middle of trying or TWW, it's not that helpful!

 

[Cntrygal]

First month TTC is the worst. I fell into the test early trap and was crushed. I was so careful our first month TTC making sure I didn't do anything to jeopardize it. My cycle was always on the dot but has since changed since TTC ranging from 26-30. This is our 4th month TTC and AF is due anywhere between today and Thursday. I finally bit the bullet and started temping this month to try and help figure all this out. Needless to say, I don't test early anymore. If AF hasn't shown, I won't test until Friday or Saturday.

Good luck in your TTC adventure. Trust that you are not alone.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Thanks Cntrygal! I love love your profile picture, how lovely

I might try temping too if this cycle isn't successful, though I am still holding out hope that it will be! I am the sort of person that likes to know what is going on and if anything, I should know my body better so perhaps I'll give it a go

 

[BumpySomeday]

Aww, I can imagine that when I TTC next year it will be incredibly difficult if it doesn't happen first try as well. I told DH that I will be deleting my apps/tracking.. otherwise, I will go insane.

I feel for you ladies that have been trying for so long. It really breaks my heart to see women wanting to have children not have it happen "like that" meanwhile I see people who are simply being "lazy" or what have you and bam.. pregnant. It's incredible the way things work sometimes.

Baby dust to you all!!!

 

[Cntrygal]

Thanks Cntrygal! I love love your profile picture, how lovely

Well thank ya tuesdaysbaby!

I'm not sure why I didn't start temping sooner, I highly recommend it for an easy way to have a clue what your body is doing. I just put the temp in fertility friend and let it do its thing. It allows me to feel like I have a handle on things...even though we all know that isn't true!

Hang in there ladies.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Thanks Cntrygal! I love love your profile picture, how lovely

Well thank ya tuesdaysbaby!

I'm not sure why I didn't start temping sooner, I highly recommend it for an easy way to have a clue what your body is doing. I just put the temp in fertility friend and let it do its thing. It allows me to feel like I have a handle on things...even though we all know that isn't true!

Hang in there ladies.

Yes and that's the kind of thing I love, a semblance of control! I am ALL about that

 

[paulw]

Hi. My husband and I just started trying this past month. We've been thinking about it for a little while, so I had already read quite a few things about how to do this. I understand now when conception is likely to happen, what health conditions can get in the way, how to track my cycle, when to take pregnancy tests... all of that general stuff. I tend to get a little obsessive about these things (you know, completely life altering events) when preparing for it... but I definitely felt that I was prepared for anything.

It seemed so simple to me; especially because my cycle has been so regular once I turned 18 (when I was a teenager it did what it pleased...). I get my period every 28 days, it last for exactly four days and then everything starts over. I figured that would make things particularly easy.

So, we followed exactly what this pattern of tracking should predict. After ovulation I had several symptoms... that could have been either PMS or pregnancy. Then, my period was 6 days late. I could almost "feel" that something was different. And I wanted so badly for this to be easy for us and without unpredictability, worry, or stress (perhaps I should just expect that if I want to have a baby...) I had been testing since three days before AF should have started and all were BFN. Today I was about to test and realized I got my period instead.

A 32 day cycle is pretty odd for me. Being a mental health professional, my instinct is to tell myself that it was all psycho-somatic; that I managed to want it so badly that I changed the way my body functions on a fundamental level. Who knows. And who cares, really.

I just feel bad. I have to tell my husband that I got my period and he was almost convinced that I was pregnant. This stinks.

How do you all deal with this? What was your first BFN like? I can only imagine/hope that it gets easier. I know conception on the first try is highly unlikely, I know that I have been completely stressed out (we're also in the process of buying our first home), I know that the odds of this happening for us are so minimal, I just hoped it would. I'm sad that it didn't work.

What was it like for you? I know I need to be patient, I need to wait. It just sucks, still.

Thanks for any feedback.

It was indeed very disappointing, as we were definitely convinced we were gonna see positive at the weekend. All the symptoms, AF was increasingly late.. but sure enough she visited and we got our BFN. First month of TTC#1.

Let's hope next month is the one - best of luck!