Jojo my hearts broken but it's breaking for you.
Horrific thong to go through and it's NOT easy and it will feel like this for a while. Your days are exactly same as me, thurs n waiting till Monday.
Do not worry about the labour, you are looked after so well by the nurses and midwives, if your hurting, they can help physical pain.
If it gives you any slight ray of hope, when my little girl was born after a sore labour (allergy to the painkillers!) I was so peaceful, calm, no tears.
Just enjoy the time you have with baby, kisses, cuddles, photos, hold baby, talk to baby and you can keep hold of baby as long as you want.
Honestly sweetheart don't be scared of labour, I'd do it all over again just to replay the 25 hours I had with her.
Your baby is beautiful, and you will get to see that, unfortunately baby couldn't wait to meet their special mummy, so came early.
Nothing I can say will make it easier, but if you want to talk, I am here.
Big hugs sweets xxxxxxxxxxxxxx